Anonymous wrote:Nanny here and she sounds like an adequate nanny, but nothing special.
I agree that playdates aren’t needed for infants, but when my charges are infants we are singing songs, getting new books at the library, going to museums, playing outside in different environments, setting up sensory activities, etc. My guess is that if she were doing projects and outings other than playdates or classes then you wouldn’t be posting. Instead, you are using the lack of playdates and classes as more of a proxy for your general sense that she is not independent. You don’t want a babysitter-type nanny where you have to plan and she executes; you are looking for a parenting team partner—someone with knowledge of child development and the ability to curate a rich and stimulating environment for your child.
Being regularly late is a big problem in and of itself, but the overall problem seems to be that you have kind of a lackluster nanny.
So there are two ways to go here:
First is to hire a new nanny, but if you hired this one then either something is wrong with your hiring process or something is “wrong” (undesirable) with your job. So before you jump into hiring someone new, take a look at your job requirements and benefits packages. If you know any nannies you like through friends or maybe someone who babysits for you on weekends and so on, ask them to go over your job requirements and benefits and give feedback. Then think carefully about what you want in a nanny and what is negotiable and start hiring with that clear vision. Ask a lot of in-depth, open-ended questions and if you are hiring for someone who is a self-starter look for people who have their own questions and are interviewing you too.
The other option is that you may find in asking around that your job requirements and benefits package are out of step with the nanny market in ways you can’t fix. Either you can’t afford a competitive wage or you need too much flexibility or some other issue. If that is the case, I would look at daycares in your area, because past the infant stage a good daycare is going to be better in many ways than a meh nanny. It will be less convenient, but should be a cost savings. Another solution is looking at nanny shares, since that would give you access to a higher caliber nanny than you could afford solo.
Excellent advice. Reflecting on your gig from a nanny’s perspective will help you get the best worker for your dollar.