Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 56, and fairly fit. He would be happy with sex everyday. Having stated that, when DH hits his retirement years, I will still be in the workforce for another six years. I can't imagine if we were 15 years apart, and how long he'd have to wait for me to stop working for us to enjoy our golden years together. I guess if you were super wealthy, this would not be an issue.

You should’ve married old AND rich.

Same age difference here. Except I am the one that is rich. So don’t care when husband retires because we will retire together at anytime. (Married 25 yrs)

Anonymous wrote:If you like the guy, that's all there is to it. No advice needed.

This. When I was 34 I dated a 45 year old. Not as big a difference but still a significant gap. We got along well and I found him incredibly sexy. It ultimately didn’t work out but I don’t think I’ll ever match that level of intense chemistry ever again.

Anonymous wrote:My mom’s second husband was ten years older than her. It wasn’t noticeable for their first twenty years together (got together at 43 and 53). Then he got real old real fast while she was still in her prime, both personally and career wise. Now, she has been a caretaker for almost ten years and there’s certainly some resentment there because even though she loves him, she lost a lot of good years. It also made her older quicker, frankly.

He "got old" at what - 65? 70? At which point she was in her late 50s? Get outta here with this "she was in her prime" nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:I think the bigger issues are children from your previous marriages.

Adult/teen kids don't typically warm up to parents' new loves. Conflict eventually ensues.

But that is true regardless of the age diff between you and him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It works well until he is somewhere between 70 and 75.

If you're going to dump a guy because he's 70 or 75, why is it worse for you to be 60 when you do it instead of 70?

You’re using a 5 year metric to ask a question of a proposed 15 year metric.

You aren't getting it.

Scenario 1: you marry a guy 5 years older than you. You divorce him when he is 75 because he is old and broken. You are 70.
Scenario 2: you marry a guy 15 years older, divorce him when he is 75 because he is old and broken. You are 60.

Why are you worse off in scenario 2 than scenario 1?

I think the bigger issues are children from your previous marriages.

Adult/teen kids don't typically warm up to parents' new loves. Conflict eventually ensues.

My mom’s second husband was ten years older than her. It wasn’t noticeable for their first twenty years together (got together at 43 and 53). Then he got real old real fast while she was still in her prime, both personally and career wise. Now, she has been a caretaker for almost ten years and there’s certainly some resentment there because even though she loves him, she lost a lot of good years. It also made her older quicker, frankly.

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 56, and fairly fit. He would be happy with sex everyday. Having stated that, when DH hits his retirement years, I will still be in the workforce for another six years. I can't imagine if we were 15 years apart, and how long he'd have to wait for me to stop working for us to enjoy our golden years together. I guess if you were super wealthy, this would not be an issue.

You should’ve married old AND rich.

My DH is 56, and fairly fit. He would be happy with sex everyday. Having stated that, when DH hits his retirement years, I will still be in the workforce for another six years. I can't imagine if we were 15 years apart, and how long he'd have to wait for me to stop working for us to enjoy our golden years together. I guess if you were super wealthy, this would not be an issue.

"Is this an issue for older women? I am getting divorced soon from a sexless marriage, and can't even fathom there are women out there that want to do it multiple times a week let alone a day. Don't tease me!

Of course. I'm 51 - in recent years, more men than not have been disappointing in bed because they have difficulty even getting one done. Even if I'm satisfied, its not an entirely satisfying experience if it goes forever or they just tell me that their satisfaction doesn't matter. Now, I'm generally dating for companionship, too, not just sex. So this is just one part of the relationship. But it kinda sucks.

Anonymous wrote:1) Understand that he is one and done (without medical intervention)

2) he will feel luck to be dating a younger woman.

He could have different taste in music. Mid 80's is very different than late 90's....

(I am a 56 yo man.. I know my issues...)

Is this an issue for older women? I am getting divorced soon from a sexless marriage, and can't even fathom there are women out there that want to do it multiple times a week let alone a day. Don't tease me!

I do hear that second marriages have a ton of issues but sex isn't one of them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Understand that he is one and done (without medical intervention)

2) he will feel luck to be dating a younger woman.

He could have different taste in music. Mid 80's is very different than late 90's....

(I am a 56 yo man.. I know my issues...)

Speak for yourself. I can go for two to three on a lazy Sunday afternoon and twice after a night out. 53yo man.

I also disagree with you on music. It’s not like as you age you stop listening to new music. I’m the 53yo male and I was into music in the 90s and 00s etc. why would I stop enjoying contemporary music?

Anonymous wrote:1) Understand that he is one and done (without medical intervention)

2) he will feel luck to be dating a younger woman.

He could have different taste in music. Mid 80's is very different than late 90's....

(I am a 56 yo man.. I know my issues...)

Speak for yourself. I can go for two to three on a lazy Sunday afternoon and twice after a night out. 53yo man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It works well until he is somewhere between 70 and 75.

If you're going to dump a guy because he's 70 or 75, why is it worse for you to be 60 when you do it instead of 70?

You’re using a 5 year metric to ask a question of a proposed 15 year metric.

Anonymous wrote:He can get you into the grocery stores early. Go for it.