Anonymous wrote:I send cards to siblings and siblings in law. I also text the siblings in law and call my siblings. I don't think it's necessary though, but it's something I like to do. I try to pick out funny cards, so then we both get a laugh.

People still call for bdays? Lol pretty sure I just text friends and whatnot for bdays

Anonymous wrote:Do you give your BIL or SIL a birthday card?

If married do you give your siblings a birthday card just from you or do you sign it from you and your spouse?

It depends if they gave a card to DH and not me yes I would be offended because i would feel like they don't accept see me as a "real" member of the family. Now if they didn't give DH one either then no I wouldn't be offended

Anonymous wrote:Would you be offended if bil or SIL didn't get you a birthday card?



Would you be offended if your sibling never gave you a card or message just from them after marriage?

Would you be offended if you got a birthday card from just your sibling that wasn't signed by bil or SIL?

No, no, and no. God, people are easily offended these days.

Nope to all.

I send cards to siblings and siblings in law. I also text the siblings in law and call my siblings. I don't think it's necessary though, but it's something I like to do. I try to pick out funny cards, so then we both get a laugh.

We do cards and gifts on my side but it isn't expected, just nice and isn't all the time. Used to do this with BIL & his wife until they became so miserably toxic we are VLC:

The last interaction over bday cards, etc, was BIL's wife screaming at me about how the (several hundred dollars) we/I spent on a baby shower gift wasn't enough and how dare I not get a separate gift for each of her FIVE baby showers on top of the "private" gift.

They make decent money and were given several thousand dollars anyway on top of gifts and 8 peoples' worth of hand-me-downs. Yes, BIL's wife has a history of being greedy.

Fwiw, we had a medical emergency and our income/savings was pretty tight at that point on top of just graduating university so it was quite a stretch for us on top of taking a week off, driving 6h/way to hand deliver and provide care for them.

We spent a week providing 24/7 free child care for them the second week after she came home even though BIL was also home. That ended with her telling me I was useless and a horrible SIL (?) over the not enough gifts thing and that she didn't like the birthday gift we'd gotten her. She was also mad I didn't lend her our extend family's lake home for a babymoon.

Either way, it was extremely rude and entitled. Nobody should be shouting at someone over how they are not just OWED gifts but are owed hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of gifts.

I gave up. No more gifts or cards. Before, she would only give one if it allowed her to play up what a good family member she was in front of extended family.

I think this is something you do only if you generally have a good and genuinely close relationship or if it is very superficial and bean-counting. In general, a text or call is fine.

We send texts--that's about it. We all live close to one another so from time to time, we might get together for dinner or drinks but usually at one of our houses. No gifts.

I don't buy cards for anyone other than my mother. Total waste of money.

Anonymous wrote:I text and call my siblings. Husband text or calls his.

Not offended at all if in laws don’t text or send me a card.

Same here.

No cards for anyone, ever, except sympathy cards or cards for graduations so I can slip in a check.


I used to work at Hallmark and it impressed on me how much of a waste of money greeting cards are.

We also do texts - sibling to sibling.