For some reason people often tell me I look lke I've lost weight or ask if I have. I never have, and I'm not overweight to begin with. I think maybe they remember me heavier or think it's a compliment--who knows? I think it's best to stick with generic "you look great" type things. I do tend to do an internal when people as me about weightloss since I've been 68" and 140lbs for the last 20 yrs.

I lost a large amount of weight and very few of the people I'm closest with ever mentioned it unless I brought it up. For example, I would go out with my girl friends and mention I was only going to have one glass of wine because I've really been trying to watch what I eat and they would all comment on how great I looked and how they could see a change in my face etc. They would have never said that on their own. I would get more random comments from people I wasn't really friends with but would just see occasionally.

Anonymous wrote:OMG. We mention your weight, you get pissed. We don't mention your weight, you get pissed.

This. People notice but have been conditioned mostly not to comment.

I never comment on people's appearances. Ever.

I never comment on people's weight or bodies, especially at work. Just too much that can go wrong there.

The only thing I do in any professional setting is say "Your haircut looks great" if it is a new hairstyle on a much older woman where there would be no mistake of it being flirty. I'm old enough now that there aren't many left to fit that description.

That said, 20 years ago, I lost 30 pounds of post-college beer and burger weight and it really was encouraging to receive a few compliments along the way.

I usually say "You look fantastic" and leave it at that. It's always been appreciated.

you can TELL when it's unhappy/unhealthy weight loss. Social cues, people.

I agree with all of the above. i think some people just don't notice, I also think people don't know whether or not they should say something. I lost weight last year and very few people said anything to me. It felt good to know that some people did notice, but also really awkward when they commented. It really is a fine line.

Congrats on the weight loss! I am sure you look and feel incredible!

sometimes I don’t comment on weight loss because I don’t people to think I thought they didn’t look good before or whatever. I usually try not to comment on people’s body size in general.

We’ve created a culture that encourages keeping your mouth shut. About anything regarding appearances.
If you’re in my office I won’t say anything about your appearance unless you have a fork sticking out of your forehead...and maybe not even then

Personally, I HATE people commenting on my weight loss. It makes me self-conscious and is an implicit criticism of my shape before. It’s my business and I don’t want comments on my body. It’s not virtue or doing good in the world and it’s no one else’s business. If you feel better or look better to yourself, why isn’t that enough?

I’ve also lost 30 pounds. Only one person has commented. I have no idea if people haven’t noticed or just aren’t saying anything. For the most part, I am glad no one is commenting (except my mom- I am surprised she hasn’t noticed).

And this is why you must lose the weight first and foremost for YOURSELF! Be proud of yourself! Enjoy feeling good! You go!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG. We mention your weight, you get pissed. We don't mention your weight, you get pissed.

I guess you make a good point. Though I don’t think you can ever offend a person by telling them they look like they’ve lost weight when you know they used to be heavier.

Oh, yes, you can! And no sane person is going to risk offending you.

But congratulations!

I always worry about mentioning weight, too. Plus I’m pretty Unobservant (good news there is I’m not really noticing your weight gain, either). I’m sorry, OP. You’re obviously doing a great job, though. Be proud of yourself.