Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he doesn’t want you to know his financials it is a legally better that he files separately so that nothing could be imparted to your knowledge. However, this is not a good sign for a marriage.

Does this stand since they have a joint account, are saving for a future together and he is contributing to mortgage payments? They appear to be co-mingling assets. I would think someone going after him could go after her?? I truly don't know the answer.

Co-mingling? Did you miss the part where they venmo each other like tab-keeping roommates?

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he filed at all? It’s possible he’s many years in arrears and doesn’t want you to know.

This.

He either shows you his financials, including his tax return, or you file an annulment. You can’t build a life together if he’s not willing to have financial transparency. He doesn’t get to postpone until next year, either. It happens NOW or you walk.

Are you sure he filed at all? It’s possible he’s many years in arrears and doesn’t want you to know.

Anonymous wrote:If he doesn’t want you to know his financials it is a legally better that he files separately so that nothing could be imparted to your knowledge. However, this is not a good sign for a marriage.

Does this stand since they have a joint account, are saving for a future together and he is contributing to mortgage payments? They appear to be co-mingling assets. I would think someone going after him could go after her?? I truly don't know the answer.

Do not have kids! You need to have this figured out before starting a family. Seriously. If this ends up being some crazy shady stuff you can divorce and start over. Much more difficult once kids are in the mix.

Anonymous wrote:The student loan deduction is a whopping $2500 so it's really nothing to get secretive over. This is about something more nefarious

It may not be the deduction itself; his IDR payments could go way up if they file together.

But OP: this is a mess and not just because of him. Did you guys discuss this stuff before you got married?

This is seriously f’ed up, OP. I would be gone before the ink dried on my tax returns.

You marriage is pretty much guaranteed not to make it past 5 years. How much time and money do you wish to waste before that becomes even more apparent?

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to leave your condo immediately and that you are filing for divorce. I am completely serious.

I think if he won't show you his credit report and tax returns that's a reasonable indication that something big is amiss and you should be prepared for that possibility. I would mentally prepare yourself to kiss that $20,000 goodbye. Maybe you can get an annulment

Tell him to leave your condo immediately and that you are filing for divorce. I am completely serious.

Maybe you can get him to agree to see a third party - a CPA or financial advisor to help with planning moving forward. Having someone neutral might help bridge the divide.

If he doesn’t want you to know his financials it is a legally better that he files separately so that nothing could be imparted to your knowledge. However, this is not a good sign for a marriage.

OP - what he did is just a tiny view into how the rest of your life with him will be. This is deal-breaker behavior for me.

Clearly an unhealthy relationship due to his lack of trust, which is huge.

Wow. Is he going to show you his tax return? He should. You are his wife. You should know everything about his finances, including his student loans.