Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:17, 15, 6

Pregnant with number 4

Second marriage?

Sounds more like 3rd...

I have 4 kids:
1-2= 21 months apart
2-3=2.5 years apart (exactly, to the day)
3-4=22 months apart

I prefer the closer spacing (21-22 months apart.)

The longer space between #2 and #3 is due to the fact that my husband was deployed (active duty military.)

DS1 and DS2 are exactly 2 years apart. I had DD was born when boys were 5 and 7 and I love our age gap. When I had a toddler and infant, I felt like we were just surviving barely. I’m truly enjoying all my children separately. I get to spend quality time with toddler when big kids are in school. I focus on big kids in the afternoon and weekends.

Mine are currently 12, 11, and 9. I think if I had spaced them further apart, they wouldn't be quite as good friends. They all certainly have times that I know they would benefit from having a little more space and time to themselves, but I think that their siblings sort of balance them out.
My oldest is a natural introvert and kind of close to the spectrum. He doesn't always love having his siblings around, but I think it's been good for him to be forced to interact with his little brother and sister. They are certainly the reason he has a great sense of humor and loves to play.
My middle is super smart and hyper-focused on his academics (even in fifth grade). It's good for him to goof off with his siblings sometimes and play. They have forced him to be more flexible and happier.
My youngest is the only girl and tends toward the girly. I'm glad she has some rough and tumble play with her older brothers.

I do think that there would have been benefits from more and focus too. I would have been able to help my daughter navigate her friend stuff better or had my oldest in counseling. But I like our family the way it is

Three years between dc1 and dc2
Five years between dc2 and dc3

It has worked out very well.

Anonymous wrote:19 months between 1 & 2
3.5 years between 2 & 3

Our family is perfect. I’m sure yours will be, too. Any spacing can be great.

I am leaning towards this as well. First 2 are 19 months apart, and we are waiting for the 3rd one. Hoping for 4 years apart. Just helps us be better parents to be honest.
It depends on your kids and how you function...

Between kids 1 & 2, the spacing is a little less than 2.5 years. They play very well together. Between kids 2 & 3, the spacing is just under 3 years. I like the age splits as they all interact and play very well together.

2.75 yrs between 1 and 2, 3.25 yrs between 2 and 3. I think two and half to three years is a great spacing bc the older one is old enough to be somewhat reliable and helpful, and they are still close enough in age to play together. I do wish they weren’t all three years apart in school, though, only bc we’d like to stop paying for childcare sooner.

21 months
&
24 months

We wanted to get the baby stage over with ASAP. This also works for us now that they’re elementary age because it means they can do some of the same activities and camps. We’re big skiers and we could also get them into it at the same time so everyone is if equal ability. It helps with traveling too - everyone can zip line, snorkel, etc. and we don’t have to worry about a baby or toddler.

Anonymous wrote:17, 15, 6

Pregnant with number 4

Second marriage?

2.5 years and 3.25.

Shorter is good because they play together more but we were too tired to do it any closer than this, and we had the relative luxury of starting in our early 30s.

1 and 2 are 19 mon apart
2 and 3 are 5 yrs apart

When number 3 was a baby it was easy since both older kids were in school all day and baby was pretty portable.

Now that number 3 is a toddler it is HARD. Dragging a cranky toddler in the late afternoon/early evening with you to piano lessons, tennis tournaments, recitals, swimming, etc. is no easy feat. When the first two were babies and transitioned from napping, it was easy to just put them to bed very early if they got cranky. I can't do that with the youngest because of the schedules of the older kids. Everything happens later now. And things the older kids want to do such as seeing live theatre, sledding, ice skating, skiing are so much harder with a toddler in tow.

What IS their spacing?
You're welcome.

19 months between 1 & 2
3.5 years between 2 & 3

Our family is perfect. I’m sure yours will be, too. Any spacing can be great.

1 & 2 are 13 months apart.
2 & 3 are 4.5 years apart.

It is what it is. Pros and cons to ALL age spacing. Nothing’s perfect. Nothing’s unworkable.