Anonymous wrote:This is why i cut my mom off when my career started. I knew I had to get away to keep her from holding me back. I’ve always believed success is the best revenge.

Same. But I did not cut her out entirely - just put her at an extreme distance. The thing to be wary of is her, once you're successful, rewriting history - see, she was a great parent, look at how you turned out, etc. If I had it to do over again I would have just cut off the relationship entirely. Good luck to you, OP - you can do this, but not without distancing yourself and protecting yourself from her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason to keep up this relationship with your mother.

This exactly. Cut her out and go live your life, you are not a prisoner.

+2

That all sounds well and fine, but it’s not so easy to do.

Op, my mother is verbally abusive. My sister describes it as sticky like hot candy. Once you get it on you, it’s sticky and difficult to get it off. You can limit the power of her words by going to therapy and distancing yourself. Therapy is very, very important.

My mother was verbally abusive from time to time growing up and with early stages of dementia and stress because incredibly verbally abusive. At first it knocked me down, but then I got right up and became determined to thrive in spite of her and her comments. I know now she is not as in control and her brain is changing, but it still hurt. It also provided fuel. I have a relationship with her because there were many good things about her. if it was all abuse I would not be in contact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason to keep up this relationship with your mother.

This exactly. Cut her out and go live your life, you are not a prisoner.

+2

This is why i cut my mom off when my career started. I knew I had to get away to keep her from holding me back. I’ve always believed success is the best revenge.

Staying away from her and being around normal people restored my faith in myself. Going to Adult Children Anonymous was more helpful to me than therapy. Plus it’s free. But you need and deserve to get outside help.

Your failure is your problem
Five minutes or a lifetime of verbal abuse doesn't make a difference. You, and only you, have the power in your life. Stop blaming other people!

I hope you do have ADD since that is very treatable.

Your mother needs to let go. She did her best, now you are an adult and need to do your best.