Anonymous wrote:My kids miss their friends and want to be at school but the big silver lining has been that my 14 yr old is well rested for the first time in years. She is naturally a night owl, just like DH and does best when she can go to bed really late and sleep until 10am ish. Of course, this doesn't work with school hours so she is chronically over tired. As a result, she gets sick easily and ends up missing too much school.

We've spent years trying to help her sleep better - strict "sleep hygiene" habits, white noise, no screens in evening, occasional use of melatonin, sleep studies. Ultimately, nothing works. She lies in bed until she can fall asleep at midnight or later. She's just like DH whose ideal sleep hours are 1am-9 or 10am.

Now, she can actually do that and she feels so much better. She now wants to figure out how she can do work as an adult that works with her sleep schedule. DH manages by having a WAH IT job where he doesn't have to log in until 10am for daily meeting.

I’m exactly like your daughter and husband and have the same preferred sleep schedule. My dad is also the same way. It’s been so frustrating to be thought of as lazy all my life because I wasn’t ready to go to school at 7:00am and tired a lot of the day. I have a PhD and two Masters degrees and work full time with kids but I’m not mentally alert before 9:00am. And it’s not because we are lazy! Im much more productive now that I can sleep according to my natural circadian rhythm.

These articles get under my skin. My kids, who are teens, are miserable. They miss their friends, their sports teams, their independence, their special events they were looking forward to (concerts, camps, school events). It's a lot of disappointment. They also have a clear understanding of what's going on in the world, the health risks, the changes, and it scares them.

It's one thing to be a baby to 10 years old and be super excited for no school, be home with lots of homemade food and have parents not too stressed about money who can play board games, dress up, bike ride, hold hands, cuddle and watch Netflix from dawn to dusk. All parents attention all the time. Who wouldn't love that.

Then it's another for adolescents who are normally supposed to be going through the stages of individualization, independence and finding peer groups, being held inside 24/7 under their parents rules, even if it's for their own good and health. They have little to no interaction in person with their peers. They aren't interested in doing puzzles or reading books with their parents, and that doesn't make them bad kids or abnormal. There are other articles about how older kids are expressing anger and rage. Then add into that all the unknown, all the cancellations and the consent corona this and that, it's not all unicorn hunting for them.

For us with older kids, it's been very hard.

My kids miss their friends and want to be at school but the big silver lining has been that my 14 yr old is well rested for the first time in years. She is naturally a night owl, just like DH and does best when she can go to bed really late and sleep until 10am ish. Of course, this doesn't work with school hours so she is chronically over tired. As a result, she gets sick easily and ends up missing too much school.

We've spent years trying to help her sleep better - strict "sleep hygiene" habits, white noise, no screens in evening, occasional use of melatonin, sleep studies. Ultimately, nothing works. She lies in bed until she can fall asleep at midnight or later. She's just like DH whose ideal sleep hours are 1am-9 or 10am.

Now, she can actually do that and she feels so much better. She now wants to figure out how she can do work as an adult that works with her sleep schedule. DH manages by having a WAH IT job where he doesn't have to log in until 10am for daily meeting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seen huge developmental milestones since we pulled the baby out of daycare in early March. Being around him all day has made a hugely beneficial difference in our lives.

Babies benefit immensely from having their own “personal” adult caretaker.

Having my son in full time daycare since he was 4 mos old (he’s 10yo now) is one of my biggest regrets in life. It was what I thought was right at the time, and not going back to work wasn’t a financial option for me. I’ll always wonder if the challenging parts of my child are due to that decision.

Anonymous wrote:My kids are not happier. They're sad and complaining every day that they miss school, their friends, and their activities. They miss their team sports. And we are not happier now either. I loved my overscheduled, running around, busy life. I loved eating at restaurants, shopping at actual stores, travel, seeing family members. Now I'm a couch potato who feels isolated and alone and i hate that. i also don't like living in fear of coming down with a severe disease--the stress from that is the worst part of this.

Maybe if you make things more fun and lighthearted at home then your kids would be happier too? Kids absorb their parents’ energy. If you’re feeling like a bored couch potato eventually they will too and they’ll be less happy as a result.

My kids are not happier. They're sad and complaining every day that they miss school, their friends, and their activities. They miss their team sports. And we are not happier now either. I loved my overscheduled, running around, busy life. I loved eating at restaurants, shopping at actual stores, travel, seeing family members. Now I'm a couch potato who feels isolated and alone and i hate that. i also don't like living in fear of coming down with a severe disease--the stress from that is the worst part of this.

Anonymous wrote:What is your 13-15 year old kid doing? My son spends all his time playing video games. Interacting with friends Online - but I can’t get him outside he plays club sports when things are normal but without the organization of the team schedule he’s not exercising on his own. And to suggest a walk or a bike ride just doesn’t work with him. The weather has been so beautiful and I feel like my son is missing a season of his life he will never get back. If summer is like this it will be so depressing.

Mine were like this until I took the XBox and their iPads away. It’s amazing how much they’ve been out since.

My two middle-aged sons are happier. I think this shows us how over-scheduled they usually are. It’s been nice not having to spend our evenings doing homework and racing between practices and games. I thought they’d miss their friends more but they are surprisingly happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seen huge developmental milestones since we pulled the baby out of daycare in early March. Being around him all day has made a hugely beneficial difference in our lives.

I do believe that your baby (and you) benefit from being together; however, babies are growing and developing at an amazing rate from birth. Your baby would be hitting these milestones wherever she is: you just happen to be there to see it.

- former nanny, current sahm

I agree with this. I'm a WOHM whose new baby didn't start day care as planned last month due to this, and i feel super lucky to see him develop, but that could be happening with others too.

If only my 5 year old were happier at home He's a social kid, this is hard on him.

My 15 yr old is happy. He doesn't have to wake up at 6am, wear a tie and go to school all day. He sleeps a lot (and grows too!) and can wear sweats all day. He has to take PE next year so he said he hopes we are still at home then so he doesn't have to do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is asking me if he can be homeschooled.
I am very tempted. I am a single mom so have to work.
He is 10 and has a certain degree of independence.
Maybe that’s doable?

They have online homeschool products. Look at K12.com.

K12.com is like an all-in-one school that can be done at home, but there are many other options that offer more flexibility and creativity. Some ideas are listed on schoolclosures.org.

What is your 13-15 year old kid doing? My son spends all his time playing video games. Interacting with friends Online - but I can’t get him outside he plays club sports when things are normal but without the organization of the team schedule he’s not exercising on his own. And to suggest a walk or a bike ride just doesn’t work with him. The weather has been so beautiful and I feel like my son is missing a season of his life he will never get back. If summer is like this it will be so depressing.

I don’t miss the stress of rushing around, but no one is happier this way. I just know I need to get a work from home job again. OTOH, I’m happy to still be employed, so there is that.

Anonymous wrote:My kid is asking me if he can be homeschooled.
I am very tempted. I am a single mom so have to work.
He is 10 and has a certain degree of independence.
Maybe that’s doable?

They have online homeschool products. Look at K12.com.

My Kindergartner is happier - I always knew we were rushing her too much, she can play barbies now for hours interrupted. My 1st grader is begging for this to be over and desperately misses her friends. I dont know that I think they are playing together better -they are pretty sick of each other and are at each others throats.

More independent- yes. They just climb onto the counters and eat granola bars all day.