Anonymous
Post 03/09/2020 09:38     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you should have a will already. Not because of a virus. Second, no kids don?t automatically go to foster care. That is a last resort. If there are relatives who are able to care for a child, kid will go there first. Seriously people, who doesn?t make a will when you have a child?


We don't have anyone. MIL is bipolar and refuses to medicate, FIL is married with an alcoholic woman who still drinks and drives and does drugs despite DUIs, SIL brings random guys to live with her and her kids after dating them for 1-2 weeks, ex-h also in and out and on opioids. FIL has dogs who bit my DC2's face and refuses to even lock them when we visit. My parents are old and abroad, my brother's son is autistic and my SIL is overwhelmed with his care.


So pick a friend.


This was the plan, however my H refuses all my proposed choices. The family I'm closest with are super strong antivaxx and circumspect of modern medicine, so he nixed that one. From his side, the families that are interested in taking care of our kids are Trump supporters and gun owners, so he's not comfortable with them either. My other three closest friends are single and childless.


Well I guess you and hubby better not die at the same time.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2020 09:36     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you should have a will already. Not because of a virus. Second, no kids don?t automatically go to foster care. That is a last resort. If there are relatives who are able to care for a child, kid will go there first. Seriously people, who doesn?t make a will when you have a child?


We don't have anyone. MIL is bipolar and refuses to medicate, FIL is married with an alcoholic woman who still drinks and drives and does drugs despite DUIs, SIL brings random guys to live with her and her kids after dating them for 1-2 weeks, ex-h also in and out and on opioids. FIL has dogs who bit my DC2's face and refuses to even lock them when we visit. My parents are old and abroad, my brother's son is autistic and my SIL is overwhelmed with his care.


So pick a friend.


This was the plan, however my H refuses all my proposed choices. The family I'm closest with are super strong antivaxx and circumspect of modern medicine, so he nixed that one. From his side, the families that are interested in taking care of our kids are Trump supporters and gun owners, so he's not comfortable with them either. My other three closest friends are single and childless.


Single and childless could still be a good option.

I have a single and childless friend who I picked over family.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2020 09:35     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Anonymous wrote:Have someone listed in your will to become their guardian.


This, and make sure that persons knows and has a copy of your will.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2020 09:34     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Legal Zoom will do a simple will for like $90. Good luck and good health to you both.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2020 09:27     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you should have a will already. Not because of a virus. Second, no kids don?t automatically go to foster care. That is a last resort. If there are relatives who are able to care for a child, kid will go there first. Seriously people, who doesn?t make a will when you have a child?


We don't have anyone. MIL is bipolar and refuses to medicate, FIL is married with an alcoholic woman who still drinks and drives and does drugs despite DUIs, SIL brings random guys to live with her and her kids after dating them for 1-2 weeks, ex-h also in and out and on opioids. FIL has dogs who bit my DC2's face and refuses to even lock them when we visit. My parents are old and abroad, my brother's son is autistic and my SIL is overwhelmed with his care.


So pick a friend.


This was the plan, however my H refuses all my proposed choices. The family I'm closest with are super strong antivaxx and circumspect of modern medicine, so he nixed that one. From his side, the families that are interested in taking care of our kids are Trump supporters and gun owners, so he's not comfortable with them either. My other three closest friends are single and childless.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2020 21:53     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you should have a will already. Not because of a virus. Second, no kids don’t automatically go to foster care. That is a last resort. If there are relatives who are able to care for a child, kid will go there first. Seriously people, who doesn’t make a will when you have a child?


We don't have anyone. MIL is bipolar and refuses to medicate, FIL is married with an alcoholic woman who still drinks and drives and does drugs despite DUIs, SIL brings random guys to live with her and her kids after dating them for 1-2 weeks, ex-h also in and out and on opioids. FIL has dogs who bit my DC2's face and refuses to even lock them when we visit. My parents are old and abroad, my brother's son is autistic and my SIL is overwhelmed with his care.


So pick a friend.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2020 21:24     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Some passing discussion from Consumer Reports about online will/estate planning options.

https://www.consumerreports.org/cro/estate-planning/essential-steps-for-estate-planning
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2020 21:08     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Please create even a basic will. My friend passed away without a will and it was a nightmare. You have to go through so many extra steps for everything. There was no partner and only minor children. It was complicated even though legally it sounds straight forward. It took two years, thousands of pieces of paperwork and hundreds of hours to fully complete the execution of the estate.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2020 21:06     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Anonymous wrote:OP you should have a will already. Not because of a virus. Second, no kids don’t automatically go to foster care. That is a last resort. If there are relatives who are able to care for a child, kid will go there first. Seriously people, who doesn’t make a will when you have a child?


We don't have anyone. MIL is bipolar and refuses to medicate, FIL is married with an alcoholic woman who still drinks and drives and does drugs despite DUIs, SIL brings random guys to live with her and her kids after dating them for 1-2 weeks, ex-h also in and out and on opioids. FIL has dogs who bit my DC2's face and refuses to even lock them when we visit. My parents are old and abroad, my brother's son is autistic and my SIL is overwhelmed with his care.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2020 20:59     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:With corona hitting the area and two parents with conditions that put them at higher risk of catching it, I want to take precautions and make sure everything is in order should we both die. I heard that children automatically go into foster care, versus going to live with relatives, unless there is a will stating who should take them in. Does anyone on here know what might suffice using document templates printed from the web, without having to make an appointment with a lawyer? And what do you do with the document so the right people know what to do?

Your info is wrong. CPS will first try to find any relative to take in the kids.

You should still have a will though.


Depends on the CPS. We had a family member leave us their young child when she passed. Someone else worked out a deal with CPS and took the child. We fought it in the courts and lost.

That's a different situation from what the OP is talking about.

Was this person also a family member?

I have volunteered with CPS in two states. If two parents pass away, the first thing that would happen in both states is the agency would try to find a relative.


Nope, complete stranger. We were the relatives.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2020 20:52     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you should have a will already. Not because of a virus. Second, no kids don’t automatically go to foster care. That is a last resort. If there are relatives who are able to care for a child, kid will go there first. Seriously people, who doesn’t make a will when you have a child?


We have two children and no will. Not everyone has the money to just throw at a lawyer. I get that it’s smart to have one but it’s also extremely unlikely that it will be put to use and lots of people need to weigh the odds rather than give a $1000 to a lawyer. (Or even $300, which is the low-end.)


There are online options. If your assets are simple, you don’t need a lawyer. [/quote

Can you recommend an online option?
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2020 20:48     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Anonymous wrote:Why do I need a will? Honest question. If we both die, assets will go to our kids right? And if they are minors, a family member would have rights...right?! We trust all our parents and siblings to do the right thing/best they can.


It’s irresponsible to have kids and not have a will. You need to decide ahead of time who would have custody of your kids if you died, and have that conversation with those people ahead of time to ensure they are on board with it. You and your spouse may not even agree on whose family members would be best suited to raising your kids and how—it’s a conversation you have to have ahead of time. Don’t just expect that family will do the right thing when the time comes or won’t fight over kids. If you don’t decide Ahead of time and pass away unexpectedly, a random judge will be deciding where your kids go for you. It’s really not that hard to get a cheap will. You can do it online. Or if you have access to a legal resource benefit at work, pay for the service for a year and then get a will done. You owe it to your children.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2020 20:14     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

I definitely don’t have a will. I had a consult and was told it would be about $2500. Nope.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2020 20:14     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Why do I need a will? Honest question. If we both die, assets will go to our kids right? And if they are minors, a family member would have rights...right?! We trust all our parents and siblings to do the right thing/best they can.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2020 20:10     Subject: What paperwork is needed to ensure child doesn't go into foster care if both parents die

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you should have a will already. Not because of a virus. Second, no kids don’t automatically go to foster care. That is a last resort. If there are relatives who are able to care for a child, kid will go there first. Seriously people, who doesn’t make a will when you have a child?


We have two children and no will. Not everyone has the money to just throw at a lawyer. I get that it’s smart to have one but it’s also extremely unlikely that it will be put to use and lots of people need to weigh the odds rather than give a $1000 to a lawyer. (Or even $300, which is the low-end.)


There are online options. If your assets are simple, you don’t need a lawyer.