Anonymous
01/09/2020 13:28
Subject: Re:What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP here, if it's not clear from my post: every needle, every $$, every appointment, every scan, every bruise in my tush, every early morning ultrasound etc. is worth it. in hindsight it seems like nothing and I have a third child, who I cannot remotely imagine life without.
But IVF isn't a sure thing. I was 33 when I started IVF for my second child, and two years and 5 rounds later, we've thrown in the towel and have nothing to show for it. Meanwhile, we put our finances, my body, our marriage, and our family through stress and hardship. And yet I still want that child as much as I did when we started, but hard work and really wanting something just aren't enough. If Shady Grove's fancy computer program gives her a 30% chance at live birth, she seriously needs to consider whether it's worth that heartache and sacrifice to most likely not succeed. She's done IVF before, so she knows the ropes, but it's disingenuous to say "you have to try! It will be worth it!" without considering it NOT working.
Yes, I agree (I wrote the post you quote). I do agree you need to know it may not work, but what I am saying is it's not as simple as "you have 2, you should be grateful for what you have and not do IVF." I am saying if you want another child, and are willing to go through all the financial, physical etc. struggle to get there, it's worth a SHOT. obviously you never know if it will ultimately work. i wasn't prepared to quit yet, and I had success before I had to, I cant say how much more I would have gone (I got 2 PGS normal embryos from the last fresh transfer, so I could have tried once more I guess).
Anonymous
01/09/2020 13:17
Subject: Re:What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:PP here, if it's not clear from my post: every needle, every $$, every appointment, every scan, every bruise in my tush, every early morning ultrasound etc. is worth it. in hindsight it seems like nothing and I have a third child, who I cannot remotely imagine life without.
But IVF isn't a sure thing. I was 33 when I started IVF for my second child, and two years and 5 rounds later, we've thrown in the towel and have nothing to show for it. Meanwhile, we put our finances, my body, our marriage, and our family through stress and hardship. And yet I still want that child as much as I did when we started, but hard work and really wanting something just aren't enough. If Shady Grove's fancy computer program gives her a 30% chance at live birth, she seriously needs to consider whether it's worth that heartache and sacrifice to most likely not succeed. She's done IVF before, so she knows the ropes, but it's disingenuous to say "you have to try! It will be worth it!" without considering it NOT working.
Anonymous
01/09/2020 13:15
Subject: What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would be happy I have two and just suck it up and move on. Sometimes closing the door is the kick you need to give you best to the family you already have, without distractions. - Mom of one with no infertility issues whose husband just didn't want another.
Not being snarky — genuinely interested, PP, why do you read and comment on posts for women with long term infertility issues if you haven’t dealt with infertility?
Yeah not to derail this thread but this is kind of weird. There’s someone who consistently posts on the pets board in response to questions about problem pets saying “this is why I’ll never have a pet.” Are you her?
Np here. I read this forum even though I didn’t have fertility problems myself. I’m curious because a lot of my friends and family have experienced infertility and so I want to know what they are going through.
I’ll tell you what we’re going through- hell on earth. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially - you name it. That’s why OP preceded her somewhat triggering question with a whole lot of caveats and many responses are to just be freaking grateful for the two kids she already has.
I am the PP who did IVF for each of my 3 kids. You can both be grateful for the children you have AND also go through hell to get another. I did. I did 3 failed FET (two chemical pregnancies, one BFN), then a whole brand new round of fresh retrieval - WITH immune treatments like prednisone and intralipids!!! - and had to have a hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue- all of that to have my third. It isnt mutually exclusive.
Anonymous
01/09/2020 11:59
Subject: What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would be happy I have two and just suck it up and move on. Sometimes closing the door is the kick you need to give you best to the family you already have, without distractions. - Mom of one with no infertility issues whose husband just didn't want another.
Not being snarky — genuinely interested, PP, why do you read and comment on posts for women with long term infertility issues if you haven’t dealt with infertility?
Yeah not to derail this thread but this is kind of weird. There’s someone who consistently posts on the pets board in response to questions about problem pets saying “this is why I’ll never have a pet.” Are you her?
Np here. I read this forum even though I didn’t have fertility problems myself. I’m curious because a lot of my friends and family have experienced infertility and so I want to know what they are going through.
I’ll tell you what we’re going through- hell on earth. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially - you name it. That’s why OP preceded her somewhat triggering question with a whole lot of caveats and many responses are to just be freaking grateful for the two kids she already has.
Absolutely this.
Haven't had to use ART/IVF? Then you have no idea.
Haven't been through a miscarriage of a very wanted baby? Then you have no idea.
Perfectly fine to try and educate yourself to be more sensitive to your friends who are going through it, but it's apples and oranges to opt intentionally to be one and done versus going through IVF to have a kid.
Anonymous
01/09/2020 08:40
Subject: What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would be happy I have two and just suck it up and move on. Sometimes closing the door is the kick you need to give you best to the family you already have, without distractions. - Mom of one with no infertility issues whose husband just didn't want another.
Not being snarky — genuinely interested, PP, why do you read and comment on posts for women with long term infertility issues if you haven’t dealt with infertility?
Yeah not to derail this thread but this is kind of weird. There’s someone who consistently posts on the pets board in response to questions about problem pets saying “this is why I’ll never have a pet.” Are you her?
Np here. I read this forum even though I didn’t have fertility problems myself. I’m curious because a lot of my friends and family have experienced infertility and so I want to know what they are going through.
Reading is fine but commenting when one has not gone through infertility is strange.
THIS
Anonymous
01/09/2020 02:24
Subject: What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would be happy I have two and just suck it up and move on. Sometimes closing the door is the kick you need to give you best to the family you already have, without distractions. - Mom of one with no infertility issues whose husband just didn't want another.
Not being snarky — genuinely interested, PP, why do you read and comment on posts for women with long term infertility issues if you haven’t dealt with infertility?
Yeah not to derail this thread but this is kind of weird. There’s someone who consistently posts on the pets board in response to questions about problem pets saying “this is why I’ll never have a pet.” Are you her?
Np here. I read this forum even though I didn’t have fertility problems myself. I’m curious because a lot of my friends and family have experienced infertility and so I want to know what they are going through.
I’ll tell you what we’re going through- hell on earth. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially - you name it. That’s why OP preceded her somewhat triggering question with a whole lot of caveats and many responses are to just be freaking grateful for the two kids she already has.
Anonymous
01/08/2020 22:17
Subject: What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would be happy I have two and just suck it up and move on. Sometimes closing the door is the kick you need to give you best to the family you already have, without distractions. - Mom of one with no infertility issues whose husband just didn't want another.
Not being snarky — genuinely interested, PP, why do you read and comment on posts for women with long term infertility issues if you haven’t dealt with infertility?
Yeah not to derail this thread but this is kind of weird. There’s someone who consistently posts on the pets board in response to questions about problem pets saying “this is why I’ll never have a pet.” Are you her?
Np here. I read this forum even though I didn’t have fertility problems myself. I’m curious because a lot of my friends and family have experienced infertility and so I want to know what they are going through.
Reading is fine but commenting when one has not gone through infertility is strange.
Anonymous
01/08/2020 18:13
Subject: What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would be happy I have two and just suck it up and move on. Sometimes closing the door is the kick you need to give you best to the family you already have, without distractions. - Mom of one with no infertility issues whose husband just didn't want another.
Not being snarky — genuinely interested, PP, why do you read and comment on posts for women with long term infertility issues if you haven’t dealt with infertility?
Yeah not to derail this thread but this is kind of weird. There’s someone who consistently posts on the pets board in response to questions about problem pets saying “this is why I’ll never have a pet.” Are you her?
Np here. I read this forum even though I didn’t have fertility problems myself. I’m curious because a lot of my friends and family have experienced infertility and so I want to know what they are going through.
Anonymous
01/08/2020 09:53
Subject: What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would be happy I have two and just suck it up and move on. Sometimes closing the door is the kick you need to give you best to the family you already have, without distractions. - Mom of one with no infertility issues whose husband just didn't want another.
Not being snarky — genuinely interested, PP, why do you read and comment on posts for women with long term infertility issues if you haven’t dealt with infertility?
not either PP but i would assume, since she signed it as she did, that she faced her own "I want more children, but life isn't providing the children i want" struggles and trying to offer advice from a different perspective.
Anonymous
01/08/2020 09:34
Subject: What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would be happy I have two and just suck it up and move on. Sometimes closing the door is the kick you need to give you best to the family you already have, without distractions. - Mom of one with no infertility issues whose husband just didn't want another.
Not being snarky — genuinely interested, PP, why do you read and comment on posts for women with long term infertility issues if you haven’t dealt with infertility?
Yeah not to derail this thread but this is kind of weird. There’s someone who consistently posts on the pets board in response to questions about problem pets saying “this is why I’ll never have a pet.” Are you her?
Anonymous
01/08/2020 07:35
Subject: What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:Your husband travels a lot and you want to try for a third when you already have 2 kids under 5???
Are you trying to destroy your marriage? Are you trying to drive yourself into the ground with exhaustion and stress?
Step away from this and focus on your wonderful family of four.
Agree!!!!
Anonymous
01/08/2020 07:23
Subject: What would you do in my situation (additional children)
Anonymous wrote:I would be happy I have two and just suck it up and move on. Sometimes closing the door is the kick you need to give you best to the family you already have, without distractions. - Mom of one with no infertility issues whose husband just didn't want another.
Not being snarky — genuinely interested, PP, why do you read and comment on posts for women with long term infertility issues if you haven’t dealt with infertility?