Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one horrified that anyone would NOT be nice to a child???

If the kid is a brat, I ignore them. If at my home and kid is a brat, I will suggest that it is time for you to leave and I will never invite kid to another play date.

That pretty much sums me up too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one horrified that anyone would NOT be nice to a child???

I don't understand this thread. Were you not nice to kids before you were a parent? I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not sure what OP does differently than anyone else or differently than before she was a parent?

Np. Before I had kids I lived in DC. I rarely saw children and could go weeks without seeing them. They weren’t in groceries stores, rarely in restaurants (I did mostly go to happy hour places, not touristy) and I didn’t see them on the streets. I think that’s pretty typical and the way society is going. There will be kid cities where kids are allowed and then adult cities bereft of kids. My friends who didn’t have kids really don’t know anything about children and can’t imagine having a conversation with one.

Oh and before anyone says it’s a millennial thing to hate kids, the vast majority of nastiness that my kids get comes from the 50-80 age range. They’ve done their time with kids and now don’t want to see or hear them ever again. Not sure where the nice grandmas are that I remembered as a kid. My son was getting tired of waiting for food in a restaurant last night (but not making noise or misbehaving) and an elderly woman near me thanked me for taking him out. Said kids don’t get enough spankings or time out anymore. I was shocked. My son had been coloring quietly but I thought he could use a nice walk before dinner. I couldn’t even think of a retort.

Op here:
so I was always kind and nice but didn't care so much. Now I feel like I go out of my way to be kind. I don't complain about any child, not even the bratty ones. I just give benefit of doubt now more. I think now I really have this "it takes a village" mentality that PP talks about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one horrified that anyone would NOT be nice to a child???

I don't understand this thread. Were you not nice to kids before you were a parent? I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not sure what OP does differently than anyone else or differently than before she was a parent?

Np. Before I had kids I lived in DC. I rarely saw children and could go weeks without seeing them. They weren’t in groceries stores, rarely in restaurants (I did mostly go to happy hour places, not touristy) and I didn’t see them on the streets. I think that’s pretty typical and the way society is going. There will be kid cities where kids are allowed and then adult cities bereft of kids. My friends who didn’t have kids really don’t know anything about children and can’t imagine having a conversation with one.

No I rarely see strangers being nice to my kids not even as babies. Americans are just assholes to children. When we travel internationally, the locals just love children. It doesn’t matter where we go. Hispanics especially love children. My kids are so well behaved but people groan when we go into a restaurant. They push my kids when going up stairs. I rarely even get the door held for me when I have a stroller. I think Americans generally just want kids in daycare or asleep, never in public.

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one horrified that anyone would NOT be nice to a child???

If the kid is a brat, I ignore them. If at my home and kid is a brat, I will suggest that it is time for you to leave and I will never invite kid to another play date.

I took music lessons as a child and we were taught to approach the other students after the concert and compliment specific things about their playing. I will frequently now compliment the other children studying music with my children, telling them that I enjoyed the way they played with feeling, etc. Will also tell another parent how much I enjoyed their child's performance, how much they have grown musically since last year.

I have been amazed, however, at the degree to which people don't compliment other people's kids and I do think it's because some parents will regard another talented or smart child (in any field, sports, etc.) as a "competitor" to their own child. I have actually wondered if such people kind of wish your child would fall down and break their leg so that Tamara could get their spot on the soccer team.

I don't actually see a whole lot of "it takes a village" in these parts.

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one horrified that anyone would NOT be nice to a child???

I don't understand this thread. Were you not nice to kids before you were a parent? I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not sure what OP does differently than anyone else or differently than before she was a parent?

Anonymous wrote:yeah this feels confusing to me, isn't it the norm to generally be kind to people, including children? And I find the pp who said they are less kind here than they are in their hometown just such a bizarre response. I also just do not have this experience in close-in suburbs that people are cold like I think that is implying. There is lots of friendly discussion at our playground and I would never hesitate to be helpful or kind to another child. But as other pps have said I certainly don't do it because I want others to be nice to mine. I do it because it's just the normal thing to do and how to treat humans?

Well ironically upon reflection my response could have been softer and kinder. I guess I find it a little bit concerning that others are talking about kindness as a quid pro quo. And sad that someone feels they shouldn't be extra friendly to kids in this area. We all do view the world from our own lenses and experience though.

yeah this feels confusing to me, isn't it the norm to generally be kind to people, including children? And I find the pp who said they are less kind here than they are in their hometown just such a bizarre response. I also just do not have this experience in close-in suburbs that people are cold like I think that is implying. There is lots of friendly discussion at our playground and I would never hesitate to be helpful or kind to another child. But as other pps have said I certainly don't do it because I want others to be nice to mine. I do it because it's just the normal thing to do and how to treat humans?

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one horrified that anyone would NOT be nice to a child???

This! Of course I am nice to children and try to help if I see a child in need. But I don't do it because I am worried that if I don't something bad will happen to my children. I do it because it's the right thing to do.

Anonymous wrote:I don't totally understand your question, but "being nice" to someone does not always mean "helping someone." I don't know the context in which you tried to help someone else's kid, but sometimes my kid needs to learn how to do something independently, even if it looks like he's struggling at first and I'm being "mean" by not helping.

Agreed. I’ve watched a child look at a ladder, decide not to try (good choice) and another parent or nanny swoops in to put the kid up on a structure they can’t handle. That’s not kind/nice, nor is it helpful.

I’ve watched a child trip while running in grass, look around to see if anyone is watching, and pick themself up. There was no crying until some other parent/nanny rushed over to soothe them. Nothing skinned or bruised, child was perfectly fine (and they were learning to evaluate that).

It’s ridiculous. Take care of the child with you. They’re is an adult with the child you want to “help,” so let them help, if needed.

No, I am nice to other people's kids and help them if needed because I'm a decent human, not because I'm keeping score with the universe.

Yes, of course. It's my job as a person to help other kids and be kind and show them they are cared for. I don't know that I felt this much before I became a parent, but it's natural to me now. I also expect others to help my kids when they need it if I'm not right there.

OP here,
Oh yeah another thing thanks to PP above, I don't criticize other kids either (I give benefit of doubt). I go out of the way to be nice to other kids, basically I try to help them as much as I can. Things in my life (its been few tough years) have made me empathetic and just considerate.
I was just wondering if other people think like that.