Anonymous wrote:Completely messed up. Sorry you have no close personal relationships. With humans.

You're a dick.

No. I completely understand. Your cat was in your life, every single day, for many many many years. You cared for that cat every single day. Great aunt Judy? Sure, you cared about her, but she didn’t live with you for 10 or 15 years, did she? I am very sorry for your loss. It sounds like your cat was really really special.

It's very common. I was a wreck when my dad died. I was an absolute wreck when my childhood cat died when I was in college. To the point it became a family joke a decade later not to bring up the cat's name around me because I would burst into tears.

My dad was this way with his last cat. I feel bad I kind of brushed it off. He was retired and very close to that cat. He said he would never get another cat because he was in his 70s and it would outlive him. My dad died from cancer a few years later---and when he was becoming incoherent--he mentioned the cat. We joked he loved that cat more than the rest of us. I am convinced the cancer came back from the stress of losing that cat. Hopefully- they are reunited in heaven

You know, when some people die, it's not always a shock, it may be expected because they are very elderly, or very sick. Even outside of those instances, you had a particular relationship with a person who died, and you may have loved them, but they weren't with you every day and you weren't codependent like a pet is. An animal is a creature who relies on you every minute for everything, you are it's whole world. It's a lot of psychological real estate, especially when you are also the one who, more often than not, has to kill it. That comes with trauma and guilt, regardless of how necessary it is. And they are not here for long.

You are never in that position with an elderly parent. You may love them, but psychologically there's been a physical and emotional separation, and you are never responsible for how they die.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father cried when our family dog died. He did not cry when his father died. THAT is messed up.

Distant relatives you'd see once a year and had no substantial relationship with? Don't give it another thought. I'm so sorry about your cat.

It really isn't messed up. Some people push their emotions down in order to get through the public events surrounding a loved ones death. It is what I do. But I cry in private. Just because you didn't see him cry over his dad, does not mean that he didn't cry.

Nope. He didn't cry. I lived with him at the time, I asked him, and I double-checked with my mom. Dude is cold as ice.

If he cried when his dog died he's not cold as ice.

My three siblings and I did not cry when our dad died. He was a lousy dad. My grandmother thought it was weird that none of us were very sad, we told her he had died to us a long time ago.

I have a hospital job in which a patient dies right in front of me — maybe even under my hands — about once every two weeks. I never feel like crying and I never have.

When my dog died a couple of years ago while I was at work (DH called to tell me he found the body), I locked myself in a shower room and cried there for an hour. Like, dry heaving. I still choke up, thinking about that dog.

Sorry OP.

I've lost several dogs over the years, and we were devastated, but my last dog that we had to put down suddenly almost killed me. It was 4 years ago. I was walking around in a haze for months. He developed an insudious quick moving cancer and and was bleeding to death internally. I had really no warning. To this day, I tend to cry if he crosses my mind. I loved him and that is all there is to it. He loved me for loving him...he was a mangy rescue mutt with horrible teeth- but such a wonderful gift to me at what was probably the most difficult time in my life- I lost both of my parents, whose decline was so hard, I developed a heart problem, and work was hell.

I really don't care what category people put various instances of grief. Grief is grief. Love is love.

Anonymous wrote:I felt the same way.. you have to have a pet to understand.

I agree. We had to put the best cat ever down in 2018. I miss him desperately and think about him pretty much every day. I would give a lot to have him back, and his death has hit me harder than other more objectively tragic things I’ve experienced in my life.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I get it and it sucks.

I felt the same way.. you have to have a pet to understand.

OP, there is NOTHING wrong or abnormal about your reaction - not in ANY way. So sorry for your loss, which is a very real one. We've been there.

Anonymous wrote:Same. My dog’s death was beyond devastating. Dad’s was sad, but he was suffering, and we weren’t that close.

He was responsible for your presence on this earth but whatever.

Completely messed up. Sorry you have no close personal relationships. With humans.

I am always sadder about the deaths of animals than of humans. I was extremely sad when my parents died. Other relatives, or people in general... not so much.

Anonymous wrote:Yes you are a terrible person. People eat cats in some countries by the way.

Didn't know people ate cats. Dogs yes, but cats?

I guess it depends on how poor the country is. I love dogs, but I can see why some poor, starving person would eat their dog or their cats.

I admit I felt more grief when my cat died because I was closer to the cat than my mom. My mom never hugged me or said she loved me, plus she was mentally ill.