Anonymous wrote:Zero. I get kids to daycare, commute, work, commute, get kids in bed, work, sleep.

Not sustainable.

I used to be this. Can you take a day, even a half day while they're at daycare for yourself? I used to work for the government and I loved the federal holidays that no one else had off like Veteran's Day. I took those days all to myself. I hope it gets better for you.

I have a 7 yr old and I am a single parent. Except for the time he is at school and his once a week hour long sports practice, I am in charge. I have him the rest of the time.

2 kids, one in pre-K and one in 2nd. I'm a SAHM. I have 2.5 hrs in the morning during the week that I'm free, and on occasional weekends, I'll get anywhere from 2-5 hrs free time. I use that free time to do all the errands, clean/organize the house, yard work, laundry, social/school planning, volunteer, run/workout. If I can wake up at 5:30am- I also get an extra hour and a half free time to run, relax with a cup of coffee, and plan my day. And occasionally I'll stay up late after kids are in bed and house cleaned up, to watch tv for an hour.

If I'm not counting the housekeeping, errands, laundry, volunteer, and planning time - then it's more like anywhere from 10-80 mins a day.

On the weekends we trade off and DH takes the morning and I take the afternoon or vice versa. So that's a chunk of maybe 3 hours of free time.

During the week I usually have one evening "free" while DH does pick up, dinner and bed routine, although that free is sometimes a work event or a non-fun thing that needs to be done like dentist appointments. But sometimes it's going out with friends or shopping or the like.

Anonymous wrote:I think any time not working or directly responsible for children is free time to me. And honestly, sitting down at my desk on Monday morning often feels like freedom as well. Watching TV while DS plays is not free time, because I can’t watch grown up shows, he always wants something, constantly talks, climbs all over me, etc. Going alone to the dentist is way more relaxing.

. Your child is small. Soon enough he will be playing outside with friends, and you can watch whatever you want.

Kids are 7, 5, and 3. Until about 3 months ago I was piddling away time and couldn't have counted it because it was five minutes here, ten minutes there. Now I've worked to consolidate it by using my spare ten minutes throughout the day to get chores done and I get probably 30-45 minutes a night about 5 nights a week (the other two usually have leftover laundry or some sort of other chore). Having that 30 minutes of reading time instead of spending the time on other things has been huge for my mental health.

Commuting honestly feels like free time. I alternate between listening to what I want and blissful silence. That would be about an hour a week total (short commute and part time work).

I have 3yo twins, and I just now started to take some time for myself. I work out three times a week and this is my time! Before that, it was zero.

I think any time not working or directly responsible for children is free time to me. And honestly, sitting down at my desk on Monday morning often feels like freedom as well. Watching TV while DS plays is not free time, because I can’t watch grown up shows, he always wants something, constantly talks, climbs all over me, etc. Going alone to the dentist is way more relaxing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would I count errands & grocery shopping as part of my free time? Feeding children is a required task. Dealing with inconsiderate shoppers, out of stock items that require me to re-plan meals on the fly in aisle 4 and generally being in the grocery store is not relaxing or for me. This is weird.

I agree. I definitely consider watching Netflix on the couch while kids are playing or sleeping free time, and I do not consider grocery shopping or errands as free time.
I am guessing that OP is a new mom and feels like things she did pre-kid are free time because she just feels normal when she does them. Whereas sitting at home on a Friday night binge-watching friends does not feel normal.

I feel like the question should have been, "How many hours do you spend outside of the house alone?" Free time is not picking up prescriptions or filling the gas tank. ITA that free time can be had in the home. I will go lay down to read and tell no one to bother me until x time. Yes, the children could have an emergency, but they could call with a problem while at the salon or grocery store too.

Anonymous wrote:Why would I count errands & grocery shopping as part of my free time? Feeding children is a required task. Dealing with inconsiderate shoppers, out of stock items that require me to re-plan meals on the fly in aisle 4 and generally being in the grocery store is not relaxing or for me. This is weird.

I agree. I definitely consider watching Netflix on the couch while kids are playing or sleeping free time, and I do not consider grocery shopping or errands as free time.
I am guessing that OP is a new mom and feels like things she did pre-kid are free time because she just feels normal when she does them. Whereas sitting at home on a Friday night binge-watching friends does not feel normal.

2 kids. 4 and 5 months.
Before the second I (And dh) got a whole weekend evening and day every 2 weeks as my parents took the oldest to their house for one day and overnight.
Now they still do that but we have the baby. We trade off who chills with her and who does whatever. Be it groceries or gym or lunch with a friend. I do count grocery time since I happen to enjoy it. So maybe 5 hrs a week? I to take off work early sometimes to run pleasant to me errands and dh takes a day off here or there to work on some writing while kids are in preschool and with the nanny.
We had a nanny for a long time so didn't have to spend pto on kid mild sick days and have another one now for those.

Why would I count errands & grocery shopping as part of my free time? Feeding children is a required task. Dealing with inconsiderate shoppers, out of stock items that require me to re-plan meals on the fly in aisle 4 and generally being in the grocery store is not relaxing or for me. This is weird.

Anonymous wrote:Zero. I get kids to daycare, commute, work, commute, get kids in bed, work, sleep.

Not sustainable.

I have lived that life. I agree. It's not sustainable. Finally, I realized that it was almost as crazy as living paycheck to paycheck with no money in a savings account. We not only had no back-up in an emergency, we had no back-up when normal everyday things happened that threw us off our routine. A flat tire, a sick kid, even a colleague droning on too long at the end of a meeting could completely throw us in a tailspin.