Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:45     Subject: Re:Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.


OP here. All of DH's vacations have to be scheduled in advance and he cannot take any last minute days off from work. In the 15 years he's been in this job, he only took one last minute day off, when he had a bad flu.

It just seems like it would be a waste of money for us to get a full-time nanny or au pair, when we only need one for sick day/snow day coverage, or before and after care. Besides that, we don't need the nanny/au pair because kids are in full-day school. If I worked full-time the most I would make would be around 70 K per year. And I don't feel comfortable with a nanny or au pair for sick days.

The only reason I have such a high-paying 5 hour a week job is because it's a PRN job (no benefits, as needed work) so they have to pay a lot per hour since otherwise no one would be interested in this type of job.

I've been sending out resumes and I've had a few interviews but overall, the part-time jobs in my field pay very poorly ($15 per hour at the most) and I seem to be overqualified for them, because I'm not getting many interviews for these part-time jobs.





You need one for summers. And school holidays.

We have a full-time nanny even though our kids are both in full-day school (i.e. 8-3:15). She takes them to school in the morning because it's out of the way for our offices (they're in private and the bus is not convenient for us), she takes them to their afternoon activities, and she is always available to pick them up from school early if needed (hence why we pay her full-time). During the day she's our stay-at-home mom. She helps clean up (we have a maid so our nanny does laundry and helps with organizing and picking up things plus items like vacuuming that need to be done more than once a week), she runs errands, preps food for meals, cooks, etc. I would rethink your policy for sick days. One of my kids came home last week because she had a stomach ache. She never threw up and was fine the next day. She was able to come home with the nanny and veg out watching shows in bed. I told her I would come home if she wanted or needed me (her dad said the same) but she was fine. Anyway, that doesn't solve your job-search problems, but I think you'd benefit from imaging what a full-time nanny would offer for you.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:45     Subject: Re:Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.


OP here. All of DH's vacations have to be scheduled in advance and he cannot take any last minute days off from work. In the 15 years he's been in this job, he only took one last minute day off, when he had a bad flu.

It just seems like it would be a waste of money for us to get a full-time nanny or au pair, when we only need one for sick day/snow day coverage, or before and after care. Besides that, we don't need the nanny/au pair because kids are in full-day school. If I worked full-time the most I would make would be around 70 K per year. And I don't feel comfortable with a nanny or au pair for sick days.

The only reason I have such a high-paying 5 hour a week job is because it's a PRN job (no benefits, as needed work) so they have to pay a lot per hour since otherwise no one would be interested in this type of job.

I've been sending out resumes and I've had a few interviews but overall, the part-time jobs in my field pay very poorly ($15 per hour at the most) and I seem to be overqualified for them, because I'm not getting many interviews for these part-time jobs.



[/quote


I am a single parent and I wish I made this much. It sounds like you don't want to work and that's fine as long as you have Plan B.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:40     Subject: Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Financially, your way better off keeping your 5 hour a week part time job and simply finding something else to occupy your time or interests such as volunteering.


This. You have an ideal situation. You are able to be home full time and take care of any and all sick days/snow days/holidays/teacher work days plus you still have your foot in the door working very part time at a very well paying job in your field.

I would keep on doing exactly what you're doing for now. Your husband can use his leave to go with you and the kids on nice family vacations and to visit out of state relatives.

Adding on more hours of work at quite possibly less pay per hour is only going to complicate your life and add a layer of stress that you quite frankly do not need. You can't compare yourself to a single parent because single parents almost always have full time back up childcare in place. In your situation, you do not have before/after school in place, you are the one who provides childcare on sick days/holidays/snow days and during the summer. If you went back to work even PT, 20 hours a week, you would have to find childcare every time a snow day/sick day came up...not to mention summer vacation/winter break/spring break.


OP here. Yes, it is a good situation and I would love it if they could give me more hours but they really cannot give me more than 5 per week. Working 5 hours per week just makes me feel like i'm stagnating. I'm bored. Yes, it's nice to have a foot in the door with this very part-time job, and my resume looks pretty good because I've had this 5 hour per week job for a few years now. But, my days feel lacking in purpose honestly--i spent all of my time cleaning/cooking/grocery shopping/shopping and meeting friends for lunch. I do all the domestic stuff.

Husband also works 70 hour weeks with weekly work travel.

If I did find another part-time job, it would have to be as flexible as the one I have now, where I can plan my hours according to my schedule. Ideally I would work 10-15 hours per week with the ability to take off for sick days/snow days and school breaks. Usually we plan a vacation week for school breaks and/or fly in the Grandparents--for winter break we take one week vacation and then fly in the grandparents for the second week, for example. We do summer camps for summer already so that is covered as my kids would be super bored at home.


Keep your 5 hour per week job and do volunteer work at the school. You can volunteer in the classroom (I did language arts, computer room, orchestra) plus you can volunteer for field trips, field day/other events and go to PTA meetings. Believe me, you will stay busy. Getting an extra 5 or so hours of paid worth is not worth turning your life upside to make it happen.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:37     Subject: Re:Is it worth it for me to work?
Your husband sounds like quite the pampered prince, OP. Never troubled by the realities of having kids (although I’m sure the family photo is a nice accessory on his desk), everyone else runs their lives around getting the five weeks of vacation he “needs” to relax from his job.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:33     Subject: Is it worth it for me to work?
OP, it's pretty clear from your posts that you don't want to work. You are making excuses for why it won't work, but there are really straightforward solutions to all of them. It's totally fine if you don't want to, but don't pretend it's not realistic to work. That $70k/year full time job would more than pay for before/after care + summer camps, and you could do snow day camps and take sick days when your kid is sick (less and less as they age).

That said, if you are happy with the way things are, I wouldn't go back to work full time. There is value in being able to get household stuff done during the week so weekends are family time. There is a mental relief to not having to scramble to find care on snow days. It sounds like what you have is working for your family.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:32     Subject: Re:Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to jealous negativity. Sounds like you enjoy your life. Someone has to run things and it is you. I too would look into volunteering or finding a class you would like to take. Enjoy.


OP here. Yes, I have looked into volunteering and I have interviewed at some volunteer places in the last few months. But while i could find a volunteer position generally in my field, it's just a support role. So I'm not sure how fulfilling that would be. i've tried to find more "professional volunteer" opportunities but have not been able to do so yet. So I haven't accepted any volunteer jobs yet.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:31     Subject: Re:Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.


I’m guessing a preplanned vacation works differently for his schedule than a random snow day.


5 weeks vacation sounds like 1 week around Christmas/NewYears, 1 week Spring break, 2 weeks summer vacation and maybe give or take a long weekend or adding a day or two to the planned vacations I outlined. In all of those cases there’s lots of notice ahead of time.

He’s never in a position where he has an important meeting at 9am on Wednesday and his kid woke up with a fever at 7am.



OP here. Yeah, his vacations are pretty much like that and since he has such a high-powered job, he takes every single bit of his vacation time, though he takes all 5 weeks as single weeks. DH would also be annoyed if I was in a full-time job where I could not take his 5 weeks of vacation time. He needs these vacations to offset the stress of his job.



Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:30     Subject: Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Financially, your way better off keeping your 5 hour a week part time job and simply finding something else to occupy your time or interests such as volunteering.


This. You have an ideal situation. You are able to be home full time and take care of any and all sick days/snow days/holidays/teacher work days plus you still have your foot in the door working very part time at a very well paying job in your field.

I would keep on doing exactly what you're doing for now. Your husband can use his leave to go with you and the kids on nice family vacations and to visit out of state relatives.

Adding on more hours of work at quite possibly less pay per hour is only going to complicate your life and add a layer of stress that you quite frankly do not need. You can't compare yourself to a single parent because single parents almost always have full time back up childcare in place. In your situation, you do not have before/after school in place, you are the one who provides childcare on sick days/holidays/snow days and during the summer. If you went back to work even PT, 20 hours a week, you would have to find childcare every time a snow day/sick day came up...not to mention summer vacation/winter break/spring break.



Perfect advice.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:30     Subject: Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Financially, your way better off keeping your 5 hour a week part time job and simply finding something else to occupy your time or interests such as volunteering.


This. You have an ideal situation. You are able to be home full time and take care of any and all sick days/snow days/holidays/teacher work days plus you still have your foot in the door working very part time at a very well paying job in your field.

I would keep on doing exactly what you're doing for now. Your husband can use his leave to go with you and the kids on nice family vacations and to visit out of state relatives.

Adding on more hours of work at quite possibly less pay per hour is only going to complicate your life and add a layer of stress that you quite frankly do not need. You can't compare yourself to a single parent because single parents almost always have full time back up childcare in place. In your situation, you do not have before/after school in place, you are the one who provides childcare on sick days/holidays/snow days and during the summer. If you went back to work even PT, 20 hours a week, you would have to find childcare every time a snow day/sick day came up...not to mention summer vacation/winter break/spring break.


OP here. Yes, it is a good situation and I would love it if they could give me more hours but they really cannot give me more than 5 per week. Working 5 hours per week just makes me feel like i'm stagnating. I'm bored. Yes, it's nice to have a foot in the door with this very part-time job, and my resume looks pretty good because I've had this 5 hour per week job for a few years now. But, my days feel lacking in purpose honestly--i spent all of my time cleaning/cooking/grocery shopping/shopping and meeting friends for lunch. I do all the domestic stuff.

Husband also works 70 hour weeks with weekly work travel.

If I did find another part-time job, it would have to be as flexible as the one I have now, where I can plan my hours according to my schedule. Ideally I would work 10-15 hours per week with the ability to take off for sick days/snow days and school breaks. Usually we plan a vacation week for school breaks and/or fly in the Grandparents--for winter break we take one week vacation and then fly in the grandparents for the second week, for example. We do summer camps for summer already so that is covered as my kids would be super bored at home.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:24     Subject: Re:Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.


I’m guessing a preplanned vacation works differently for his schedule than a random snow day.


5 weeks vacation sounds like 1 week around Christmas/NewYears, 1 week Spring break, 2 weeks summer vacation and maybe give or take a long weekend or adding a day or two to the planned vacations I outlined. In all of those cases there’s lots of notice ahead of time.

He’s never in a position where he has an important meeting at 9am on Wednesday and his kid woke up with a fever at 7am.



OP here. Yeah, his vacations are pretty much like that and since he has such a high-powered job, he takes every single bit of his vacation time, though he takes all 5 weeks as single weeks. DH would also be annoyed if I was in a full-time job where I could not take his 5 weeks of vacation time. He needs these vacations to offset the stress of his job.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:22     Subject: Re:Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.


OP here. All of DH's vacations have to be scheduled in advance and he cannot take any last minute days off from work. In the 15 years he's been in this job, he only took one last minute day off, when he had a bad flu.

It just seems like it would be a waste of money for us to get a full-time nanny or au pair, when we only need one for sick day/snow day coverage, or before and after care. Besides that, we don't need the nanny/au pair because kids are in full-day school. If I worked full-time the most I would make would be around 70 K per year. And I don't feel comfortable with a nanny or au pair for sick days.

The only reason I have such a high-paying 5 hour a week job is because it's a PRN job (no benefits, as needed work) so they have to pay a lot per hour since otherwise no one would be interested in this type of job.

I've been sending out resumes and I've had a few interviews but overall, the part-time jobs in my field pay very poorly ($15 per hour at the most) and I seem to be overqualified for them, because I'm not getting many interviews for these part-time jobs.



Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:21     Subject: Re:Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.


I’m guessing a preplanned vacation works differently for his schedule than a random snow day.


5 weeks vacation sounds like 1 week around Christmas/NewYears, 1 week Spring break, 2 weeks summer vacation and maybe give or take a long weekend or adding a day or two to the planned vacations I outlined. In all of those cases there’s lots of notice ahead of time.

He’s never in a position where he has an important meeting at 9am on Wednesday and his kid woke up with a fever at 7am.



Yeah, exactly. I worked for an exec who took off a week for spring break, a week for Thanksgiving, a week for Christmas, and a week for end of summer. I don't think he ever took a single other day off. Ever.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:19     Subject: Re:Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.


I’m guessing a preplanned vacation works differently for his schedule than a random snow day.


5 weeks vacation sounds like 1 week around Christmas/NewYears, 1 week Spring break, 2 weeks summer vacation and maybe give or take a long weekend or adding a day or two to the planned vacations I outlined. In all of those cases there’s lots of notice ahead of time.

He’s never in a position where he has an important meeting at 9am on Wednesday and his kid woke up with a fever at 7am.

Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:17     Subject: Re:Is it worth it for me to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.


I’m guessing a preplanned vacation works differently for his schedule than a random snow day.


Exactly. If he's off on business travel, there is no way for him to cover sudden childcare needs like that.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2020 08:15     Subject: Is it worth it for me to work?
Of course you could work. You’d just need a nanny or the right help. So do it if you want. But in your scenario I’d probably find a great volunteer gig.