Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:49     Subject: Re:Can you buy a house without a job?
Anonymous wrote:Won't it be obvious he's financially controlling if I have 1/4 of what he has? He's no Jeff Bezos, but has a reasonably high salary.


Again, what does this mean? You will have half of the marital assets, not 1/4
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:49     Subject: Re:Can you buy a house without a job?
Anonymous wrote:Won't it be obvious he's financially controlling if I have 1/4 of what he has? He's no Jeff Bezos, but has a reasonably high salary.


Why are you entitled to his income? I don't even understand what you're saying.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:48     Subject: Re:Can you buy a house without a job?
Won't it be obvious he's financially controlling if I have 1/4 of what he has? He's no Jeff Bezos, but has a reasonably high salary.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:46     Subject: Re:Can you buy a house without a job?
Anonymous wrote:I've already seen a lawyer, so I'm just basing the spousal support estimate off what they told me.


And you probably will get that amount but you might not get it for a long time. My mom went through this recently and it took about a year. Luckily she stayed in the marital home or there would have been a problem.

She also couldn’t re-finance the home based on alimony and her part time job. Couldn’t qualify.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:46     Subject: Can you buy a house without a job?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are getting divorced, how can you plan on not being employed going forward? You will have to get a job.


I don't get this either.


It would be easier if I got the house we live in, but he had it before we were married. It seems easier for him to move since he has a job, but he claims he wants the house. Say I gets spousal support for 7 years, which would be enough to live off of, and a buyout for my share of the house which might be equal to a downpayment. In 7 years, my savings doubles. Then I could use that money to pay for house payments. Also, does my share of the retirement money have to stay in retirement, or could I use it now? I've already been out of the work force for almost a decade. My own retirement money might be enough for retirement, not even counting my share of his. Say I have 15 years before retirement age, and half of that will be covered by spousal support. I'd only have to work like 8 years. One kid is still in elementary school, so it makes working full time difficult for a few more years.


OP, I posted before that you need to consult with an attorney. Do this immediately. You seem to be conflating your preferences with the law. Just because you don't want to work while your child is in elementary school doesn't mean that a judge will award your husband to pay you enough alimony so you don't have to. Sometimes a judge will award a lump sum to cover you for a brief period while you look for work, but it's highly unlikely that you'll be awarded living expenses for 7-8 years unless it's part of existing marital assets.

Your husband clearly isn't looking out for your best interest with his wanting to keep the only home you have a chance of owning. Meet with an attorney now. I mean this kindly but you have no clue and you need professional legal help. I'm saying this so you go get help so you get off this path that's likely to result in you getting screwed.


He bought the home before they even married.

There's no logical or financial reason for him to just hand it over.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:43     Subject: Re:Can you buy a house without a job?
Anonymous wrote:I worked half the marriage and invested my money. He just never shared much of what should have been half mine.


What does this even mean?
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:42     Subject: Re:Can you buy a house without a job?
I've already seen a lawyer, so I'm just basing the spousal support estimate off what they told me.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:41     Subject: Re:Can you buy a house without a job?
Anonymous wrote:I worked half the marriage and invested my money. He just never shared much of what should have been half mine.


That won't make a judge award you half his future earnings.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:33     Subject: Re:Can you buy a house without a job?
I worked half the marriage and invested my money. He just never shared much of what should have been half mine.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:32     Subject: Can you buy a house without a job?
OP I don’t know how much time you’ve spent with a divorce lawyer yet but I think you might be unpleasantly surprised for how long it can take to finally get a support check.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:32     Subject: Can you buy a house without a job?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are getting divorced, how can you plan on not being employed going forward? You will have to get a job.


I don't get this either.


It would be easier if I got the house we live in, but he had it before we were married. It seems easier for him to move since he has a job, but he claims he wants the house. Say I gets spousal support for 7 years, which would be enough to live off of, and a buyout for my share of the house which might be equal to a downpayment. In 7 years, my savings doubles. Then I could use that money to pay for house payments. Also, does my share of the retirement money have to stay in retirement, or could I use it now? I've already been out of the work force for almost a decade. My own retirement money might be enough for retirement, not even counting my share of his. Say I have 15 years before retirement age, and half of that will be covered by spousal support. I'd only have to work like 8 years. One kid is still in elementary school, so it makes working full time difficult for a few more years.


OP, I posted before that you need to consult with an attorney. Do this immediately. You seem to be conflating your preferences with the law. Just because you don't want to work while your child is in elementary school doesn't mean that a judge will award your husband to pay you enough alimony so you don't have to. Sometimes a judge will award a lump sum to cover you for a brief period while you look for work, but it's highly unlikely that you'll be awarded living expenses for 7-8 years unless it's part of existing marital assets.

Your husband clearly isn't looking out for your best interest with his wanting to keep the only home you have a chance of owning. Meet with an attorney now. I mean this kindly but you have no clue and you need professional legal help. I'm saying this so you go get help so you get off this path that's likely to result in you getting screwed.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:31     Subject: Can you buy a house without a job?
Also, the things you are saying here sound an awful lot like an intention to be willfully unemployed, which he could easily use in court to reduce or eliminate spousal support and reduce child support
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:28     Subject: Can you buy a house without a job?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are getting divorced, how can you plan on not being employed going forward? You will have to get a job.


I don't get this either.


It would be easier if I got the house we live in, but he had it before we were married. It seems easier for him to move since he has a job, but he claims he wants the house. Say I gets spousal support for 7 years, which would be enough to live off of, and a buyout for my share of the house which might be equal to a downpayment. In 7 years, my savings doubles. Then I could use that money to pay for house payments. Also, does my share of the retirement money have to stay in retirement, or could I use it now? I've already been out of the work force for almost a decade. My own retirement money might be enough for retirement, not even counting my share of his. Say I have 15 years before retirement age, and half of that will be covered by spousal support. I'd only have to work like 8 years. One kid is still in elementary school, so it makes working full time difficult for a few more years.


Whether you can withdraw from the retirement fund entirely depends on the rules of the plan. It may be possible or it may be impossible. There may be taxes plus a 10% early withdrawal penalty. In general, I would NOT automatically assume you can access the retirement money before you retire.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:23     Subject: Re:Can you buy a house without a job?
This is why you should never be financially dependent on another person once you are an adult. Why do you think you will plenty of money coming to you in the divorce?
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2020 11:21     Subject: Can you buy a house without a job?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are getting divorced, how can you plan on not being employed going forward? You will have to get a job.


I don't get this either.


It would be easier if I got the house we live in, but he had it before we were married. It seems easier for him to move since he has a job, but he claims he wants the house. Say I gets spousal support for 7 years, which would be enough to live off of, and a buyout for my share of the house which might be equal to a downpayment. In 7 years, my savings doubles. Then I could use that money to pay for house payments. Also, does my share of the retirement money have to stay in retirement, or could I use it now? I've already been out of the work force for almost a decade. My own retirement money might be enough for retirement, not even counting my share of his. Say I have 15 years before retirement age, and half of that will be covered by spousal support. I'd only have to work like 8 years. One kid is still in elementary school, so it makes working full time difficult for a few more years.


You can't work full time because you have a kid in elementary school? What the actual f?