^Turkey

You’d prefer to be a Syrian refugee on the Turkay border right now?

Or under Nazi bombing in WWII London?

This is a pandemic, OP. Forget your usual expectations and be glad you’re well-off, fed, safe and healthy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^^

Your attitude is dangerous. People are struggling whether they’re living in poverty or not. Our suicide rates are very high in the U.S. and telling those individuals they they should just be happy not to live in poverty is not helpful.

Maybe the message wasn’t delivered perfectly, but it works. I am UMC and was feeling down about this early on and then someone (IRL) gave me a similar wake-up call and I realized I was being silly and need to be extremely grateful for what I have.

Well who needs psychologists and psychiatrists?? Thanks for solving the mental health crisis.

Are you a stay at home mom? What do you suggest for two working parents with a toddler and preschooler? We’re not super human. Sometimes things need to be relaxed. DH can’t both work and entertain children all day.

^^^ here is the story of the Girl Scouts in the concentration camp:

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/559/captains-log/act-one

Anonymous wrote:Just tell her things have changed, that's life, and she needs to roll with it. To help her, here's a new schedule of how days will go while we're all at home.

She wants routine, so give it to her.

This.

There are these stories that keep sticking with me about Girl Scouts. One is about an camping trip in the middle of the tornado. The leaders moved the girls down to the basement, and started singing and having a camp out. As the winds grew louder, they sang louder, and when they heard crashing and breaking glass upstairs, they just sang louder. When it finally died down, they all went to sleep. In the morning, they found that the tornado had ripped away the main structure of the cabin they were staying in, and all that was left was the basement. But the girls weren’t scared. It had all just seemed to them like a camp out. Not one experienced acute stress symptoms.

Another is a story of Girl Scouts in a Chinese concentration camp during WW II. The Girl Scout leaders continued making the girls earn their badges, work together, be polite, have correct posture, and eat with proper table manners. The rules, structure, and orderliness imposed by the troop leaders kept the girls going even in an extreme situation.

I also think of Laura Ingalls, and how even though they were all alone on the prairie, their mother made them get dressed every morning and had a strict bedtime every night. Dishes and faces were washed, and social rules were imposed. In one part Laura complains that her mother makes her keep redoing her stitching because the stitches weren’t neat enough. Because somehow, in the middle of the prairie, miles away from anything, near stitches were still important.

Anyway, I feel like if they can do it, then I can do it. And as much as I feel like letting my kids do what they want and just trying to make them happy, what actually works is continued discipline, continued rules and structure, and continued high standards for their behavior. If your daughter wouldn’t normally be allowed to lay listlessly in front of the television, then it shouldn’t be allowed now.

Just tell her things have changed, that's life, and she needs to roll with it. To help her, here's a new schedule of how days will go while we're all at home.

She wants routine, so give it to her.

Anonymous wrote:^^^^

Your attitude is dangerous. People are struggling whether they’re living in poverty or not. Our suicide rates are very high in the U.S. and telling those individuals they they should just be happy not to live in poverty is not helpful.

Maybe the message wasn’t delivered perfectly, but it works. I am UMC and was feeling down about this early on and then someone (IRL) gave me a similar wake-up call and I realized I was being silly and need to be extremely grateful for what I have.

Stop looking at the news. It is a giant time suck and mood deflator.

I worry about this too.

Not every child is in a happy comfortable home with tv, Internet and all the food you can eat. Some kids relied on their schools for two meals of the day. Some kids live in extremely tense environments that will now be even more stressful as their parent/s struggle to cope. Some children handle social isolation better than others, and not every child has an interactive parent or siblings to help ease that burden. Some children were struggling with anxiety, depression or other mental illnesses before this pandemic began and this situation can easily exacerbate it - or interfere with their needed treatment plans.

It's absolutely concerning.

^^^^

Your attitude is dangerous. People are struggling whether they’re living in poverty or not. Our suicide rates are very high in the U.S. and telling those individuals they they should just be happy not to live in poverty is not helpful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids have survived pandemics and war zones for thousands of years.

That doesn’t mean their mental health wasn’t impacted.

+100

Talk about major childhood trauma - just take a look at the Syrian refugee camps, the ones throughout Africa, the immigration ones in Greece, etc. Heartbreaking.

And you think PTSD is just an adult thing.

How can begin to compare Syrian refugees in immigration camps with having to stay in your comfortable house with tv, Internet, all the food you can eat, and no fear of your house or neighborhood getting bombed. Maybe because I came from a poor country and now teach students who live in poverty and live in crowded conditions like one family renting one bedroom- not a one bedroom apartment- but one bedroom in an apartment I don't let my kids complain. I acknowledge the lies of not seeing friends and teachers but no whining about being stuck in a spacious home.

Op here - thanks for the suggestions. To top it off DD went to her first funeral right before the quarantine and we also had to cancel her birthday party due to corona virus. So it’s been a rough month. Also she hasn’t had a lot of time to adjust to her new sibling which has been another life change. It’s been a lot for a 5 year old!!

Anonymous wrote:My kid is siimilar. We set up an explicit and fun schedule. With lots of fun things my son like doing.

It's not easy, but it's doable and obviously necessary.

Keep in mind that you can still play in the back yard and go to an empty park without a playground.

Do you work?

It’s hard, OP. On you and your kids. I just wanted to validate your feelings. I’m there with you. Personally, we’ve done the yoga and outside time. That’s no cure for this kind of disruption. Maybe for some kids but definitely not all.