Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:53     Subject: Taking TOO long in the shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not a troll. I have this issue too. My husband takes 45 min showers. He could care less that my hair and makeup melt when I’m getting ready or that there isn’t enough hot water for others.Selfish. I’m resentful.


That is beyond. He needs to grow the eff up.

No one in this world needs a 45 minute shower.


Agreed, but my husband is the same. He just loves being in warm water, whether it's a tropical beach, swimming pool, sauna, or simply the daily shower...
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:46     Subject: Taking TOO long in the shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yep, DS has to shower last, after everyone else, or shower in the morning.


He is showering in the morning. And has to be up before both DH and I.

I don't see a reason why DH and I should have to adjust our morning schedules because DS can't manage his time in the shower to allow for the other three people in the house.


Because you have a teenager? You chose to have kids and now you have a teenager. They all do stuff like this. Our teen takes a very long shower - 30 min - 45 min but we have him take a shower at night. If he wanted to shower in the morning, he would have to do it after we do.

You could tell him to take a shower at night and then a very quick shower in the morning, I guess.



Please do better as a parent on every level. Also as a human. Teach your child he is not a special snowflake and not to take 45 min showers because it's extremely detrimental to the environment.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:45     Subject: Taking TOO long in the shower
Anonymous wrote:Is the bathroom the only room with a lock?


Hmmm, I see your point. But I'd be willing to replace the door knob.

And it's not like we make a habit of bursting unannounced into his room at 5:15 am.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:43     Subject: Taking TOO long in the shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He is playing with his junior. Evening shower or go last in the morning. Tell him to play in his room not in the shower.


Seriously?

I mean we all know that's what he's doing. You would address it that directly?

And, just because we tell him that, does not mean he will comply. What mechanism will resolve the excess hot water usage?


Yes, being straightforward is best.

First, I would tell him to limit showers to 10 minutes so there’s enough water for everyone. I would ask maybe 2 or 3 times.

After that, I would have his dad pull him aside and say “Hey, masturbation is normal but there’s a time and place for everything. Everyone knows what you’re doing in the shower when you’re in there for 30 minutes. Other people need to shower in the morning. This has to stop.”

If the private talk from dad doesn’t work, then the next day I would knock on the door after 10 minutes and say “Hey Larlo! Stop masturbating!” I would keep knocking every 5 minutes or so...

You gotta do what you gotta do.


Well, he's been asked repeatedly in the past.

So should DH just pull him aside?

Not sure I'm ok with your third step! I might go with hot water is going off...

Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:42     Subject: Taking TOO long in the shower
Is the bathroom the only room with a lock?
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:40     Subject: Taking TOO long in the shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He is playing with his junior. Evening shower or go last in the morning. Tell him to play in his room not in the shower.


Seriously?

I mean we all know that's what he's doing. You would address it that directly?

And, just because we tell him that, does not mean he will comply. What mechanism will resolve the excess hot water usage?


Yes, being straightforward is best.

First, I would tell him to limit showers to 10 minutes so there’s enough water for everyone. I would ask maybe 2 or 3 times.

After that, I would have his dad pull him aside and say “Hey, masturbation is normal but there’s a time and place for everything. Everyone knows what you’re doing in the shower when you’re in there for 30 minutes. Other people need to shower in the morning. This has to stop.”

If the private talk from dad doesn’t work, then the next day I would knock on the door after 10 minutes and say “Hey Larlo! Stop masturbating!” I would keep knocking every 5 minutes or so...

You gotta do what you gotta do.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:33     Subject: Re:Taking TOO long in the shower
Maybe he should pay for turning the water temperature up?
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:32     Subject: Re:Taking TOO long in the shower
I vote he showers at night.

But if you just want a one second solution because you are already fighting with him about too many things,
DONT DO THIS IF YOU HAVE YOUNGER KIDS
just turn up the hot water heater from hot to hotter or hotter to hottest. You will need to mix in lots of cold
and the hot will last longer for about $10-20/month.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:31     Subject: Taking TOO long in the shower
Anonymous wrote:Not a troll. I have this issue too. My husband takes 45 min showers. He could care less that my hair and makeup melt when I’m getting ready or that there isn’t enough hot water for others.Selfish. I’m resentful.


That is beyond. He needs to grow the eff up.

No one in this world needs a 45 minute shower.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:29     Subject: Taking TOO long in the shower
Not a troll. I have this issue too. My husband takes 45 min showers. He could care less that my hair and makeup melt when I’m getting ready or that there isn’t enough hot water for others.Selfish. I’m resentful.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:28     Subject: Re:Taking TOO long in the shower
OP here.

Also, I don't want to have to be mean about this. But I DO want him to get the point.

I guess we could have a conversation about it, something ab=long the lines of: long showers at night only and showers in morning limited to 12 minutes - after that, hot water is going off.

Does anyone have experience with one of those shower manager devices? It feels a bit like an unnecessary expense - but it may be worth it in terms of expectations, consequences, and not having to actively micromanage shower times...
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:26     Subject: Re:Taking TOO long in the shower
Consult with him to decide on a consequence and then enforce it.

Another option if he likes the long shower would be to get up earlier so it has time to heat up again?
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:23     Subject: Taking TOO long in the shower
Anonymous wrote:He is playing with his junior. Evening shower or go last in the morning. Tell him to play in his room not in the shower.


Seriously?

I mean we all know that's what he's doing. You would address it that directly?

And, just because we tell him that, does not mean he will comply. What mechanism will resolve the excess hot water usage?
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:23     Subject: Taking TOO long in the shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yep, DS has to shower last, after everyone else, or shower in the morning.


He is showering in the morning. And has to be up before both DH and I.

I don't see a reason why DH and I should have to adjust our morning schedules because DS can't manage his time in the shower to allow for the other three people in the house.


Because you have a teenager? You chose to have kids and now you have a teenager. They all do stuff like this. Our teen takes a very long shower - 30 min - 45 min but we have him take a shower at night. If he wanted to shower in the morning, he would have to do it after we do.

You could tell him to take a shower at night and then a very quick shower in the morning, I guess.

Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 14:23     Subject: Taking TOO long in the shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yep, DS has to shower last, after everyone else, or shower in the morning.


He is showering in the morning. And has to be up before both DH and I.

I don't see a reason why DH and I should have to adjust our morning schedules because DS can't manage his time in the shower to allow for the other three people in the house.


Then he ain't showering in the morning, or else he should be doing smth else in return for the favor.