Anonymous
Post 01/03/2020 09:17     Subject: Should I tell sister how to spend inheritance?
Anonymous wrote:My mother left my sister and me an inheritance of about $50,000 each. I am the older, much more responsible sibling. Before her passing, my mother told me that she hoped my sister would spend her inheritance to pay down her high-interest car and consumer debt. I asked my mom to tell this to my sister herself, but my mom was kind of conflict avoidant and didn’t want to discuss this with my sister.

I told my sister about a month ago that my mom wanted my sister to spend the inheritance money to pay down debt. I told her I was only going to say it once and wasn’t going to follow up on it.

Based on social media posts, it appears that my sister is using the money to buy new furniture.

I shouldn’t say anything, right? It sucks because my sister is in a bad place financially (minimum wage job, no prospects for advancement) and getting rid of her debt would be a big relief. But she is not financially savvy at all and is impulsive. No one in my family has taken the time to explain finances to her.

What do you think I should do, if anything?


1. FTFY.

It's your sister's life, leave her alone.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2020 09:13     Subject: Should I tell sister how to spend inheritance?
Stay out of it. I get that it’s maddening to watch. I’m four years older than my sister. She has no kids, so she does have more freedom to spend than I do. But she has accrued debt and court judgments against her, a very small emergency cushion, under 10k in retirement savings. She quits jobs if she can’t get the time off that she wants, has earned three parent-funded masters degrees, dropped health insurance bc it was cutting into her travel budget, etc....

My parents are each tight-lipped about estate planning, and I just cross my fingers that they set up trusts. I’m not going to be an enabler and I don’t have enough money to bail her out even if I were so inclined. I’m widowed with two kids and I’m busting my ass to save for retirement and college.

tl;dr you’re not alone and there’s nothing you can (or should) do but accept the situation
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2020 08:50     Subject: Should I tell sister how to spend inheritance?
Thank goodness your mother didn't put you in charge. That you think you have some kind of obligation to manage your sister's life with no standing makes clear you'd be awful in your role managing a trust. You may very well have retired her debts but would have obliterated any relationship w/your sister. You're tempted to overstep here-but MYOB
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2020 08:37     Subject: Should I tell sister how to spend inheritance?
She’s an adult and you told her. I have two siblings that are terrible with money and am going to be in the same situation someday. You can’t control grown adults in these situations. You also do not have to bail her out of her financial problems if they get too bad someday from her poor choices.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2020 07:32     Subject: Should I tell sister how to spend inheritance?
if you mom really wanted her to get rid of her debt, she could have put you in charge of the $$$ ot put someone else in charge of the money to specifically pay down your sisters debt.

but in the end, if you your sister knew that she had money coming in to pay down her debt, there is nothing that would stop her from just running the debt back up. Hoping that there was a enough money to cover the charges. and keep doing it until the money runs out.

Lather, rinse, repeat...
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2020 19:11     Subject: Should I tell sister how to spend inheritance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How old is your sister?

OP here - she is 32. To the other poster who asked if she may be spending some of the money on her debt, I feel like I can't know that without asking her, and I'm wondering if even asking would be over-stepping? Given her history though, I'm nearly 100% she has not yet spent any on the debt. Probably plans to, but will spend the money on other stuff in the meantime and then it will all be gone.


32?? Are you crazy? STFU! What gives you right to tell her what she should/should not do with her money?
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2020 19:03     Subject: Should I tell sister how to spend inheritance?
*of not "up"
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2020 19:02     Subject: Should I tell sister how to spend inheritance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How old is your sister?

OP here - she is 32. To the other poster who asked if she may be spending some of the money on her debt, I feel like I can't know that without asking her, and I'm wondering if even asking would be over-stepping? Given her history though, I'm nearly 100% she has not yet spent any on the debt. Probably plans to, but will spend the money on other stuff in the meantime and then it will all be gone.


It is none of your business whatsoever, OP. Your sister is a grown ass woman and can make her own choices. I'm sure there are things in your life she disapproves up.

Besides, you already told her! Leave the subject alone. It's over.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2020 19:00     Subject: Should I tell sister how to spend inheritance?
You already did it.