Anonymous
Post 02/01/2020 08:52     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Anonymous wrote:This is her second baby, her oldest is 13. Should I throw a baby shower for her or would it be considered tacky because it’s her second baby?


No! Baby showers are for FIRST BABY ONLY. NO EXCEPTIONS!
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 19:37     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Anonymous wrote:I plan to throw a small one for my neighbor who is expecting her 3rd after an 8 year gap. Just the moms from the neighborhood and maybe one or two soccer moms.

Babies are wonderful and should be celebrated! Plus it gives us an excuse to shop in the infant section, a place we haven’t been to in years and buy tiny clothes!

People can still choose to buy if they want, but they shouldn’t be required to via a shower for a second baby.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 19:35     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don't you do a brunch at a restaurant where everyone pays for themselves and you all split the cost of her meal? People will probably bring gifts or gift cards.


This is even tackier!


Whatever you choose, don’t do this!

My sister and I are 13yrs apart (perimenopause baby) and my mom’s friends threw her a small shower. It was mostly diapers, clothes p, and misc. small stuff. I think she would have been embarrassed to get big ticket items. I do remember she was very touched that her friends were there to support her after the shock of a surprise baby.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 19:25     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Anonymous wrote:Why don't you do a brunch at a restaurant where everyone pays for themselves and you all split the cost of her meal? People will probably bring gifts or gift cards.


This is even tackier!
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 19:24     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
No, second babies don’t need showers.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 19:17     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Why don't you do a brunch at a restaurant where everyone pays for themselves and you all split the cost of her meal? People will probably bring gifts or gift cards.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 17:29     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I certainly wouldn't. I didn't want any for my kids. It's not quite right to celebrate before the birth.


troll


Wow. PP are you not aware that some cultures esp Jewish think it's bad luck to celebrate a baby before it's born?? Some people's traditions is to not even buy anything for the baby.

Not everyone is the same. That doesn't make them a troll.


OP probably would have mentioned if her friend didn't have a baby shower for her first baby because of her religious beliefs, don't you think?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 16:54     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Anonymous wrote:Assuming she has no baby stuff since kid #1 is 13 yrs old, it would be fine to have a shower. Part of the celebration is having guests chip in and buy you baby items which she clearly needs, no?


The negativity in this case from ppl really surprises me. But then if I was actually friends with this person I would be delighted to buy her baby a gift and to go to a party. I buy gifts all my friends babies, even the ones who dont have showers or when its not practical to invite me bc we live far apart.

Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 14:12     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Assuming she has no baby stuff since kid #1 is 13 yrs old, it would be fine to have a shower. Part of the celebration is having guests chip in and buy you baby items which she clearly needs, no?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 14:11     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not tacky. And with a 13 year age gap, she probably has a lot of new friends who weren’t there for the first shower. My oldest is 8 and there were already so many different things when I had my last baby, I can imagine even if she saved things, nothing would meet current safety standards. I would have zero problem going and bringing a gift. If someone doesn’t want to go, they can RSVP no.


+1 I’m all for etiquette rules and adamantly refused my MIL’s attempts to give me a shower for my second, but that big of an age gap the mom probably needs new everything. If she is really worried about people thinking it is greedy, I guess she could decline to register for big ticket items like a stroller, but honestly I think it’s fine.


The mom would certainly need a new car seat and crib to comply with the latest safety standards.

My MIL threw me a shower in CT because they didn't want to have to leave to come down here for the one my BFF threw. And none of my DH's aunts and uncles or cousins wanted to drive that far either. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that they aren't that into my kids now...
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 14:08     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I certainly wouldn't. I didn't want any for my kids. It's not quite right to celebrate before the birth.


troll


Wow. PP are you not aware that some cultures esp Jewish think it's bad luck to celebrate a baby before it's born?? Some people's traditions is to not even buy anything for the baby.

Not everyone is the same. That doesn't make them a troll.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 13:18     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
I agree with 13:14. OP you could ask for friend for some big ticket preferences in case some of the invitees wanna chip in and buy one gift together.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 13:14     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Anonymous wrote:Not tacky. And with a 13 year age gap, she probably has a lot of new friends who weren’t there for the first shower. My oldest is 8 and there were already so many different things when I had my last baby, I can imagine even if she saved things, nothing would meet current safety standards. I would have zero problem going and bringing a gift. If someone doesn’t want to go, they can RSVP no.


+1 I’m all for etiquette rules and adamantly refused my MIL’s attempts to give me a shower for my second, but that big of an age gap the mom probably needs new everything. If she is really worried about people thinking it is greedy, I guess she could decline to register for big ticket items like a stroller, but honestly I think it’s fine.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 12:44     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Anonymous wrote:I personally think it is tacky, especially if she registers. That said, I think you could organize something like a girls night out with the mother to be for dinner, and if people are inclined to do a gift, have them bring a book.


As someone who is 20 weeks pregnant, I would NOT want a girls night out. LOL
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2020 12:43     Subject: Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?
Anonymous wrote:I certainly wouldn't. I didn't want any for my kids. It's not quite right to celebrate before the birth.


troll