You don’t bring it up to her , you encourage more fruits and veggies and limit junk. And do exercise as a family and model making healthy choices.

I’m the person who recommended a second opinion. I have been to a doctor who made a big deal of my weight, and then I went to a different one who didn’t say anything. My BMI is 24, my bloodwork is good, I do my best to be active. The first doctor was just looking for a problem where there was none.

In terms of pediatricians they are supposed to look at a chart and see if BMI has been stable. Some don’t. Doctors aren’t perfect. A second opinion is no big deal.

Anonymous wrote:Even with all their good intentions, I have never seen a parent try to get their kid to have a “healthier” weight without it backfiring. The kid just gets a complex and their eating habits get worse.

I had a pot belly at that age and my mom parents made comments about it. Later my figure kind of morphed into a traditionally attractive one and I have the same figure today but my parents words will not go away and I feel like I’ll have body insecurity forever.

There have been several posts about this subject and the modern approach to overweight or obese children seems to be to increase fruits and veggies first before the rest of the meal is eaten.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

Oh sorry I didn’t see that the pediatrician said something

Honestly I would consider a different pediatrician. A pot belly sounds totally normal. If two say there is an issue, okay. But even then, be so careful about encouraging her to focus on weight in any way at all. Dieting leads to weight gain and I’m guessing that’s the last thing you want.

Better to be fat than sad, according to you.

Children's weight is something that parents can affect. When a pediatrician brings it up, then listen. Don't dump the doctor and find a different one.

Yes it’s better to be fat than sad. And it’s called getting a second opinion, people do it all the time.

Forty percent of adults are obese and an additional 30% are overweight. Twenty percent of children are obese.

Why do you assume that the doctor was wrong to notice the child's weight or weight gain? It's a very touchy subject and many doctors will ignore overweight/obesity. Few will point it out incorrectly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

Oh sorry I didn’t see that the pediatrician said something

Honestly I would consider a different pediatrician. A pot belly sounds totally normal. If two say there is an issue, okay. But even then, be so careful about encouraging her to focus on weight in any way at all. Dieting leads to weight gain and I’m guessing that’s the last thing you want.

The ped does not eyeball whether a child has a pot belly and say something. They use data points and then they say something. They observe patterns in your particular child and they also compare your child to other children. This is normal and their job.

Look, you know your kid and your family lifestyle. If you can really say you have an active kid who eats a normal, balance diet, then let it go. Is that what's going on? I doubt it. It's not a crime to notice your kid is fat and needs help and try to do something about it. I don't understand the head in the sand approach of some of these PPs.

Anonymous wrote:The idea that weight is a taboo topic that can't be talked about actually contributes to disordered body image. When something is secret and taboo and not something that can be discussed it becomes a problem.

There are many ways to talk about weight and health that aren't going to create an eating disorder.

I grew up in a home where health was talked about openly - sleep, physical activity, weight, nutrition, stress management, we talked about all of it. I do the same with my kids. It is just part of the conversation. Neither or nor any of my 5 siblings nor any of my kids have eating disorders or any issues with body image.

The idea that we should be blind to weight and make it a taboo topic is really unhealthy. Obesity is a real issue and it isn't healthy.

Yeah, but they probably aren't talking about this. It's when you talk about weight only that there becomes an issue. There is no need to tell a third grader that she needs to do something about her potbelly. Before I said a word to my child, I would look at what we are doing (or not doing) as a family. I would look at body shapes/types on both sides of the family. I'd think back to whether or not I was ever chubby or had a pot belly. Maybe DW has the same body type with the same potbelly as a 9 year old, and realizes DD may be going through a chubby phase before shooting up.

Even with all their good intentions, I have never seen a parent try to get their kid to have a “healthier” weight without it backfiring. The kid just gets a complex and their eating habits get worse.

I had a pot belly at that age and my mom parents made comments about it. Later my figure kind of morphed into a traditionally attractive one and I have the same figure today but my parents words will not go away and I feel like I’ll have body insecurity forever.

You know I don’t know what to do but as a person who had always struggled with eating/weight, the idea that the parents could give her a “complex” is kind of funny to me. If she’s overweight, she’ll have a complex. It doesn’t matter what her parents say or don’t say about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

Oh sorry I didn’t see that the pediatrician said something

Honestly I would consider a different pediatrician. A pot belly sounds totally normal. If two say there is an issue, okay. But even then, be so careful about encouraging her to focus on weight in any way at all. Dieting leads to weight gain and I’m guessing that’s the last thing you want.

Better to be fat than sad, according to you.

Children's weight is something that parents can affect. When a pediatrician brings it up, then listen. Don't dump the doctor and find a different one.

Yes it’s better to be fat than sad. And it’s called getting a second opinion, people do it all the time.

Yes, it is better to be "fat" than to be sad, weirdo PP. Especially when "fat" is a pot belly on an 8 year old. Good grief.

OP, I think you're right to be paying attention since it's always possible that there's some underlying health reason, but I also think it's almost certainly not something to worry about. I was looking at my school pictures a few weeks ago and laughing at how I went through a chubby phase from around ages 9-11. Then I hit puberty, grew several inches taller, and was VERY skinny for years. Not due to an eating disorder but just how my body worked, I guess. I started filling out more around 18-20 and ever since have been right in the middle of normal range (I'm now mid-40s).

You may be thinking of the lean male body as the default, which wouldn't be surprising. But women generally do have more body fat and are curvier than men. Our current cultural image of women (white women particularly, I think, if this applies to you) as very slender with sometimes concave (!) stomachs is really messed up. If you look at e.g. classical statues and Renaissance paintings, the model women do have pot bellies!

The idea that weight is a taboo topic that can't be talked about actually contributes to disordered body image. When something is secret and taboo and not something that can be discussed it becomes a problem.

There are many ways to talk about weight and health that aren't going to create an eating disorder.

I grew up in a home where health was talked about openly - sleep, physical activity, weight, nutrition, stress management, we talked about all of it. I do the same with my kids. It is just part of the conversation. Neither or nor any of my 5 siblings nor any of my kids have eating disorders or any issues with body image.

The idea that we should be blind to weight and make it a taboo topic is really unhealthy. Obesity is a real issue and it isn't healthy.

Anonymous wrote:It's more noticeable now but I'm sure it's been there for a while as these things don't happen overnight. Can I as her dad say something about it to encourage her to lose it? DW does the cooking and we eat healthy but DD has a big appetite I think in part due to having a teen big brother that influenced her idea of portion size. DW is not interested in speaking to DD about her growing waist at all. I haven't said anything either but wonder if/what to do to get DW on board or tackle it on my own.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that your DW was shamed about her body in some way as a child, and just straight up refuses to do this to your daughter. Did you ask your DW why she refused to do the followup appointment?

Have the conversation with your wife re: her completely shutting ALL of this conversation down, and then go from there.

I don't have any advice on how to tell her that her portion size can't be the same as her brothers...I have two boys and they are 17 months apart, so they eat the same food.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

Oh sorry I didn’t see that the pediatrician said something

Honestly I would consider a different pediatrician. A pot belly sounds totally normal. If two say there is an issue, okay. But even then, be so careful about encouraging her to focus on weight in any way at all. Dieting leads to weight gain and I’m guessing that’s the last thing you want.

Better to be fat than sad, according to you.

Children's weight is something that parents can affect. When a pediatrician brings it up, then listen. Don't dump the doctor and find a different one.

Anonymous wrote:Not a troll. Her ped was concerned anout her weight gain (which surprised us) and wanted her back for 3-mos follow up but DW refused/ignored the appointment.

OP, you probably should have included this in your original post!. Complaining about your kid's waistline and having a ped express concern are 2 very different angles on a situation. Sorry. I bashed you a bit earlier, but ... ok, now I get it.

Model healthy eating, get the whole family moving together in fun ways (hike each weekend, play soccer together, whatever is fun and sweaty and in motion for an extended period), involve her in cooking (even small things like cooking / preparing things like salad dressing oil-free can have a 200 calorie impact each day), etc.

Also - does she have stomach issues? Gas, bloating, constipation, etc.? Is she tired often or itchy? If so, I'd hop over to an ND for a food intolerance/sensitivity workup. Their tests and questions will be much more thorough than those an MD offers.

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

Oh sorry I didn’t see that the pediatrician said something

Honestly I would consider a different pediatrician. A pot belly sounds totally normal. If two say there is an issue, okay. But even then, be so careful about encouraging her to focus on weight in any way at all. Dieting leads to weight gain and I’m guessing that’s the last thing you want.