Anonymous
Post 02/13/2020 15:00     Subject: "I don't want to go to school!"
Anonymous wrote:How do you handle this? My DD is 4. She has been in the same daycare since she was 6 months old and in this same classroom since August. Every morning lately it has been a huge battle to get her to go. She complains she doesn't want to go, doesn't like it, and is bored. We don't fight her - we let her express her feelings - but when it is time to leave we do just put her in the car. She stops crying but is grouchy about it. After school, she is generally fine.

Her teachers report she is happy and participates in school with no behavioral issues. She is there from 8-4 or so every day.

What else can we be doing? Is this just a 4 year old thing?


Didnt' read the thread. It's an "I'm done with this boring place" thing. Will she be in K in the fall? If yes, suggest camps this summer. At least a week or so. if not, new shool possible?
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2020 10:21     Subject: "I don't want to go to school!"
My daughter was like this at 4. I think it was a combination of wanting to stay home and play with her toys and wanting to be with me (I work at home). It was not an easy phase, but like you we just kept going. Lots of talk about fun things happening at school or how many days until the weekend, I would also try to plan a special "mom and kid" day or afternoon when I'd pick her up early for her to look forward to.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2020 10:16     Subject: "I don't want to go to school!"
Does she get enough downtime at home?

Is there a new kid in class? You might be surprised how early and subtle bullying/mean behavior can start.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2020 10:15     Subject: "I don't want to go to school!"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Does she get to have screens in the morning? Some kids don’t want to go to school because they have screens before school and feel like school takes them away from the (addictive) screens. Try no screens in the morning for a week and see how that helps.

—preschool teacher


Op here - no she has zero screen time during the week. She does get some screens on the weekends (hour each AM). She doesn’t ask for screens during the week at all so I don’t think it’s that. Someone else posted up thread about waking up early - she does do that. She’s usually up around 5:30 and so we have around 2 hours where we are playing before it’s time to leave.


Well good, that eliminates that possibility. an early wake up time could make a difference, you’re right. She might be tired already by the time it’s time to go.

Kids go through stages like this, it’s common. She might be enjoying some attention she gets when she says it? Unless you think something is off at school (teachers are unkind, kids are mean) then just keep reassuring her that school is her job and she is safe there. Don’t tell her “you’ll be fine!” Because that can diminish a child’s feelings that they aren’t fine/happy—but telling them that they are safe there is true.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2020 10:10     Subject: "I don't want to go to school!"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:School avoidance can also be a sign of anxiety


Thread is about a 4 year old


4yos can absolutely have anxiety if the school is a stressful environment for them. Some children have much lower thresholds for what they find stressful and that usually means anxiety. If the school avoidance is extreme, I would absolutely dig into what could be causing that stress. It could be as simple as the classroom is too chaotic and noisy when they first arrive in the morning and that transition is stressful.



Anonymous
Post 02/13/2020 09:54     Subject: "I don't want to go to school!"
My daughter is like this (and so was my son at this age.) As long as she's happy at school, I don't worry. I don't think it's necessary to get her evaluated for anxiety -- unless there are others things going on, but it doesn't sound like there is.

And i agree with 9:44. Who doesn't want to stay at home!?
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2020 09:44     Subject: Re:"I don't want to go to school!"
I'm surprised by a lot of these answers - I think most kids this age start to get a little mopey when it comes to going to school.. especially around this time in the year. My son is the same but quite happy when he gets there. Of course they would rather stay home with their toys and mom. Who wouldn't?
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2020 08:36     Subject: "I don't want to go to school!"
Anonymous wrote:Does she get to have screens in the morning? Some kids don’t want to go to school because they have screens before school and feel like school takes them away from the (addictive) screens. Try no screens in the morning for a week and see how that helps.

—preschool teacher


Op here - no she has zero screen time during the week. She does get some screens on the weekends (hour each AM). She doesn’t ask for screens during the week at all so I don’t think it’s that. Someone else posted up thread about waking up early - she does do that. She’s usually up around 5:30 and so we have around 2 hours where we are playing before it’s time to leave.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2020 08:30     Subject: "I don't want to go to school!"
Does she get to have screens in the morning? Some kids don’t want to go to school because they have screens before school and feel like school takes them away from the (addictive) screens. Try no screens in the morning for a week and see how that helps.

—preschool teacher