Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you opposed to dating a mid-40s woman who is divorced or widowed? Men who remain single in their mid-40s also tend to be underdeveloped in either social skills or emotional intelligence.

OP here.

No. No problem with divorced women or widows (rare at my age- 47) but my filters still catch the never married mid 40s and those women are weird. Like, one on Tinder an hour ago asking me if I really 'needed' to spend time with my kids 'every weekend you have them."

Like, WTF?

While I agree with you about never-married mid-40s women (in my experience they have either impossibly demanding expectations or unresolved stuff), the issue above prob isn’t that she never married, it’s that she is childfree. My single/divorced mom friends who have dated men without children have reported similar reactions/attitudes from the men. Can you filter for “has children”? Even if not, most apps show that in the profile blurb.

I’m 45 and widowed (8 yrs out). My only experience w online dating was with Bumble this past fall, and I only swiped right on men with children. Since I’m 100% responsible for my children w/ no off days, I needed any potential partner to get that. Lucky for me I hit it off with my now SO in my 3rd match. He is a divorced dad with an every other week schedule. We compare calendars and are able to carve out time about twice a week. Our kids are old enough to stay home alone during daylight hours, so we often do a 730am Sat walk and coffee mini-date while teens sleep in. Can’t imagine a man without children being okay with the lack of freedom and spontaneity.

All that to say: read the fine print before you swipe right. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you opposed to dating a mid-40s woman who is divorced or widowed? Men who remain single in their mid-40s also tend to be underdeveloped in either social skills or emotional intelligence.

OP here.

No. No problem with divorced women or widows (rare at my age- 47) but my filters still catch the never married mid 40s and those women are weird. Like, one on Tinder an hour ago asking me if I really 'needed' to spend time with my kids 'every weekend you have them."

Like, WTF?

Like WTF said no mid 40's man ever.

Troll.

Just saw 21:26. In case anyone is wondering, we’re two different posters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 45 yo woman. My friends who are still single are great women, but definitely have issues. I’d say the same goes for men who make it to their mid-40s without having married. Unless you want a second family, you should stick to divorced or widowed women.

Most 45 year olds have issues. The divorced ones too.

So do married ones. We’re all weird by mid-40s!

I’m remarried after eight divorced years. I definitely got weirder, by which I mean, more comfortable being myself rather than pretending to be someone else for other people’s comfort or approval. Some of that weirdness developed after I started dating my now DH and he contributed greatly to it by now freaking out and running away when I dared to be myself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There probably aren’t too many normal 45 year old women who have never been married.

Yes. I've never met one. I've met a few nice women like this but they are all messed up, mostly from childhood. Plus trauma from never having kids. Or just crazy.

I think it's crazy to assume someone's state of mind from their non-parent status.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 45 yo woman. My friends who are still single are great women, but definitely have issues. I’d say the same goes for men who make it to their mid-40s without having married. Unless you want a second family, you should stick to divorced or widowed women.

+1

Anonymous wrote:There probably aren’t too many normal 45 year old women who have never been married.

Yes. I've never met one. I've met a few nice women like this but they are all messed up, mostly from childhood. Plus trauma from never having kids. Or just crazy.

Anonymous wrote:You, of course, being divorced with children, are quite the prize, right?

This!

Anonymous wrote:You, of course, being divorced with children, are quite the prize, right?

Yes, I am.

I am a 45+ single mom, never married. I'm pretty normal (but maybe I'm not the best judge?). Maybe I haven't married because all the 40+ men are looking for "normal" women at least a decade younger than they are.

And don't get me started on the never-married men. Like the ones who still live with their mom. Or seem to be unacquainted with the notion of daily showering. Or are chronically unemployed.

You, of course, being divorced with children, are quite the prize, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 45 yo woman. My friends who are still single are great women, but definitely have issues. I’d say the same goes for men who make it to their mid-40s without having married. Unless you want a second family, you should stick to divorced or widowed women.

Most 45 year olds have issues. The divorced ones too.

And the married ones.

Everyone is weird, op. Childless women and men will have a hard time relating to the time commitment of kids. Set your preferences so you only see mothers and you will likely have more in common with them.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 45 yo woman. My friends who are still single are great women, but definitely have issues. I’d say the same goes for men who make it to their mid-40s without having married. Unless you want a second family, you should stick to divorced or widowed women.

Most 45 year olds have issues. The divorced ones too.

I’m a 45 yo woman. My friends who are still single are great women, but definitely have issues. I’d say the same goes for men who make it to their mid-40s without having married. Unless you want a second family, you should stick to divorced or widowed women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you opposed to dating a mid-40s woman who is divorced or widowed? Men who remain single in their mid-40s also tend to be underdeveloped in either social skills or emotional intelligence.

OP here.

No. No problem with divorced women or widows (rare at my age- 47) but my filters still catch the never married mid 40s and those women are weird. Like, one on Tinder an hour ago asking me if I really 'needed' to spend time with my kids 'every weekend you have them."

Like, WTF?

They don’t have the context of parenthood. That’s not weird, it inexperience.