Anonymous wrote:Long story short: my father has advanced primary progressive aphasia and the big changes in routine around COVID-19 have completely undone him. Out of nowhere and for the last 14 days, he’s started wandering, become extremely aggressive/threatening (including pulling a knife on my mother), stopped eating most meals, etc. He started medication less than a week ago, but has become so aggressive to my mother that we had him hospitalized and now are trying to direct transfer him into a nice memory care facility. The problem is, because he showed signs of aggression while at the hospital, a lot of the facilities won’t take him until he’s had time for his medication to take effect/for his dosages to become more accurate. Net, can anyone recommend a nice memory care facility that also can handle behavioral/psychiatric issues? All the ones we got recommended either have terrible reviews with allegations of abuse or they look like regular assisted living communities, which is far below the level of care he needs for now. Thank you!!

Unfortunately, this is how my step-dad with Alzheimers ended up dying. My mom called the police because my step-dad had trapped her in a room. They forcibly took him to the hospital, and then the ER gave him so many powerful drugs that they caused his kidneys to fail. After that, they said that keeping him on IV fluids to help his kidney was an extreme measure for someone with Alzheimers. Ugh.

This is OP...THANK YOU ALL for the thoughtful responses, it really means a lot to me. To answer some questions, the aggression does pre-date the beginning of medication by a couple days. We have ruled out stroke and did have him checked out for several days for acute things such as UTI, etc. As of yesterday, we had him transferred to a facility called Serenity Gardens. We liked Arden Courts, but until he ceases having any aggression issues, he can’t go there. He is being quarantined for two weeks, and one of the hardest parts of all this, is that we can’t visit until who knows when (it’s the right thing, but still hard). My mom is self-quarantining for two weeks now, but then we can be with her again.

BTW, we are in Maryland, but happy to travel if need be, to the best place, if in VA.

I just want to thank all of you again...I never imagined things would decline so rapidly over less than two weeks, and that we’d have the additional complication of the pandemic. Your thoughtful replies have given me hope and made me feel a lot of comfort.

A lot of facilities are not taking admissions right now. You might want to talk with the hospital social worker and get a list of those that are so you don't spend a lot of time chasing something that is not available.