Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 19:32     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
Anonymous wrote:The only parents I've judged in that situation was a family who seemed to have a kid as an accessory. They had 3 nannies, one started at 5am and the other finished at 10pm. Then they had a weekend one. The only time that I saw the parents was when they hosted functions, and even then they took pics with their kid to post online but otherwise the nanny did everything. They had a maid, tutors, chef, etc.

That’s the only time I judge, too. If I could hire a weekend helper to take my kid to the park while I cleaned the house, I would be in heaven. Right now I’m stuck yelling at my 3 year old for jumping off chairs as I empty the dishwasher. Sigh.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 19:20     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
If we could afford it, I would totally outsource some things. My mom was a SAHM and my parents had a housekeeper, and often hired babysitters. OTOH, My MIL cleaned houses for a living and my FIL works low paying jobs in the service industry. They would frown down on us hiring anyone, and would suggest moving in with us to help.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 19:08     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
I’m jealous!
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 19:03     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
The only parents I've judged in that situation was a family who seemed to have a kid as an accessory. They had 3 nannies, one started at 5am and the other finished at 10pm. Then they had a weekend one. The only time that I saw the parents was when they hosted functions, and even then they took pics with their kid to post online but otherwise the nanny did everything. They had a maid, tutors, chef, etc.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 19:02     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
Anonymous wrote:Eh, I admit to judging the SAHMs with full time nannys or au pairs. It makes me wonder why the parents had children at all. So much of the fun and beauty of parenting is in the nitty gritty of it.


Just curious, do you judge whether or not the mom also spends the majority of the time with the kids? For example if family has 3 kids and uses the nanny as a second set of hands while the mom also does child related work most of the day, do you still judge? Or only if mom uses the time for “me time”
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 18:29     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
Eh, I admit to judging the SAHMs with full time nannys or au pairs. It makes me wonder why the parents had children at all. So much of the fun and beauty of parenting is in the nitty gritty of it.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 18:13     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
Anonymous wrote:I used to judge them and have eaten my humble pie and am now one of them. I have a 10mo and a 2.5yo and dh was gone for the weekend. I decided to hired a mothers helper for the weekend and it was amazing (honestly better than dh is home but that’s a different problem)! She stayed with the baby to nap while I took toddler out in am, she cleaned up from lunch while I put kids down from nap and ran errands. She was another set of hands so we could go to zoo and let the toddler run like a mad man while I sat with the baby for his bottle. She cleaned up from the day while I read books. I could have done the weekend myself and have done it and am glad that I have so that built up the skills just like we all do when we have to do something new kid wise. But this was so much earlier and more relaxing, instead of an exhausting and boring weekend, it was fun, calm, and I got a little down time before going back into the work week.

I still somewhat am judging myself for not just handling my own kids but I’m a work in progress on not judging over all and will continue working on my humble pie.


You’re providing your helper an opportunity to learn. That’s a good thing.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 18:13     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
You get no medal for being a martyr.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 18:10     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
You know, it's really only in our culture that it's expected that the parents (and until recently just mother) do all of the childcare on their own. Throughout most of human history people have had many caretakers around them to help with childcare. It's just a holdover of our Puritan and pioneer culture that makes having any sort of help looked down on.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 17:17     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
We can afford it and we used to have a nanny but I would always send her home as soon as I got home from work. My mom ‘did it all’ without complaining so I feel lazy having child care help if I’m not away at work myself.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 17:08     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
I wouldn’t say I’m envious but I wish I could hire all the help!
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 16:41     Subject: Re:What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
I judge a little, but I don’t think your situation counts as a ton. In college I watched kids in the evening for a mother who was a stay at a home mom with a full time nanny. I judged her some
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 16:34     Subject: Re:What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
I think they are lucky and am completely jealous.

-SAHM who has no hired help whatsoever due to budget.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 16:26     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
It literally does not cross my mind unless it directly relates to me, as in, Weekend Nanny drops off the child for play date, so I interact with Weekend Nanny instead of Parent.

I sometimes wish that we had it in our budget to afford a weekend mother's helper. I sometimes get overwhelmed by the sheer number of tasks to be done in 2 short days. It would be helpful to have another helper when DH is away.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 16:25     Subject: What do you think of people that hire a ton of help
I think “damn I wish I could do that”.
I also am from the Midwest and completely get your explanation.