Had dd1 just after I turned 38. Had dd2 just before I turned 40. We started trying with my OB’s encouragement when dd1 was 6 months old. It took 7 cycles to get pregnant with dd2. They are 20 months apart and those first 6 months were a blur but it is so awesome now (6.5 and almost 5) that I can’t imagine my kids any different.

As others have said, you don’t know until you try and if your really want another, better start trying.

36 with first, didn't have a second. I've thought about it, but now I'm 43 and think it may be too late.

Anonymous wrote:If you were 35+ with your first child, when did you have a second child? What age gap worked for you? My husband and I have a 4-month-old. I’m 38 ( turning 39 in a couple of months) and he is 40. Our plan is to start trying for a second child when our first is a year old, but now I’m not sure if we should start trying sooner or wait longer. I know the ideal age gap is 3-4 years, but we can’t wait that long. I’m starting to worry that having a child 2 and under with a newborn will be very tough. I have a friend with a newborn and a 20 month old, and she said it’s very hard. What age do you think is he best time to start trying?

This may sound scary, but if you want another: start now. Don't worry about the gap size; you'll get through it.

Had my son at 38 and after that -- nothing. He was, apparently my one and only good egg. Did all the things (including multiple rounds of IVF.) but he is the only one I'll have through my own body. Stopped trying at 43 and we are now approved & waiting to adopt an older child from foster care.

I was 37 with my first. My second two years later. The first couple of years were rough but now at 3 and 5, it’s a lot easier!

Kids are just over 2 years Apart.

As others pointed out, so much of this out of your control, including when you start ovulating again (i didn’t start until my first turned 1). I would not focus on the age gap because you may not get pregnant when you want to and temperament of each kid will more strongly influence the family dynamic, etc. There are pros/cons to every age gap and you will make the best of it.

I had my first child at 37, second at 38 (almost 39), kids are 21 months apart. We started trying around DD1’s first birthday and got pregnant that first cycle. The first year of DD2’s life was really hard and exhausting (colicky baby never slept) but it got so much easier. Kids are in elementary school now and I love it.

The closely-spaced pregnancies took a toll on my body. Nothing serious but it took a while before I felt like my body was my own again, not sure if more time to recover between pregnancies would have felt better. I have zero regrets about it though!

Anonymous wrote:If you were 35+ with your first child, when did you have a second child? What age gap worked for you? My husband and I have a 4-month-old. I’m 38 ( turning 39 in a couple of months) and he is 40. Our plan is to start trying for a second child when our first is a year old, but now I’m not sure if we should start trying sooner or wait longer. I know the ideal age gap is 3-4 years, but we can’t wait that long. I’m starting to worry that having a child 2 and under with a newborn will be very tough. I have a friend with a newborn and a 20 month old, and she said it’s very hard. What age do you think is he best time to start trying?

There is no perfect gap. Mine are 17 months apart, and yes, those first few years were really hard. But you know what? I have a friend who has a 4 year age gap, and 8 years later, the oldest is still wishing the youngest away. There are challenges with any age range.

35-#1
39-#2

No issues

Anonymous wrote:If you think you want a second child, that should be the deciding factor - not whether the age gap will be more or less difficult. You might end up with your desired age gap anyway if it takes a bit of time to get pregnant, and in any event, there's no magic age gap that is best for everyone. So much depends upon the personalities involved and other personal factors. My kids are 3 years apart (had my first at 35 and my second at 38). I didn't want two kids in diapers at the same time and I wanted a bit more time with just one child, but on the flip side, the age gap seems very pronounced at certain ages and it can be hard to manage that. It's also been hard for other reasons (namely, my second child is a handful). So you never know how it's going to turn out or whether any particular age gap will be harder or easier on YOU.

This!

I had my daughter when I was almost 39. She was such a difficult child, the thought of having another never even crossed my mind. If you are sure you want to have another child, do it sooner rather than later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First at 35 1/2. Started trying for second at 36 1/2. Tried for a year, then did IVF. Second and last baby at 38 1/2.

I personally think the age gap of 3 years is too much. I would have preferred them to be closer in age. Too much competition when the oldest remembers when the second ruined their life.

Are your kids still young?

The close in age ones are the ones where the constant comparisons and competitiveness can be a real problem.

OP, just time it so they are at least 2 school grades apart, preferably 3 or 4. Having them in back to back grades going all the way through is rough.

Anonymous wrote:Given your age, I would say don't wait since our egg supply and egg quality diminishes when we are nearing 40.

Yes, it would be tough. But just think of it as Irish twins - you will get over the diaper changes, tantrums etc at the same time.

It's this. I and so many people have no trouble with no 1 and then getting pregnant the second time is the challenge.

I had my first when I was 36.5. We started trying for a second when my first was a year old and fortunately conceived our second within 2 cycles. They are 22 months apart. It was very challenging the first year, but overall it's a great age gap and the kids love playing together.

I had my first at 35 ( late 35), second at 38, third at 40. The largest gap between two is 27 months. I really don’t think a few months either way will make too much of a difference. But if you have a relatively easy first baby and are ready to try for another, go ahead. You just can’t predict your babies temperament and how easy/ hard they will be relating to anything. Good luck with your decision.

I had my first at 36 and my second at 38. They are 22 months apart. The first six months were very tough but it's gotten easier as they've both gotten older and started to play independently and entertain one another.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't have a second child.

same

Same. I was 36 and could not imagine going through it all again at 38 or 39.