Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did ask her and her response was “how was I supposed to know!” She told me she would write him a note an apologize. Admitting to a mistake is not something my mom really does. My dad was pretty upset with her too. He offered to help my son sort them out and start putting some back together.

Ugh. Your mom needs some coaching. She needs to make the apology in person. Have her write the note but then make her say it in person. A 6 year old needs to hear this from his grandmother. A note will not cut it. And she needs to be the one to help him re-sort the pieces.

Your son wants his pieces sorted.
He doesn't care less about the apology without that action.

Really? He can sort them. They're his Legos.

So fragile.

Clearly you've never valued Legos or had a young child who was capable of following Lego directions. We're talking about a six year old. That's young for building entire sets, and he's understandably devastated.

But sure, next time you labor on something for hours only to have it destroyed casually by someone, we'll be sure to tell you to get over it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did ask her and her response was “how was I supposed to know!” She told me she would write him a note an apologize. Admitting to a mistake is not something my mom really does. My dad was pretty upset with her too. He offered to help my son sort them out and start putting some back together.

Ugh. Your mom needs some coaching. She needs to make the apology in person. Have her write the note but then make her say it in person. A 6 year old needs to hear this from his grandmother. A note will not cut it. And she needs to be the one to help him re-sort the pieces.

Your son wants his pieces sorted.
He doesn't care less about the apology without that action.

Didn’t say he wants to hear this or cares about an apology. I said he NEEDS to hear this. It’s a great teaching moment that this kid shouldn’t miss out on: how to take responsibility for messing up by apologizing in person AND helping to re-sort them. Both are equally important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did ask her and her response was “how was I supposed to know!” She told me she would write him a note an apologize. Admitting to a mistake is not something my mom really does. My dad was pretty upset with her too. He offered to help my son sort them out and start putting some back together.

Ugh. Your mom needs some coaching. She needs to make the apology in person. Have her write the note but then make her say it in person. A 6 year old needs to hear this from his grandmother. A note will not cut it. And she needs to be the one to help him re-sort the pieces.

Your son wants his pieces sorted.
He doesn't care less about the apology without that action.

Really? He can sort them. They're his Legos.

So fragile.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did ask her and her response was “how was I supposed to know!” She told me she would write him a note an apologize. Admitting to a mistake is not something my mom really does. My dad was pretty upset with her too. He offered to help my son sort them out and start putting some back together.

Ugh. Your mom needs some coaching. She needs to make the apology in person. Have her write the note but then make her say it in person. A 6 year old needs to hear this from his grandmother. A note will not cut it. And she needs to be the one to help him re-sort the pieces.

Your son wants his pieces sorted.
He doesn't care less about the apology without that action.

My kid would’ve been upset but this is the perfect chance to show them how to deal with it. Low stakes equals a good opportunity. If you still have the directions, have your kid get them out and help him sort the pieces. If not, show him that Legos are actually intended for building stuff and play with. I have an entire container of mixed up pieces that my kid actually plays with. I let him keep one of two of his favorites on his desk but I’m not spending all of that money for dust collectors. Perfect chance for him to leave how to suck it up.

Oh your poor son!
Clearly what your mom needs to do is sit down and help your son rebuild them. It will give them quality time together, which it sounds like might be sorely needed, and show your son that his grandmom values his important things. And I'm sure you have done this already, but if not, pull him aside out of earshot of grandmom and reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong, and that grandmom was wrong to yell at him. (which is way worse than the probably honest mistake of "cleaning" the legos)

Our nanny did this when we first hired her. My then 5yo was working on a giant LEGO with DH. It was so mixed up, we got him another set.

We make sure legos are secure and packets put back in the box and incomplete LEGO put on shelf.

Anonymous wrote:Omg my DS would have been devastated.

Same for my DD. She’s had built legos that have been sitting on the shelf for the past 4-5 years. She considers them a work of art/accomplishment.

Anonymous wrote:I did ask her and her response was “how was I supposed to know!” She told me she would write him a note an apologize. Admitting to a mistake is not something my mom really does. My dad was pretty upset with her too. He offered to help my son sort them out and start putting some back together.

That's nice of your dad. I agree that your mom should help with the sorting process too. In her shoes, I'd also go buy him a replacement set or different lego set he's been wanting.

It's such a weird thing for her to have done. Is it possible she thought that legos were like blocks or magnatiles and that people build with them and then disassemble them all the time?

Anonymous wrote:She needs to make this right and sort out all those legos so that he can put them back together. How would she feel or react if he went into her house and ruined something important to her?

She needs to buy him a bunch of new sets.

I’m sorry, but she’s mean. If they had been on the middle of the floor and in the way (which it sounds like they weren’t), you pick them up assembled and move them to the table. It takes conscious effort to fully dismantle them.

I’d tell her - you apologize directly and now you will be spending all day rebuilding them. If you have any issues with that then it’s time for you to go home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the scolding would make me more upset than the actual “cleaning” of the Legos. She messed up and her response was to deflect to her grandson.
Not okay.

+1

There is a small chance it was an honest mistake but she chose to react badly. Ask her what she intends to do to fix it.

She said she’d write a note, which is a cop-out.
OP needs to hold her to doing a real apology in person (they are staying there, yes???) and sitting with grandson to reorganize.

Anonymous wrote:I think the scolding would make me more upset than the actual “cleaning” of the Legos. She messed up and her response was to deflect to her grandson.
Not okay.

+1

There is a small chance it was an honest mistake but she chose to react badly. Ask her what she intends to do to fix it.

OP, that sounds like a strange thing to do. Has your mother done anything else out of the ordinary lately? Do you think she might have the beginnings of dementia?

She needs to take him to the Lego store to right this wrong. I’d be livid!!!