DH was shocked to find out I once danced on a bar when I went out with friends one time. Recently he patted the kitchen island and asked "Want to hop on up? Just for old times' sake?"

It's been a long time.

Mostly I miss being hot and admired, and the sense of possibilities just waiting for me. But these things would be gone because of age anyway so it's not like I would have still had them if I was 48 and childless.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I met later, so we had to have kids pretty quickly. I basically spent years being sad about being single, a short period of euphoria, then kids. I love them, but I really wish we’d had more couple time. Especially now. If the quarantine had come four years ago, life would have been perfect.

Except for people dying of course. -pp

DH and I met later, so we had to have kids pretty quickly. I basically spent years being sad about being single, a short period of euphoria, then kids. I love them, but I really wish we’d had more couple time. Especially now. If the quarantine had come four years ago, life would have been perfect.

I can't even really remember what we used to do!

I'm enjoying this stage of life, but one thing that was hard for me to get used to is being on a schedule.

We used to eat dinner any time between like 6 and 9 pm, and I'd figure it out like 10 minutes before I started cooking.

I have to be so much more organized now. It's not a bad thing per se, just a difference.

It makes me kind of sad to read all these posts about people who feel like they accomplished everything pre-kids. Like your life ended when you had kids and it became all about them. I love my kids more than anything but I’ve still got lots of life to live, with them and without. And yes, I traveled, lived abroad, graduate degree, successful career before kids came. I have amazing memories from that time and love reminiscing with friends and DH about past exploits. It would be fun to get a taste of that life now. And I look forward to getting to do more when little kids are bigger. It’s possible to love your life now and still miss some of your prior life.

We were married five years before we had kids and all I remember was a few two week trips to Europe. Our real memories began the day our first child was born.

I honestly don't miss life pre kids, but that's probably because I feel like I accomplished the goals I wanted to and we were never big partiers. I don't feel like I missed out on anything, and that's probably a huge reason for the satisfaction. I prefer life with the kids are their current ages to exhausting early years. We can travel, go out to nice restaurants, and do more active things as a family (well before covid-19).

DH and I traveled and partied for years before we had DS. So we have had our fun but I would be lying if I said I don’t still miss that carefree life.

We love spending time with DS so waiting until he gets a bit older and we can start traveling the world again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't have my child until I was 42, so basically had 20 years post college to do whatever the heck I wanted, I'm completely fine with that not being the case now.

Same here. I traveled the world and succeeded professionally. I really feel like I left nothing undone, and have embraced this new chapter with kids. There’s nothing I HAVE to do in retirement, because I already did it!

+2. been there, done that too. Great time and life is still good and easy because we are financially stable and just wanted one. After DC goes off to college, my plan is to convince DH to live in and really explore different countries 3-6 months at a time.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't have my child until I was 42, so basically had 20 years post college to do whatever the heck I wanted, I'm completely fine with that not being the case now.

Same here. I traveled the world and succeeded professionally. I really feel like I left nothing undone, and have embraced this new chapter with kids. There’s nothing I HAVE to do in retirement, because I already did it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my first at 25 and honestly life before kids was meaningless. I love being a parent, and will miss my kids when they leave.

Why the eyeroll? Surely you can accept that some people feel this way? Just as some people don't want kids and are perfectly happy childless?

PP here. I highly doubt that everything about her life was meaningless before she had kids. What about college? Career? Travel?

NP they were probably meaningful at the time, but now seem less important compared to raising children. Plus, not everybody went to college or traveled a lot before they got married, you know...

I graduated college at 21, finished my PhD and got married at 27, and had kids at 31 and 34. I'm 37 now and I definitely miss my old life sometimes. I was a pretty big partier (work hard play hard type) through college and grad school and there were some fun and crazy times. Sometimes I will hear a song that brings me back to that time, and I get sad thinking about how great it was to be young and carefree. Looking back, 24-28 were some of the best years of my life. I had more confidence than I did in college, went on some fun trips, was in great shape with great skin, and it felt like the world was my oyster.

Closer to 30 we did start to settle down with the partying. Hangovers started to get so much worse and it felt like it was time to move on to the next phase of life. I don't think I would be very happy if I were still childless at 37. I'm sure I would be more career-oriented (I basically mommy-tracked myself) and we would be doing a lot more traveling to cool places. But I would not be as fulfilled. Kids are such a blessing to our extended families, and I have met some great friends as a result of becoming a mom.

But damn if there aren't days I wish I could go back in time and be a twentysomething. Especially in times like these...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my first at 25 and honestly life before kids was meaningless. I love being a parent, and will miss my kids when they leave.

Why the eyeroll? Surely you can accept that some people feel this way? Just as some people don't want kids and are perfectly happy childless?

PP here. I highly doubt that everything about her life was meaningless before she had kids. What about college? Career? Travel?

We had a great life before kids! Living in Europe, going to graduate school, traveling the world. And we have a great life with our children and being settled in our home and careers. Both stages of our lives so far have been wonderful. We’re lucky.