My son poop trained at two, pee trained at 2.5 (no accidents) and wasn’t dry at night until about six. They are all different things. My son was a sound sleeper and didn’t feel the cues. You can do all the laundry and give the kid loads of anxiety (we tried the charts, underwear, etc for a while around 4 and it was a disaster) or you let the kid get a full night’s sleep and put them in Good-nites until their bladder is ready. My son is 12 and doesn’t really remember any of it, unlike so many adults who are still upset about being treated as a “bedwetter” and shamed.

Nanny here.

It depends on the child. A child who deals with constant constipation and is a very heavy sleeper may not be able to wake up. Also, there’s a genetic predisposition, especially among boys, so if DH wet the bed until 6-8, it’s highly likely that the same will happen with your children (boys especially).

With that said, several of the above work well. Double sheeting and wearing nothing to bed work well for cleanup. Limiting liquids works for limiting the impetus, but more important is limiting carbs and sugars at dinner. It takes a lot of liquid to break them down, hence there’s more urine. Try to make dinner less carb-heavy, and skip dessert (or have it earlier in the day, perhaps at snack time).

Additional things that have worked for me:

A dribbler is not capable of holding back during the night, so I’ve done potty trips with the child every two hours until the child’s body acclimated to the two hour window, gradually widened to three and then four hours. This was a mix of dream and awake peeing.

For a child who has control of their bladder while completely asleep and completely awake, a bad dream and the waking period are the only two “dangers.” So, I’ve done dream pees around 11 to midnight, just to make sure that their bladder is almost empty if they’ve had a bad dream. To deal with the half-awake peeing, the only solution I’ve found is to figure out exactly when they start to surface and go wake them up and take them straight to the bathroom. Do it enough and the child learns to go practically from asleep to awake and in the way to the bathroom, keeping themself dry.

If your child WANTS to try, I’d suggest double sheeting, the dream pee at 11-midnight and taking the child straight to the toilet as soon as they start to wake up. It means less sleep for you for a week or two, until your child is night trained or until you decide it isn’t working.

One of the other things you can do, if your child is one who sleeps too soundly AND deals with constipation, normalize night “diapers.” There are disposable “diapers” aimed at older kids who set the bed and at elderly; when people need them, it’s just as simple as that. One of the companies that does the ones for older kids has “underwear” with a pad that can be changed every night.

I think I was asked to stop wearing night pull ups about that time. Once she made the decision she was dry at night. We take her to bathroom in her sleep right before we go to bed. She has an occasional accident when she’s sleeping really deeply or sleeps in late.

I think it’s a developmental thing and each kid does it in their own time. it’s worth giving them a chance. We tried using a mattress protector but our child sleeps wildly and it never really stayed in place. I just do laundry as needed if there’s an accident and don’t make a big deal about it.

Anonymous wrote:Carry her and sit her on the potty at 11pm, or as late as possible before you go to sleep. No matter what time she went to bed. Her night is too long.

At 4 she shouldn't be in pull-ups.

+1. Our 3yo refused nighttime pullups and we bring him to the potty half asleep when we go to bed at night.

OP, I have the opposite problem--my 4 year old son won't go to sleep without them even though he stays dry most nights. I'd jump on the chance to help her night train. She sounds very ready.

Anonymous wrote:My 4 yr old niece just told me tonight that she doesn't want to wear a pull up at night anymore because they're itchy.

Get a mattress protector and limit drinking after dinner.

This. If she is telling you that she doesn't want to wear the pull up she is ready to try not wearing it.

Anonymous wrote:We night trained without our kids already waking up dry. They were waking up soaked. After 3-4 nights of this, they suddenly were dry and only had many 1-2 accidents ever after that.

Pp just above you. That’s good to know. I think we’ll bite the bullet and just commit to a lot of laundry for a week or so. And try the bottomless method.

We night trained without our kids already waking up dry. They were waking up soaked. After 3-4 nights of this, they suddenly were dry and only had many 1-2 accidents ever after that.

I hear you, OP. My middle daughter is in the same place. She drinks a ton of water during the day. We tried last night and when my husband went in at 11 to take her to the bathroom, she had wet the sheets, mattress protector, comforter, and pillow and somehow not woken up.

It's going to be a long road. My older daughter was day & night trained on the same day before 3.

Anonymous wrote:My oldest night trained almost immediately, trust me I am not forcing her to wear a diaper. We tried about a year ago and she woke up crying and wet saying she didn’t know how to make the pee not come out. This is the first time she has ever shown any interest in not wanting them. I am more than happy to let her try, I was just looking for tips on how I can help her actually be successful and not wake up upset.

-OP

Do as suggested: double sheet the bed, no bottoms or underwear, nightlights in bathroom. Remind her when you wake her up first thing in the morning to hold it and go potty (this is when most kids pee in pull ups - the twilight sleep).

It’s a learning curve like anything else. There are actually very few true bed-wetters.

My oldest night trained almost immediately, trust me I am not forcing her to wear a diaper. We tried about a year ago and she woke up crying and wet saying she didn’t know how to make the pee not come out. This is the first time she has ever shown any interest in not wanting them. I am more than happy to let her try, I was just looking for tips on how I can help her actually be successful and not wake up upset.

-OP

I am shocked at everyone’s responses - it’s normal for kids to not night train until 6 or later. Who wants to deal with wetting the bed and getting up at night when the odds are she might not be ready! Feel free to try but I don’t think it’s a big deal to start a sticker chart and after proving she can hold it all night for a week or more to then try commando.

Let her stop using them. I highly recommend this:

https://www.amazon.com/Original-Slip-Resistant-Protector-Incontinence-Waterproof/dp/B01LR99P44

I used to wake up with my (7year old !!) bed wetter but now use Alexa’s alarm to wake her and I normally sleep through.

You forced your 4 year old into a diaper? Mother of the year award!

This is crazy to me, OP. My kids were all potty trained by about 2 1\2. We stopped using pull ups before they turned three. Why on earth is your four year old in Pull ups?