Mine did that too. Sole breadwinner, used to say “who is going to believe YOU” with a gross sneer.

I still left.

I used to fantasize about him getting sucked out a plane window, but admit that since he’s a 45 year old drunk who smokes and chews slowly suffocating would be fine too.

And if you think that’s awful, you’ve never been abused.

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is so much better than death. Not that I've died before, but I can sleep for 8 hrs straight w/out my exH's loud ass snoring waking me throughout the night, I can cook what I want w/out his opinions and lastly, I don't have to walk on eggshells because he was always angry abt shit abt who knows what, and lastly, I don't have to wonder abt where he picked up those new sex positions and why this particular "co-worker" kept calling all the damn time. So yeah, get a divorce when this pandemic thing blows over. In the meantime, set-up a digital therapy session and call a suicidal hotline to tide you over. After your divorce is final, you'll be so glad you didn't die instead. There's so much more living to do.

I want all of this. I want it so bad. Problem is, my husband makes all of the money and I have access to 0 of it. Our agreement was that I finish school while I stay home with the kids when they're young. I still have 2 years left of my degree program before I can make a living wage (and even so, unless I am supremely lucky I will be living just above poverty line.)

Meanwhile, my husband has threatened to fight me for 100% custody if I so much as request temporary alimony to get on my feet. He knows he holds all of the cards and the money and I can't afford to fight him in court. He wants me to end up with nothing and no place to live so then I can't have my kids. Then he wins. He tells me all the time, and worse.

This is the saddest post on DCUM and I just came over from the lunatics in General Parenting. I’m sorry you feel this way, really. I hope you are having a better day today, OP.

Divorce is so much better than death. Not that I've died before, but I can sleep for 8 hrs straight w/out my exH's loud ass snoring waking me throughout the night, I can cook what I want w/out his opinions and lastly, I don't have to walk on eggshells because he was always angry abt shit abt who knows what, and lastly, I don't have to wonder abt where he picked up those new sex positions and why this particular "co-worker" kept calling all the damn time. So yeah, get a divorce when this pandemic thing blows over. In the meantime, set-up a digital therapy session and call a suicidal hotline to tide you over. After your divorce is final, you'll be so glad you didn't die instead. There's so much more living to do.

Get help. NOW. Even if it's just from an online therapist it's better than nothing.

And I'm going to be real with you- getting divorced is painful in the short term. But living in a bad marriage is a million times worse. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than live the loneliness of a bad marriage. It was hellish. There is a better life out there.

Rip the band-aid off and get out when conditions allow.

Anonymous wrote:YOu people need therapy. I don't say that in a snarky way. I am concerned for you. Please call a hotline or some type of telesupport. If you are suicidal or homicidal, you need professional help. Especially if you live with children and are their role models. Your misery is UNDOUBTEDLY impacting how you are raising them

Good luck

I agree that OP and others who feel like her need to seek help immediately. But leave the guilt about children out of it for now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds absolutely miserable but I feel like I would be okay dying very soon because I’m married to a roommate and my life kind of sucks and I feel trapped. I’m an acholholic maid. Shhh. Things you can only say on an anonymous board.

Uh no, but I wouldn't mind if someone else did.

Same. I'm married to an abusive asshole, though. So my dark thoughts involve the virus taking care of that problem for me. But sparing me and the kids. Of course it doesn't work that way so I just have to hope that none of us get it.

Meh, I was so stressed I had an anaphylactic reaction last weekend. EMS was on standby with epi-pen. I didn't want to go to the hospital, but they would have to take me. That would put me at greater risk for getting the virus. I knew it was a non-fatal reaction, but it sucked. I figured after all this BS, if it took me, then so be it.

But, I go when I say I go. Not that day.

OP. Please get professional help. For your childrens’ sake. Call a hotline or make an online appointment NOW with a psychiatrist or therapist. Good luck to you.

YOu people need therapy. I don't say that in a snarky way. I am concerned for you. Please call a hotline or some type of telesupport. If you are suicidal or homicidal, you need professional help. Especially if you live with children and are their role models. Your misery is UNDOUBTEDLY impacting how you are raising them

Good luck

I kind of wish my h would die. It would be tragic but he is going to inflict emotional damage on our kids as he has on me and it’s either this or I leave him. If he died then my kids could be sad that he died rather than sad because he is an asshole.