Anonymous
Post 02/21/2020 12:41     Subject: How do you and your spouse settle black / white parenting disagreements

If it's a safety concern that is at least somewhat rational, the person with the concern prevails. Grandma's feelings are not worth a kid getting hurt.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 17:22     Subject: How do you and your spouse settle black / white parenting disagreements

We arm wrestle.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 15:53     Subject: How do you and your spouse settle black / white parenting disagreements

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:going fishing for example, Op?


yep but i am trying to be balanced. i can't just insist that my husband can't do xyz with our child, i want to have a framework for how we make decisions when we disagree that's not "i'm mom and i won't allow this b/c i'm the mom"


That only works if you husband has no backbone and is totally whipped. Not all men are wallflowers when it comes to parenting.


Meh. If either parent is uncomfortable with an activity - especially if there’s a safety concern - the veto wins. And the younger the child, the more weight should be given to the veto.

Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 15:45     Subject: How do you and your spouse settle black / white parenting disagreements

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:going fishing for example, Op?


yep but i am trying to be balanced. i can't just insist that my husband can't do xyz with our child, i want to have a framework for how we make decisions when we disagree that's not "i'm mom and i won't allow this b/c i'm the mom"


That only works if you husband has no backbone and is totally whipped. Not all men are wallflowers when it comes to parenting.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 15:36     Subject: How do you and your spouse settle black / white parenting disagreements

One no makes it a no.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 15:08     Subject: How do you and your spouse settle black / white parenting disagreements

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:going fishing for example, Op?


yep but i am trying to be balanced. i can't just insist that my husband can't do xyz with our child, i want to have a framework for how we make decisions when we disagree that's not "i'm mom and i won't allow this b/c i'm the mom"


This is how I handle it.
I never really thought about it in this way, but yes. DH would ask me if something like this was ok, and I would say yes or no. I wouldn’t ask him. I would just do it.


haha sadly dh has not ceded all control to me (i say that tongue in cheek) and i don't want to turn things into a power struggle of me trying to insist i get my way just because b/c then it seems a bit hypocritical to expect him to be an equally engaged parent while not having an equal vote
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 15:01     Subject: How do you and your spouse settle black / white parenting disagreements

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:going fishing for example, Op?


yep but i am trying to be balanced. i can't just insist that my husband can't do xyz with our child, i want to have a framework for how we make decisions when we disagree that's not "i'm mom and i won't allow this b/c i'm the mom"


This is how I handle it.
I never really thought about it in this way, but yes. DH would ask me if something like this was ok, and I would say yes or no. I wouldn’t ask him. I would just do it.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 14:52     Subject: How do you and your spouse settle black / white parenting disagreements

Anonymous wrote:going fishing for example, Op?


yep but i am trying to be balanced. i can't just insist that my husband can't do xyz with our child, i want to have a framework for how we make decisions when we disagree that's not "i'm mom and i won't allow this b/c i'm the mom"