Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:20     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have been seeing so many self-righteous, preachy posts about how important it is to make kids do chores. One lady pulled her step-daughter away from her cousins during the family Christmas party to make her hand wash dishes even though there was a dishwasher available. Then she posted a picture of the child with a message about how important it is to make kids do their fair share of the work. My SIL kept doing the same thing on our family trip - very dramatically pulling her kids away from fun and laughter to help in the kitchen. Then she kept telling us about all the chores they have to do after school every day. SIL does not work.

My kids are teenagers and my rule has always been that we all clean up after ourselves. So my kids clean their rooms, bathrooms, pick up their stuff around the house. They all started doing their own laundry around age 10. They help out with other stuff such as vacuuming and dusting when I actually need their help. But I don’t make them do weekly chores just because. Vacuuming, mopping, and dusting are not difficult. They don’t need 18 years of practice before living on their own. They have the rest of their lives to do that stuff so why make them do it throughout childhood too? My oldest is a freshman in college. She has never been interested in learning to cook. Her siblings enjoy it so they have more experience than she does. She will move into an apartment next year so I will teach her how to cook this summer. If she won’t take the time to learn then she will struggle next year. We call that natural consequences, which has always been more effective with my kids than random chores such as hand-washing dishes unnecessarily. My kids have all turned out to be extremely independent and self-sufficient. I believe that this is partially due to our rule of taking care of themselves.

Anyway, to each their own, but I just wanted to share my perspective since I have seen and heard so much from the chore-loving parents lately!


So you DO make your kids do chores. You just don’t like others making their kids do chores that you don’t make your kids do and showing you up.


Again...there’s a difference between cleaning up after yourself and doing household chores.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:19     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:The first load of laundry I did was freshman year of college. I googled it. It’s not rocket science.


My friend’s son texted her when he was doing his first load of laundry at college. He said “so do I just pull it out of the washing machine with my hands?” She said “no, didn’t you find the laundry tongs I packed for you?” Lol. They all had a good laugh and he’s done just fine with his laundry ever since.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:18     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:I have been seeing so many self-righteous, preachy posts about how important it is to make kids do chores. One lady pulled her step-daughter away from her cousins during the family Christmas party to make her hand wash dishes even though there was a dishwasher available. Then she posted a picture of the child with a message about how important it is to make kids do their fair share of the work. My SIL kept doing the same thing on our family trip - very dramatically pulling her kids away from fun and laughter to help in the kitchen. Then she kept telling us about all the chores they have to do after school every day. SIL does not work.

My kids are teenagers and my rule has always been that we all clean up after ourselves. So my kids clean their rooms, bathrooms, pick up their stuff around the house. They all started doing their own laundry around age 10. They help out with other stuff such as vacuuming and dusting when I actually need their help. But I don’t make them do weekly chores just because. Vacuuming, mopping, and dusting are not difficult. They don’t need 18 years of practice before living on their own. They have the rest of their lives to do that stuff so why make them do it throughout childhood too? My oldest is a freshman in college. She has never been interested in learning to cook. Her siblings enjoy it so they have more experience than she does. She will move into an apartment next year so I will teach her how to cook this summer. If she won’t take the time to learn then she will struggle next year. We call that natural consequences, which has always been more effective with my kids than random chores such as hand-washing dishes unnecessarily. My kids have all turned out to be extremely independent and self-sufficient. I believe that this is partially due to our rule of taking care of themselves.

Anyway, to each their own, but I just wanted to share my perspective since I have seen and heard so much from the chore-loving parents lately!


So you DO make your kids do chores. You just don’t like others making their kids do chores that you don’t make your kids do and showing you up.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:18     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Lady you wrote a novel about all the chores you make your kids do...

You say you don’t make your kids do chores except for the super long list of chores that don’t count as chores because they matter to you and not your SIL.... Sure, whatever you need to tell yourself.


Op here. The point is that there’s a difference between cleaning up after yourself and household chores. They keep their own space and belongings clean. They are not responsible for household chores such as vacuuming, mopping, dishes, washing windows, dusting, mowing, cooking. Do you really not see the difference? They will be proficient in all these things by the time they leave home but they won’t have 18 years of experience.

To each his own. For me it’s not really about proficiency — it’s not rocket science to learn how to vacuum or cook a few simple but nutritious meals. However, it is extremely important to DH and I that we instill in our children that we are all members of the household and family and each family member needs to contribute...not just cleaning up your own messes, but doing the “collective” chores that keep the household running smoothly.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:17     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Mine don't do anything or know anything but I'm pretty sure they can figure it out when they need to. I hope they stay single. Don't want DILs whining about me not raising boys who clean after themselves. They might change though but we are not practicing it right now.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:13     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your future DIL will be so pleased.


Well, my 13 year old son already knows how to do his own laundry, keep his room and bathroom clean, and pick up after himself. He doesn’t leave his stuff lying around waiting for someone else to pick it up. He knows how to do household chores and the basics of cooking even though he isn’t forced to weekly. So yeah, I actually think she will be pleased.


Sure. He will expect his wife to do the weekly tasks. Bravo


No he won’t, because he sees his dad do these tasks just as often as me.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:12     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Lady you wrote a novel about all the chores you make your kids do...

You say you don’t make your kids do chores except for the super long list of chores that don’t count as chores because they matter to you and not your SIL.... Sure, whatever you need to tell yourself.


Op here. The point is that there’s a difference between cleaning up after yourself and household chores. They keep their own space and belongings clean. They are not responsible for household chores such as vacuuming, mopping, dishes, washing windows, dusting, mowing, cooking. Do you really not see the difference? They will be proficient in all these things by the time they leave home but they won’t have 18 years of experience.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:10     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your future DIL will be so pleased.


Well, my 13 year old son already knows how to do his own laundry, keep his room and bathroom clean, and pick up after himself. He doesn’t leave his stuff lying around waiting for someone else to pick it up. He knows how to do household chores and the basics of cooking even though he isn’t forced to weekly. So yeah, I actually think she will be pleased.


Sure. He will expect his wife to do the weekly tasks. Bravo
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:09     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:The first load of laundry I did was freshman year of college. I googled it. It’s not rocket science.


Agreed...I do not get why people think laundry requires years of practice. I like the efficiency of big loads so I combine everyone's. DS went to college last year. I have not heard of any issues or questions.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:06     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:Your future DIL will be so pleased.


Well, my 13 year old son already knows how to do his own laundry, keep his room and bathroom clean, and pick up after himself. He doesn’t leave his stuff lying around waiting for someone else to pick it up. He knows how to do household chores and the basics of cooking even though he isn’t forced to weekly. So yeah, I actually think she will be pleased.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:02     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Lady you wrote a novel about all the chores you make your kids do...

You say you don’t make your kids do chores except for the super long list of chores that don’t count as chores because they matter to you and not your SIL.... Sure, whatever you need to tell yourself.


+1. It’s semantics. Call it what you want, but your kids are doing chores. Maybe you aren’t posting about it on Facebook (neither am I) but that’s what they are.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:00     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.

Lady you wrote a novel about all the chores you make your kids do...

You say you don’t make your kids do chores except for the super long list of chores that don’t count as chores because they matter to you and not your SIL.... Sure, whatever you need to tell yourself.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 16:00     Subject: Re:I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Nobody enjoys living with a person who can't cook, clean, and do their own laundry. Kids do not grow up to be responsible adults without having been trained as a young child. Too many irresponsible, untidy adults out there.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 15:59     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
The first load of laundry I did was freshman year of college. I googled it. It’s not rocket science.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2020 15:58     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
I think more important than “chores”, it’s important to make sure that everyone in the house feels like a contributing member.