You need separate accounts. A lot easier to manage.

Anonymous wrote:

What if He ‘expires’ ? Do you know your financial position?? Because it would YOUR responsibility. Your situation is insane at so many levels I don’t know where to start. Tell him to come clean or get separate accounts

Let me put it this way. If he precedes me I have absolutely no idea what is set up for me. Zero! He has told me I’m going to be well taken care of and not to worry. That I shouldn’t be so negative and I shouldn’t doubt him. But for some reason I do doubt him and I believe the reason he WILL NOT show me any documents is because he does not have it set up that way. And of course any man with a brain would never want his wife to know this. Look at Paolina, Rick Ocaseks wife. She was devastated that he cut her out of his will and they were even separated at the time! Imagine being happily married and this happening?

I assume that you’re signing your tax return every year. You should be reviewing ALL related information before doing so. You're on the hook for any irregularities.

What if He ‘expires’ ? Do you know your financial position?? Because it would YOUR responsibility. Your situation is insane at so many levels I don’t know where to start. Tell him to come clean or get separate accounts

My DH was doing something similar. Kept telling me he I was his beneficiary, he had a multi million dollar life insurance policy, etc.

I maintain a folder file with my access details to my accounts in the event it is needed. Because of COVID, I demanded he provide the same to me.

Guess what he did last Sunday? Finally acknowledged me as his beneficiary on his 401k. He’s been lying to me. Sure, I would prob inherit it if he died intestate, but he never acknowledged me as his beneficiary.

This is why I never stopped working. I can always land on my two feet, But I’m here to make sure my child is provided for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insane.

Signed,
DH who has 90% of the $ but fully shares info w/ DW

This is the way it should be. I think the concern is that he doesn’t show anything when you ask. That is not trust issue and you need to know. It’s a concern.

Absolutely agree with you. But when I’ve voiced these concerns I’m accused of being untrusting and pessimistic.

Anonymous wrote:This is insane.

Signed,
DH who has 90% of the $ but fully shares info w/ DW

This is the way it should be. I think the concern is that he doesn’t show anything when you ask. That is not trust issue and you need to know. It’s a concern.

Anonymous wrote:This is insane.

Signed,
DH who has 90% of the $ but fully shares info w/ DW

Aww you’re a great guy!

This is insane.

Signed,
DH who has 90% of the $ but fully shares info w/ DW

This has got to be the one whose name is not on the deed to her house.

I'll tell you the same thing I told you in that thread:

Buy krugerrands.

If he were to pass away, god forbid, the last thing you'd want is to be surprised. Can you frame it as in case you get Covid, I need to know? Might that work?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you asked to look at bank statements or passwords to online accounts? What does he say if you ask to see these things for yourself?

Nope I haven’t seen anything. I don’t have privy. He gets very defensive if I ask so I don’t bother anymore.

You mean you’re not privy to the documents. Learn how to use the term correctly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you the same lady who was complaining you discovered the house your husband just bought is in his name only? I don't understand marriages like this.

Hmmm It depends. Are you the same lady who’s DH got upset when you wanted a threesome with a chimpanzee?

I'm not the poster you're responding to, but if this is supposed to be funny, you have failed. Go away and learn to be funny or at least a little witty.

Anonymous wrote:Are you the same lady who was complaining you discovered the house your husband just bought is in his name only? I don't understand marriages like this.

Hmmm It depends. Are you the same lady who’s DH got upset when you wanted a threesome with a chimpanzee?

I think some degree of trust is important. Do you want your husband asking to see every receipt if you say you bought shoes for x amount. Should he trust but verify by asking to see the paperwork?

Do you have any reason to think he isn't doing what he says?

We don't ask for paperwork to verify each others decisions but if it was more - how much are we investing or how much are we spending on clothes / groceries - we would sit down and look at it. But certainly each time a purchase or financial decision comes up in conversation, we don't ask for receipts.