Have you ever had sex?
Are you religious?
What's your reasoning?

It’s not... You could suck in bed and he will then bail or he will suck in bed, then you will bail...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy who will wait for marriage in 2020:
1. Such low sex drive that sex doesn't matter to him
2. So unattractive / inept with women he has no other choice
3. Lying to you about waiting while he gets it elsewhere

Marrying any of these men will result in a marriage that fails.

You don't want to marry a man who will wait for marriage.

Given the near-constant threads about wives who would be happy to go the rest of their lives without sex, or view it to be a chore, this is not true.

It is true for those women... until it isn't. What they are really saying is they'd be happy never to have sex again with their boring low-drive husbands. But as soon as they get an expression of sexual interest from an attractive man, boom, suddenly they realize that their husband is inadequate, they resent him for neglecting her sexually, and they cheat or get divorced. Marriage fails. And then they go crazy sexually, at least for a while.

Anonymous wrote:Traditionally the people that waited till they were married tended to marry young.

If you are willing to wait years, it is because you have a low sex drive, or are gay. It is that simple, I am afraid.

This nailed it. Back on the early 20th century when people waited until marriage they got married literally weeks or months after meeting. My parents did. And were married 62 years until my father died. Very happy couple. My mom told me that’s one reason all her friends got married at 17 to 19 after months of getting to know the guy.

Waiting years is a sign of something wrong with him.

I would advise you to look at the many recent threads about sexual compatibility and how it is ruining marriages. And then think twice about this arrangement. It is odd since I can’t tell what exactly would be driving you to this decision.

There isn’t some prize for waiting until marriage.

Traditionally the people that waited till they were married tended to marry young.

If you are willing to wait years, it is because you have a low sex drive, or are gay. It is that simple, I am afraid.

I agree with some others that typically if a guy is willing to wait years for sex then he has some reason other than simply values or religion. As a woman I would not even consider such an arrangement and I would not advise my kids to do such a thing either. The chances that the guy is hiding something that is a marriage-breaker are very high.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy who will wait for marriage in 2020:
1. Such low sex drive that sex doesn't matter to him
2. So unattractive / inept with women he has no other choice
3. Lying to you about waiting while he gets it elsewhere

Marrying any of these men will result in a marriage that fails.

You don't want to marry a man who will wait for marriage.

Given the near-constant threads about wives who would be happy to go the rest of their lives without sex, or view it to be a chore, this is not true.

I wish one of them had married my husband (hyper-religious virgin at 30+) before I did. He is definitely in the first category.

What is driving this? Your original post says you’re “willing” to wait until marriage, and that he said he’s “willing” to wait with you. So who is it that actually wants to wait until marriage, and why isn’t that person owning that preference?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please reconsider, for both of your's sake. Sexual compatibility is absolutely crucial to a marriage survival. This is far too important for either of you to just roll the dice.

To answer your question: it would be uterlly impossible for a normal man to wait 2-3 years without sex.

It sounds like they are very compatible. They’ve been dating for months and haven’t been in each others’ place or haD any privacy. They are credible discussing not having sex for several years. Out of the dating pool and happy with each other. This is a win for everybody.

+100

Anonymous wrote:Please reconsider, for both of your's sake. Sexual compatibility is absolutely crucial to a marriage survival. This is far too important for either of you to just roll the dice.

To answer your question: it would be uterlly impossible for a normal man to wait 2-3 years without sex.

Is the same okay for a woman?

Anonymous wrote:A guy who will wait for marriage in 2020:
1. Such low sex drive that sex doesn't matter to him
2. So unattractive / inept with women he has no other choice
3. Lying to you about waiting while he gets it elsewhere

Marrying any of these men will result in a marriage that fails.

You don't want to marry a man who will wait for marriage.

Given the near-constant threads about wives who would be happy to go the rest of their lives without sex, or view it to be a chore, this is not true.

Anonymous wrote:Please reconsider, for both of your's sake. Sexual compatibility is absolutely crucial to a marriage survival. This is far too important for either of you to just roll the dice.

To answer your question: it would be uterlly impossible for a normal man to wait 2-3 years without sex.

It sounds like they are very compatible. They’ve been dating for months and haven’t been in each others’ place or haD any privacy. They are credible discussing not having sex for several years. Out of the dating pool and happy with each other. This is a win for everybody.

If you're close to 30. Most people date for less than a year before getting engaged and then another year or so right Er married. Since everyone is an adult. From what I hear and myself most have sex about 3 months in or so and that's on the long side. Sexual compatibility is such a big thing in my opinion that it's important to sort it out before marriage commitment.

This is weird and not normal adult behavior- being in a "relationship" for years and not having sex. Unless you are a religious fundamentalist, waiting years until marriage to have sex when you are a mature, self sufficient, independent adult is not a good idea. Wait until you are both serious and committed, but sexual compatibility is an important factor in deciding if you want to spend your life going to bed next to that person.