Anonymous wrote:I tell my 4 year old not to bother me while I’m cooking or cleaning all of the time? “Go play with your toys and I’ll play with you when I’m done.” Sometimes she starts bothering me after 45 minutes, sometimes she can play for 2-3 hours. Can other kids really not play independently like that? How do you get anything done?

No, that's not typical. You are fortunate! How do we get anything done? Playdates to provide a playmate, screen time, babysitter, do things with "help" from the kid, do things in 10 minute intervals, hire out tasks, or forgo them completely.

When the youngest is 4 or 5, you can probably leave the room for a few minutes or more and not regret it.

I remember once when I was sick as a dog after catching my daughter's virus/cold/flu/plague/whatever. She was healthy again, and very energetic, maybe 3 years old. I passed out cold on the couch and woke up maybe 30 minutes later, completely covered in naked dolls. I have no idea why they were naked or why she had piled them all on me. It was surreal and completely hilarious, and I wish I had a videotape of her doing this.

3 for one of mine, the other one is now 11 and still needs attention all the time.

I tell my 4 year old not to bother me while I’m cooking or cleaning all of the time? “Go play with your toys and I’ll play with you when I’m done.” Sometimes she starts bothering me after 45 minutes, sometimes she can play for 2-3 hours. Can other kids really not play independently like that? How do you get anything done?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is 13 and he still interrupts me when I'm working to tell me more about the Astros cheating scandal.

But by the time my kids were about 7/9 I could count on them to entertain themselves when I really needed to focus.

By 3 they didn't need to be watched all the time.

I was going to say the same - my 13 year old still wants snacks that apparently taste better when I prepare them, wants to me to go shoot hoops, wants me to fish money out of my wallet so he can go buy sweedish fish at the grocery store. He latest is coming up and saying "Mom, would it be too much to ask..."

I was thinking the same thing. Mine are 8 and 11, and I wouldn’t plan to cook a complicated meal that required exact timing while they are home. They still want help with their homework, need me to sit with them to practice the piano or the baritone, fight, want to talk, show me something, play a board game, or get a ride here, there, and everywhere.
If I really sat them down and told them not to bother me though, then they could entertain themselves.

When he started playing video games at 5.5, he could be sucked in for hours if we let him. It was the first thing that ever held his attention for longer than 10 or 15 minutes without him begging for mommy or daddy to play with him.

At 3ish I could put on the tv or a movie and get maybe an hour. The issue with him isn't that he wanders off and causes problems like playing in the toilet or breaking into whatever. The issue is he likes to be in the middle of the action so he won't stay down there (without the tv) and wanders up to where I am and messes everything up (like taking stuff I was reorganizing and putting it elsewhere or unfolding the laundry I just folded etc).

Two hours to really concentrate without being disturbed? When they went to college! Seriously, until they were six or seven I’d be checking on them every 15-20 minutes.

/\ TBH it's probably easier with one kid. They can do their own thing without another kid disrupting their concentration.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3.5-4 mine started playing independently for an hour or more. BUT, not on command. So, if she was engaged in something, I could sneak away and leave her, but I couldn't necessarily tell her to go entertain herself for the next hour. But that's what movies are for anyways, right?

Yes this. My kids are 3 and 5 and can get very involved in play together, for awhile. But it's almost never on a schedule haha. Most often: right before bedtime!

Same except I have an only, so it's just her getting focused on what she's doing. I saw a BIG jump in imaginative, pretend play around her 4th birthday, so I think that's the biggest part. She had enough imagination to create who worlds she could get immersed in.

If my 5 and 8 year old are home, they may (but may not) play with the 3 year old and then I can get up to an hour of time with minor interruptions. Or there could be a ginormous battle of the wills and I spent all the time parenting. It's a dice roll. Even if they are playing together nicely or even watching a movie I can't imagine getting 2 straight uninterrupted hours. That's what other adults (spouse, babysitter, grandparents, etc.) are for.

If it's just the 3 year old and I, sometimes she "helps" as I do things, or plays nicely (and she was not the color for 20 minutes type of 1 or 2 year old) nearby for maybe 15 or 20 minutes before she starts asking to play Candyland.

Anonymous wrote:3.5-4 mine started playing independently for an hour or more. BUT, not on command. So, if she was engaged in something, I could sneak away and leave her, but I couldn't necessarily tell her to go entertain herself for the next hour. But that's what movies are for anyways, right?

Yes this. My kids are 3 and 5 and can get very involved in play together, for awhile. But it's almost never on a schedule haha. Most often: right before bedtime!

I have 3 and 6 year olds and if I put them in their rooms to play while I do something else, I can maybe get an hour with a couple brief interruptions, but after an hour, they will be ready to do something else. Uninterrupted, I can probably get 15-20 minutes.

If it's just my 6 year old and she has a new lego set or something, I could get more time, but she would still interrupt me for help on something occasionally.