Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

Yes. Anyone with self-respect would feel properly ashamed of any changes in their body deemed unacceptable by their significant other.

Let's not get carried away. OP stated 50+ pounds in the title. 50lbs is a lot different than your usual 10-20lb fluctuations.

Oh. 50 pounds? I don’t know how such a person could walk without being buried under a mountain of shame! If they respect themselves, look happy, and like sex, then they probably do have mental illness!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of weight discrimination going on here. It's simply not true that getting fat is always a sign of depression or lack of self-respect or control or whatever. It's just hard for some people to keep weight off. Some of you sound like real dicks.

Weight fluctuation is one thing. It happens to us all. But becoming obese is a sign of a bigger issue such as depression etc.

Says who?

Science!

Everyone knows there are few, if any, scienticians in the DCUM crowd.

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of weight discrimination going on here. It's simply not true that getting fat is always a sign of depression or lack of self-respect or control or whatever. It's just hard for some people to keep weight off. Some of you sound like real dicks.

People aren’t saying they would divorce their spouse or even say anything about the weight gain. In an anonymous site, they answered a question. Of course, sex doesn’t feel as good! My husband has gained a lot of weight and it doesn’t feel good to have sex in a lot of positions anymore.

That’s a fact of life.

Get over it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

Yes. Anyone with self-respect would feel properly ashamed of any changes in their body deemed unacceptable by their significant other.

Let's not get carried away. OP stated 50+ pounds in the title. 50lbs is a lot different than your usual 10-20lb fluctuations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

Uh, yeah, no. I gained weight because of constant emotional abuse + PPD so severe I was hospitalized.

Actually, we all gain weight for the same reason, eating too much and not burning enough calories. The other stuff you mentioned can lead one to eat too much and not get enough exercise. Emotional abuse and PPD done necessarily lead to weight gain.

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of weight discrimination going on here. It's simply not true that getting fat is always a sign of depression or lack of self-respect or control or whatever. It's just hard for some people to keep weight off. Some of you sound like real dicks.

My husband eats too much and drinks too much. I am certain that if he comes back he would lose weight. I know this because he did stop drinking for a few months and he did lose a lot of weight. He also loses weight in the summer when he exercises more. It is his choice to have the gut that he has.

Anonymous wrote:For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

Yes. Anyone with self-respect would feel properly ashamed of any changes in their body deemed unacceptable by their significant other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

For many it's rooted in depression and other emotional issues that go well beyond self respect. I gained and eventually lost ~100 lbs and having participated in a couple of support groups over five years I can tell you that its rarely so simple. Most KNOW how to diet and exercise but eat poorly because of severe depression, anxiety and other marital and family issues. I found help with medications to address the depression and anxiety - and two years later I had lost the weight. My wife was very supportive during this dark chapter of my life - but we still had an active sex life. I know she lost attraction for me - which only compounded the depression - but we worked through it together.

Congrats to you and your wife for working things through. Although weight loss is important, it's just as important that you each have each other's back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of weight discrimination going on here. It's simply not true that getting fat is always a sign of depression or lack of self-respect or control or whatever. It's just hard for some people to keep weight off. Some of you sound like real dicks.

Weight fluctuation is one thing. It happens to us all. But becoming obese is a sign of a bigger issue such as depression etc.

Says who?

Science!

When I got married my husband was overweight but it didn't stop me from marrying him. After 7 or 8 years his doctor gave him a warning which he took seriously and he lost a lot of weight and became incredibly fit almost a complete transformation. I have to admit that his body became a great turn on for me but it really didn't change his performance which has always been very good. His extra weight never really bothered me in terms of our relationship until he got the health warning and I'm glad he took it seriously. He lost the weight about five years ago and he does a real good job keeping it off without doing anything extreme. I've also lost about 15 pounds following his lead but some of it was from my boobs which I'm sure he is not thrilled about!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of weight discrimination going on here. It's simply not true that getting fat is always a sign of depression or lack of self-respect or control or whatever. It's just hard for some people to keep weight off. Some of you sound like real dicks.

Weight fluctuation is one thing. It happens to us all. But becoming obese is a sign of a bigger issue such as depression etc.

Says who?

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of weight discrimination going on here. It's simply not true that getting fat is always a sign of depression or lack of self-respect or control or whatever. It's just hard for some people to keep weight off. Some of you sound like real dicks.

Weight fluctuation is one thing. It happens to us all. But becoming obese is a sign of a bigger issue such as depression etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've gained more than that. Our sex life is the same it ever was.

That’s what you think.

He still wants it more than I do. Begs for it. I'm working on the depression that makes me not want it.

There's a lot of weight discrimination going on here. It's simply not true that getting fat is always a sign of depression or lack of self-respect or control or whatever. It's just hard for some people to keep weight off. Some of you sound like real dicks.

It hasn’t affected our sex life. I do worry about spouse’s health.