Wouldn't a career oriented grandma be the best role model?

How old are your kids?

How far away Is the grandfather and step-grandma?

Also, what about DHs mom? Are you okay with the kids visiting their grandmother?

Anonymous wrote:Question: DH grew up with doting, kind grandparents who were the "old school" (stay at home mom, cooked every meal from scratch) type. His own father divorced and remarried a new women who is the "new school" type (career oriented, fast talking, cutting remarks etc). Both are in their 60's. Since having kids DH insists on having our kids have the sort of experience he had with sleepovers and long visits at their house. On the flip side, I didn't visit my grandparents a lot and they lived in a completely different state. I need to understand from some objective parents out there if I should be concerned at all? This is not a situation like he had with his southern sweet grandmother and quiet kind grandfather and frankly I don't even like visiting. One of my kids likes visiting and the other does not. TIA.

This sounds like your issue, no one else's. The fact that the mom works, that your husband had a loving relationship with his grandparents and you did not, isn't really relevant. The fact that the grandparents could be better in your opinion, isn't really relevant. What is relevant is that you already have one kid who wants to go. You've said nothing in the op indicating that they are a risk to your kids. I assume (since you didn't say otherwise), that they are engaging with the kids (after all, one wants to go and you're not saying that they are aloof or disengaged) and appropriate. You need to put on a fake smile, present it as a great idea to the kids and keep your thoughts to yourself. It is clear that your attitude is already bleeding onto one of your kids. You need to accept that you will never like this situation because that is YOU (obviously from your post.) As someone else said, lots of us don't LOVE Spending time with our in laws, but you keep your mouth shut, smile and let your kids think it is wonderful and let them come to their own conclusions (if they ever do), when older.

Fast talking? WTH