Yet another SAHM here and never in 10 yrs has this happened. Sure, we carpool, drop off play dates, etc but it is all reciprocated/even as out. It is called friendship; that is what friends do.

OP- are you saying "strangers" from school are asking you to cover for them? That makes no sense. And last minute on top of that - as in their kid is sick and so they want you, whom you're not friends with/know nothing about, want you to watch their sick kid??

Can you explain OP? This doesn't add up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who SAH for a while and then went back to work part-time (3 days 9-4) and confided to me she’s going to let everyone think she works full time (and she kept her full time nanny). So she looks like she “does it all” and is really active volunteering at school etc.

moms who pretend they do it all are way more toxic than the ones who ask for help. I wish we would stop perpetuating that image of perfection, because it leads us to bashing women who don't have it all together.

+1,000

I did a very intense Pinterest-y project once for our kids' school auction and another working mom praised me for being able to do that while having a full-time job. She said I just must be better at managing time than her or better at living on no sleep or just somehow amazing. Rather than agreeing that it was any or all of those things, I admitted that I had had to take an entire day off work to get it done. People who act like they do everything perfectly are really making things worse for those who are sensitive to not being enough. Social media has made this so much worse, but women like that should realize that they're doing more harm than good.

I've only had one family try to do this. The kid was a jerk so it was easy to cut them off.

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHD and I will never have this problem since Moms around here think that all men have cooties and cannot be trusted.

Yet another benefit to being a man.

I work and I've picked up kids from the bus-stop with SAHMs and other working people who's kid is there but parent isn't. It's worked the other way. Also, we have some fun swap things going on when there's a weird day off like a snow day with no snow.

Must be a rare type.

I am a SAHD and I will never have this problem since Moms around here think that all men have cooties and cannot be trusted.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who SAH for a while and then went back to work part-time (3 days 9-4) and confided to me she’s going to let everyone think she works full time (and she kept her full time nanny). So she looks like she “does it all” and is really active volunteering at school etc.

moms who pretend they do it all are way more toxic than the ones who ask for help. I wish we would stop perpetuating that image of perfection, because it leads us to bashing women who don't have it all together.

Anonymous wrote:No, I am ok just saying no repeatedly.

+1, I just say no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOHM and I have never once tried to get a SAHM friend to help in a childcare emergency. Who are you friends with?

Really? You've never done it, so no one every has?

LOL the PP literally said that she had never done it and asked who the OP is firends with to try to figure out what type of person would do this sort of thing. Which suggests that PP does not think that no one has ever done it because she specifically said 1) SHE had never done it and 2) that she wants to know WHO would do it.

Where do people get these poor reading skills??

I have a friend who SAH for a while and then went back to work part-time (3 days 9-4) and confided to me she’s going to let everyone think she works full time (and she kept her full time nanny). So she looks like she “does it all” and is really active volunteering at school etc.

This has happened to me. I have three young kids but a neighbor friend (with three kids herself, WOH) kept referring to me as “retired” and asked me to regularly pick up her kid from the bus stop since I’m “just at home anyway”.

So, yeah, it happens.

Another SAHM who has never had this happen. I have offered several times to do emergency child care for friends, but it rarely happens. If anything, the other SAHMs and I trade favors. Maybe because in this area, many families with two working parents can afford the occasional White House nanny in emergencies.

I'm a SAHM and this has never happened to me. Sometimes I wish someone would drop off their toddler over here in an emergency so my daughter could have someone to play with .

I'm a SAHM and this has never happened to me either. I've seen moms - both SAHM and WOHM - ask for help from our community FB group, but then it's up to people to volunteer if they are able. Never been directly and individually asked.

My bigger problem has been with the DINKS in our small HOA who rely on me to do an oversized share of community tasks under the theory that I "have the time." I am in the process of drawing some firm boundaries right now. It was unpleasant at first, but has been getting much, much better as folks have gotten used to hearing "no" and have finally stopped asking.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM but this has never been an issue. Sure, I’ve been asked a few times to help out but it’s rarely last minute, it’s my friends whose kids are my kids friends and not random moms from school I hardly know, and they always offered to reciprocate so it wasn’t a big deal.

+1 and I'm always happy to help my friends. I have never had a random mom or acquaintance ask me.

I’m a SAHM but this has never been an issue. Sure, I’ve been asked a few times to help out but it’s rarely last minute, it’s my friends whose kids are my kids friends and not random moms from school I hardly know, and they always offered to reciprocate so it wasn’t a big deal.