Same for us, OP, we spend the same for all parties except for best friends.

And I'm one of them throwing what others would probably call over the top parties. I've loved throwing parties since I was a little kid, even for totally made up things just so I could have something to plan and decorate for, long before pinterest let alone the internet, ha. It's just super fun for me and we are also lucky to have a budget that lets me plan what I want.

That's all to say that I would be horrified to think a family thought they had to pay via a more expensive gift or whatever to come to my kid's birthday party - you're invited because she loves you.

Nope. Their choice on their party. Why should some kids get more expensive gifts than kids from families who can't spend as much?

Anonymous wrote:Heck no. I get a $15-20 gift regardless.

+1

No - I do spend more on my child’s closest friends but never based on cost of party.

No. I spend $15-20. Maybe $25 for “best friend.” The birthday party racket is all so dumb anyway, especially the big whole class parties at a venue where the kids hardly see each other.

Ha - no. We so usually spend a bit more on closer friends, but not by how expensive a party might be.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I get a bigger gift. It makes sense.

No it doesn't. How would you know how much they spent? Having thrown a lot of birthday parties, I would doubt most people could accurately pinpoint the cost of each.

What? No. I have never once considered the cost of the party when choosing a gift. I figure it's up to every family how much they want to spend but that has nothing to do with what we get the child.

Nope. Your gift is fine

No, it's a gift, not an admission ticket. I sometimes give more expensive gifts when the recipient has a specific interest and a related gift would cost more.

Honestly yes I do give nicer gifts at nicer parties. It’s not a huge difference, but I might give a $10-15 gift for a casual home party (unless the birthday child is my kid’s close friend or it’s a 1st birthday party, then I’ll spend $20 or a bit over), but a nice play place party gets a $20-$25 gift. Even for just a classmate that my kid isn’t besties with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited to a party where parents are going over the top.

Do I need to give a bigger gift?

This is a 3yo party. I usually gift a $20 puzzle or toy (paw patrol, fire truck, Melissa Doug toys).

I give most to least in the following order:
Relative $40, family friend $35, child’s BFF for more than 2 years $30, child of adult’s close friend $25, child’s friend $20, random classmate/kid from activity $10

It helps to keep the budget in control. First four categories are naturally much smaller. And with as many invitations to parties as kids get?

This is... very tiered.

I wouldn't give any different for most of these and certainly not twice as much for a friend vs. a random classmate.

I guess I'd do more for the first 3 categories than the last 3, but not tremendously more. Maybe $20-25 vs. $15.

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited to a party where parents are going over the top.

Do I need to give a bigger gift?

This is a 3yo party. I usually gift a $20 puzzle or toy (paw patrol, fire truck, Melissa Doug toys).

I give most to least in the following order:
Relative $40, family friend $35, child’s BFF for more than 2 years $30, child of adult’s close friend $25, child’s friend $20, random classmate/kid from activity $10

It helps to keep the budget in control. First four categories are naturally much smaller. And with as many invitations to parties as kids get?

No. My budget for the party depends on how close we are to the birthday kid.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I get a bigger gift. It makes sense.

Miss Manners would be appalled.