Anonymous wrote:Admit it, you’re happy to risk your DD’s safety for the sake of free childcare.

OP here. Not really. That’s why I’m asking here because I would rather not use MIL to pick DD up so I’m biased on the topic. MIL complains she doesn’t get to be part of DD life and DH asks her tondo school pick up so she’s not lonely and has something to do.

Admit it, you’re happy to risk your DD’s safety for the sake of free childcare.

My 84 year old mom just took and passed AARP sponsored driving course...kind of a behind the wheel refresher and she did amazingly well. Her vision is better than mine. She no longer does road trips or ventures very far, but she safely gets to the grocery store and out to see friends.

Please find someone else to pick up your daughter. I have a 65 year old neighbor who is a fine driver and he often picks my kids up at school when I'm not available. His grandkids don't live nearby so he is happy to be a chauffeur and my kids love it.

If your 10 year old noticed a problem listen to her.....please.

My mother had an early loss of peripheral vision, due to a chronic health condition, and knows very well she cannot drive!

This is a no-brainer, OP. You need to find other pick-up options for your daughter.

Anonymous wrote:I obviously don’t know your dd, but I’d be extremely concerned if MIL’s driving is so bad a 10 year old noticed. IME, they’re pretty oblivious to driving unless something happens.

+100

You can decide after your daughter ends up in the hospital, if you’re good with that.

Here's some information about how to talk about older adults about limiting or stopping their driving:
https://www.aarp.org/auto/driver-safety/we-need-to-talk/

Also, AARP also has in person smart driver courses that can help an older person refresh their driving skills.

This is textbook for aging drivers. My dad had to give up his license due to early stage dementia. The doctors explained that it wasn't so much a question of his mental competence - he was nowhere near forgetting where he was, especially since he was only driving in hometown. But driving requires a ton of multitasking that is typically intuitive - you turn your head as you merge, you instinctively hit the brakes as you hear a horn. And as you age, a lot of that multitasking is harder, sometimes for physical reasons (you can't turn or hear as easily) and sometimes for mental reasons. And sometimes both.

Get your MIL off the road, not just for your DD but for all of us.

Anonymous wrote:How selfish and traumatic for her to be ignored, when she is advocating for her own safety.

1,000% this.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. In MIL's defense she hasn't had any accidents that I know of.

Yes, and? She can't see and is often surprised. This is an accident waiting to happen. I would never subject my daughter to a known, likely danger.

"To the oven's credit, it has never actually started a fire when we left it on overnight."

I obviously don’t know your dd, but I’d be extremely concerned if MIL’s driving is so bad a 10 year old noticed. IME, they’re pretty oblivious to driving unless something happens.

Why don’t you go out in driving with MIL where she drives and you are in the front passenger seat?

How selfish and traumatic for her to be ignored, when she is advocating for her own safety.