When I have the baby in a carrier, my toddler will sometimes ask me where the baby is. It’s like he thinks he has me all to myself, and the baby is happy, so it’s win win. Get a carrier you like and use it a lot.
Also my toddler loves when I talk to the baby about him. “Look baby, your big brother is washing his hands! You’re too small to do that yet. Next he’s going to put away his toys! Wow! You’re too little to do that too.”

Anonymous wrote:I do not agree with the suggestion to potty train. I did this and my oldest completely backtracked when the baby was born, and dealing with that was worse than if I just waited until she was ready. Go by your child's needs - if she is ready, train. But if she isn't, don't push it just so it is easier on you.

My husband worked long hours too and we had no grandparents to help. We hired a mother's helper in the evening to help with dinner prep/clean up, bath and bedtime. It wasn't every day but it was a life saver those evenings she came.

Bathe the kids together when you can. Plop the infant bath seat into the main tub and have a nice leisurely time playing in the water.

Keep meals simple and go easy on yourself that first year. It is hectic but so much fun too.

Potty training out of the way saved me! I would put DS in soft elastic waist pants and no underwear so he could go pee by himself. Plus it made such a difference between he, the big boy, and the baby. I also didn’t want to deal with potty training when the youngest was mobile.

It worked for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby wearing. Embrace TV. When your toddler is driving you insane (I mean truly insane, in a way you might not be familiar with yet), try your best to put yourself in her shoes and remember how hard this is for her. Make a meal plan of easy meals.

Not TV. The baby shouldn’t see screens and TV is a bad solution that can’t be sustained.

Shouldn't see the screens? Bless.

The PP gave excellent, empathetic and realistic advice but sure, let's gain a false sense of control by banishing screens.

--
I just came to this thread to say hi to all the fellow 41 year old moms with young kids.

I disagree. If anything the birth of a second child delays in the introduction of screens for another two years (if you follow the AAP guidelines).

I'm not saying you should plop the baby in front of a screen but it's inevitable that the baby will see one...

Of course, but the ATM screen or football game on in a restaurant is very different than a TV show aimed at kids. I wouldn’t (and didn’t) use TV as a babysitter when my second was born.

+1 Non-incidental TV and tablet exposure is so avoidable.

I do not agree with the suggestion to potty train. I did this and my oldest completely backtracked when the baby was born, and dealing with that was worse than if I just waited until she was ready. Go by your child's needs - if she is ready, train. But if she isn't, don't push it just so it is easier on you.

My husband worked long hours too and we had no grandparents to help. We hired a mother's helper in the evening to help with dinner prep/clean up, bath and bedtime. It wasn't every day but it was a life saver those evenings she came.

Bathe the kids together when you can. Plop the infant bath seat into the main tub and have a nice leisurely time playing in the water.

Keep meals simple and go easy on yourself that first year. It is hectic but so much fun too.

Ok, sometimes you just need to put the baby down for a nap and you need something that will hold the toddlers attention where he or she won’t keep popping into baby’s room and getting them riled up. iPad it is! Embrace it. You don’t need to go overboard, we set a 10 or 15 min timer, but god it is a life saver sometimes. I often do bed time solo with my 8 mo old and 2.5 yr old. When baby was first born, my oldest wanted to be like glue to my side suddenly. I would stick him in his crib with books while i pit baby down but he would freak out. iPad was the go to.

It’s not like anyone is saying use the tv as a babysitter but it comes in handy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby wearing. Embrace TV. When your toddler is driving you insane (I mean truly insane, in a way you might not be familiar with yet), try your best to put yourself in her shoes and remember how hard this is for her. Make a meal plan of easy meals.

Not TV. The baby shouldn’t see screens and TV is a bad solution that can’t be sustained.

Shouldn't see the screens? Bless.

The PP gave excellent, empathetic and realistic advice but sure, let's gain a false sense of control by banishing screens.

--
I just came to this thread to say hi to all the fellow 41 year old moms with young kids.

I disagree. If anything the birth of a second child delays in the introduction of screens for another two years (if you follow the AAP guidelines).

I'm not saying you should plop the baby in front of a screen but it's inevitable that the baby will see one...

Of course, but the ATM screen or football game on in a restaurant is very different than a TV show aimed at kids. I wouldn’t (and didn’t) use TV as a babysitter when my second was born.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby wearing. Embrace TV. When your toddler is driving you insane (I mean truly insane, in a way you might not be familiar with yet), try your best to put yourself in her shoes and remember how hard this is for her. Make a meal plan of easy meals.

Not TV. The baby shouldn’t see screens and TV is a bad solution that can’t be sustained.

Shouldn't see the screens? Bless.

The PP gave excellent, empathetic and realistic advice but sure, let's gain a false sense of control by banishing screens.

--
I just came to this thread to say hi to all the fellow 41 year old moms with young kids.

I disagree. If anything the birth of a second child delays in the introduction of screens for another two years (if you follow the AAP guidelines).

I'm not saying you should plop the baby in front of a screen but it's inevitable that the baby will see one...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m suddenly petrified of having my second child as my first will have just turned two-years-old. I’m 41 so it’s not like I could have spaced them out more and this second baby is very wanted.

I SAH. My DS won’t start school for at least a year after #2 is born and then only two hours in the afternoon. Putting him in daycare or longer preschool is not an option. My mom will help for the first four months but then she’ll have to leave. DH is great (does all cooking and most cleaning) but works long hours.

Any advice is welcome (except putting DS is daycare). Any book suggestions too.

Thank you. I’m hormonal and suddenly freaked!

Millions of women have managed very well with thevssm or more children and so can you. Grow up.

Shut up.

Anonymous wrote:I’m suddenly petrified of having my second child as my first will have just turned two-years-old. I’m 41 so it’s not like I could have spaced them out more and this second baby is very wanted.

I SAH. My DS won’t start school for at least a year after #2 is born and then only two hours in the afternoon. Putting him in daycare or longer preschool is not an option. My mom will help for the first four months but then she’ll have to leave. DH is great (does all cooking and most cleaning) but works long hours.

Any advice is welcome (except putting DS is daycare). Any book suggestions too.

Thank you. I’m hormonal and suddenly freaked!

Millions of women have managed very well with thevssm or more children and so can you. Grow up.

My second baby had colic and was a terrible sleeper- the first year was really tough. I think DH and I had sex like maybe 10 times that whole year- I was so exhausted all the time. We didn’t use too much tv but my older DC definitely got 30 mins to an hour of TV a day- maybe that’s too much and it’s more than she gets now but we were just getting through it.

BUT- after a year it got easier, and after 2 years it’s been a dream. They are 5 and 3 and so, so close- they keep themselves entertained in our playroom for hours. I love their sweet little relationship and they are best friends. They have separate bedrooms but end up sleeping in each other’s beds most of the time.

It’s the best- I am so glad they have each other and that they are close in age.

It took me a while to bounce back from my second pregnancy, too- with my first I was still able to exercise and I was down to pre baby shape by about 4 months postpartum. It took me two years to really get into an exercise routine and my eating was horrible- again, we were just surviving. If you can manage exercise/healthy eating good for you, but it’s also ok to take more time. I finally got down to pre-baby weight and shape and I’m pregnant again, so we will see how it goes!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby wearing. Embrace TV. When your toddler is driving you insane (I mean truly insane, in a way you might not be familiar with yet), try your best to put yourself in her shoes and remember how hard this is for her. Make a meal plan of easy meals.

Not TV. The baby shouldn’t see screens and TV is a bad solution that can’t be sustained.

Shouldn't see the screens? Bless.

The PP gave excellent, empathetic and realistic advice but sure, let's gain a false sense of control by banishing screens.

--
I just came to this thread to say hi to all the fellow 41 year old moms with young kids.

I disagree. If anything the birth of a second child delays in the introduction of screens for another two years (if you follow the AAP guidelines).

Anonymous wrote:Baby wearing. Embrace TV. When your toddler is driving you insane (I mean truly insane, in a way you might not be familiar with yet), try your best to put yourself in her shoes and remember how hard this is for her. Make a meal plan of easy meals.

I'm in a similar situation but the other side, having a baby that is a few weeks old and an almost 2 year old. Oldest is in daycare since I am on maternity leave but it is still really tough. But having 2 people at home forn 4 mo will make it not too bad. Have your mom hold baby when you aren't breastfeeding (or have her do bottles if you are doing formula). Is dh takinf time off? If you have a c section or complications, or even just have to manage infant and lactation appoitnments, then first few weeks are rough you msy need him to help take care of you

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby wearing. Embrace TV. When your toddler is driving you insane (I mean truly insane, in a way you might not be familiar with yet), try your best to put yourself in her shoes and remember how hard this is for her. Make a meal plan of easy meals.

Not TV. The baby shouldn’t see screens and TV is a bad solution that can’t be sustained.

Shouldn't see the screens? Bless.

The PP gave excellent, empathetic and realistic advice but sure, let's gain a false sense of control by banishing screens.

--
I just came to this thread to say hi to all the fellow 41 year old moms with young kids.

Anonymous wrote:Baby wearing. Embrace TV. When your toddler is driving you insane (I mean truly insane, in a way you might not be familiar with yet), try your best to put yourself in her shoes and remember how hard this is for her. Make a meal plan of easy meals.

Not TV. The baby shouldn’t see screens and TV is a bad solution that can’t be sustained.