Anonymous wrote:It is insulting. With his salary though, everything you do could be outsouced. He could hire someone to make dinner. He could hire a house cleaner. He could hire a nanny for the kids. What do you bring to the marriage that he can’t outsource?

Is that all a marriage to you? Commercial transaction? Is that why people get married?

This husband is a jerk and ready to divorce you. Get a lawyer and get your ducks in a row.

OP, I suspect there is someone else.

I am sorry.

Anonymous wrote:It is insulting. With his salary though, everything you do could be outsouced. He could hire someone to make dinner. He could hire a house cleaner. He could hire a nanny for the kids. What do you bring to the marriage that he can’t outsource?

So, you’re saying the only thing he contributes to the marriage is money? Yikes. I can only imagine how he treats his kids. It’s a good thing he makes a good salary because with a father/husband like that, they are all going to need therapy - and lots of it!

He just asked this out the blue?
Y'all have been getting along fabulously...enjoying time with one another, still got romance going on, no squabbles no communication issues...
Just out the blue he asks you to specify what value you bring.

Sounds like some kind of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

“You go first” would be my response.

Did you ask him why he wanted the list? I am so curious about his answer and how he defends himself. He sounds like a total assh*le. But my guess is you already knew that. My husband makes more than that and I don’t work and we definitely have rocky times. He would never dream of asked me what value I provide. I would divorce him - I’m guessing he is disrespectful and demeaning every day?

Anonymous wrote:Your marriage is over.

It was insulting. He doesn't respect you or anything you bring to the table, with a question like that.

Get to the lawyer before he does. Protect your assets.

+1

Your marriage is over.

It was insulting. He doesn't respect you or anything you bring to the table, with a question like that.

Get to the lawyer before he does. Protect your assets.

Anonymous wrote:Make his list...

1. Tolerate your bullsh*t
2. See #1

This. Honestly, I’d move to separate and hire a nasty lawyer. Do not give him a serious response. If he doesn’t want to be married, so be it. You’re not going to change his mind.

OP, that’s not a marriage. That’s a commercial transaction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I'm the mother of your children, I have a good job, I do my fair share of household duties, and if you don't value seeing your children each and every day and giving them a whole family, then I think we're pretty much done here."

OK. But if the average DCUM husband told his wife, "I'm the father of your children, I do my fair share, and I enable you to see your children and give them a whole family," I doubt the DCUM consensus would regard that as sufficient.

If a man came in here saying his wife had assigned him the task of writing out his value proposition to the marriage I think the consensus would also be that she was a jerk

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I'm the mother of your children, I have a good job, I do my fair share of household duties, and if you don't value seeing your children each and every day and giving them a whole family, then I think we're pretty much done here."

OK. But if the average DCUM husband told his wife, "I'm the father of your children, I do my fair share, and I enable you to see your children and give them a whole family," I doubt the DCUM consensus would regard that as sufficient.

Uh, and he has a good job?

What about it? Men with good jobs, who are good fathers, get handed divorce papers all the time.

It is insulting. With his salary though, everything you do could be outsouced. He could hire someone to make dinner. He could hire a house cleaner. He could hire a nanny for the kids. What do you bring to the marriage that he can’t outsource?

Anonymous wrote:I would file divorce papers in response to being asked to provide a list this. And I'd tell him that i provided value by not asking to live in a separate house and get child support payments until now.

"My only value is I don't cost you money" is not really a sound basis for a marriage.

If it's actually true, well, you're done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I'm the mother of your children, I have a good job, I do my fair share of household duties, and if you don't value seeing your children each and every day and giving them a whole family, then I think we're pretty much done here."

OK. But if the average DCUM husband told his wife, "I'm the father of your children, I do my fair share, and I enable you to see your children and give them a whole family," I doubt the DCUM consensus would regard that as sufficient.

Uh, and he has a good job?