Anonymous wrote:Married for 24 years. Divorce was easy. Were still friends. I will never remarry. My alimony would stop and I love living on my own.

You are not living on your own, you are living off your XDH!

Married for 24 years. Divorce was easy. Were still friends. I will never remarry. My alimony would stop and I love living on my own.

Living in the same house as a couple in a dead marriage is NOT good for children. What the hell do you think they are learning from that, because children learn by watching!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you going to do about sex?

Are you catholic? You don’t know how a single women takes care of that?

does it include kissing mirrors and cuddling pillows?

Marriage in rough place. Honestly, I consider leaving. I haven't , still have 2 kids at home.

But regardless, I never will marry again! Why should I? I have my own career (solid with good benefits, not as high pay as most here but enough for a good middle class life), things I want to do, and I CERTAINLY don't want to raise anyone else's kids! And at 48, not having any more. I want what I have to all go to my own kids upon my death and I don't want share with new dh, step kids, ect.

Woman, 47. My ex left me, she was having an affair with her coworker. I date women and men, I've had a boyfriend for a few years and the further I get from my marriage the less appealing remarrying seems. I like having companionship, but I also like being independent, not having to take care of another adult, controlling my living space. If staying married had been an option, I would have tried for my child, but I like being divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay for your children. You’re doing the right thing.

+1. Unless there is alcoholism/addiction or abuse, it’s been proven better for the children. Plus divorce and living separately takes money away from the children.

I have absolutely not intention or desire to marry again (widowed). I love being single!

I think I'd like to be widowed.

Anonymous wrote:I stayed for the children.

But I decided when my youngest was in 8th. I gave my H the option to leave if he wanted.

We stayed together, respectfully. The children knew since they were a bit older.

My youngest is going to college this Fall and I am house hunting with my H for him.

You do you and don’t let others dictate what is right and wrong.

This answer fascinates me because I see shades of where I am right now.

But PP, if you see this, please clarify: Do you mean you told your H you two were basically through but he was cool to live with you for five more years? And the kids knew that was the arrangement, too?

Divorced once, had thought I'd marry again but so glad I never did.

I am in a years-long relationship and will never marry him. Why? Very simple.

He has kids. Once you have kids no matter how old they get, I don't think you can never put another person first, and thus can't honestly commit to them.

Even when they get older and have kids of their own. Grandkids have a powerful pull.

Anonymous wrote:What are you going to do about sex?

Are you catholic? You don’t know how a single women takes care of that?

What are you going to do about sex?

NP here, I am divorced and happy, and I really appreciate this thread. I often feel like there is something wrong with me for not wanting to remarry or necessarily be in a relationship.

I am 42 and have been divorced since 2017. My life is free from chaos, though admittedly boring at times. I love peace so I will keep the boring if that is the exchange.

I have a cousin who simply can't be single, and she baffles me!

Why buy when you can rent? I’ve been divorced for 5 years and I’ve had plenty of male companionship both sexual and non sexual. I have no desire to remarry but I wouldn’t be against living with someone but only after a long period of dating. I recently took a two week cruise with a guy which was a great way to test out compatibility. He passed the test but that’s just the starting point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay for your children. You’re doing the right thing.

+1. Unless there is alcoholism/addiction or abuse, it’s been proven better for the children. Plus divorce and living separately takes money away from the children.

I have absolutely not intention or desire to marry again (widowed). I love being single!

Please cite the study.

The longitudinal Wasserstein studies out of Marin County is what the poster is probably referring to. Fascinating. There are at least two books I’ve read of hers and there may be a third. Follows families over decades.

Unexpected legacy of divorce on amazon

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get divorced if you plan to marry again. You get divorced if the relationship is irreparably broken, after trying to make it work. Those two things are separate.

This is true. Two completely separate issues. I’ve been divorced for about three years and have no intention of ever getting remarried, unless it is for practical purposes such as health insurance. I love my single life. I’m 46 and I’ll be an empty nester in the fall. Kids come first but now I’m a close second. Planning on taking an overseas work assignment once the youngest is out of the house. Honestly I have no regrets. The only thing that changed after my divorce was I shed a grown man-child and my house is much cleaner. I was very fortunate in that I have my own money and he remarried very quickly to a very rich woman.