Anonymous
12/02/2019 17:28
Subject: Re:Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not trying to be sarcastic or judged... just in awe “ looking from the other side of the fence” and wondering how on Earth you do:
Private school for two kids
Full time nanny
Flexible 9-5, work from home jobs
I earnestly want to know so I can consider how to do whatever you are doing and consider career change for husband and me!
Not family money as PP said. My husband and I both have multiple advanced degrees in the fields in which we work, we both worked our asses off before we had kids and were able to rise to the top of our professions. Then he started his own company and I got to dictate what I wanted to do with my job. So we're lucky enough to be very well paid but also have flexible jobs. My in-laws are not remotely rich (my husband has paid for everything since his bike at age 12). My parents are wealthy and paid for my college but not either of my graduate degrees and they don't give us money. Honestly, we're very lucky. I don't think either of us necessarily thought this is where we'd end up, but we did. I know a ton of people who have worked their asses off their whole lives and haven't been as fortunate. So really we're just lucky.
OP, thanks for the candid answer. It is almost like you need mentors: coaches to guide you through life and parenting choices but people seldom talk about things like this- at least I. My age bracket. As I start planning for the future it is helpful to hear from others and find ways to sprinkle with luck my hard work-Working to pursue a Masters degree currently. May I ask what are the fields you and your husband are in? I feel every few years there are lots of which jobs have demand and which are dead ends. Sorry if I am prying too much and thank you again!
Anonymous
12/02/2019 17:02
Subject: Re:Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
Anonymous wrote:Not trying to be sarcastic or judged... just in awe “ looking from the other side of the fence” and wondering how on Earth you do:
Private school for two kids
Full time nanny
Flexible 9-5, work from home jobs
I earnestly want to know so I can consider how to do whatever you are doing and consider career change for husband and me!
Not family money as PP said. My husband and I both have multiple advanced degrees in the fields in which we work, we both worked our asses off before we had kids and were able to rise to the top of our professions. Then he started his own company and I got to dictate what I wanted to do with my job. So we're lucky enough to be very well paid but also have flexible jobs. My in-laws are not remotely rich (my husband has paid for everything since his bike at age 12). My parents are wealthy and paid for my college but not either of my graduate degrees and they don't give us money. Honestly, we're very lucky. I don't think either of us necessarily thought this is where we'd end up, but we did. I know a ton of people who have worked their asses off their whole lives and haven't been as fortunate. So really we're just lucky.
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:59
Subject: Re:Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I adjusted my hours to 6-2:30 and picked up at 3.
There was aftercare so I could use that as backup.
Lots of the SAHM's used aftercare just because kids liked it and it was easier than planning a playdate.
I did not use no care what so ever ... I mean, we need to go on dates.
I think no outside help at all is a little unhealthy.
Luckily we have a group of neighborhood friends where one of the eight couples hosts all the kids once a month and the other seven couples go out on dates. We also have in-laws who visit and live in a smaller house on our property and they watch our kids for us then. And we trade of babysitting with friends and we use some of our friends' nannies for babysitters if ours isn't available. So I totally agree with you that no help would be bad, but luckily we're in a good spot in terms of having a lot of people who can and are willing to watch our kids. I could definitely adjust my hours to earlier - I do that the one day I take them to their afternoon activity. I did that five days a week at my previous job but I hated never seeing them in the mornings. But I could do it two or three days a week for sure.
Ok, you can pay for private school and a full-time nanny with school age kids, but you need to do things like trade babysitting with friends and stick eight families worth of kids with one set of parents (yikes) while the rest of you go out?
Pay babysitters. There are many great ones out there.
No, we don't need to trade babysitting, we do it because our kids love playing together and they do so regularly. At least twice a month if not more we have dinner or brunch or some meal at someone's house with all the kids together (maybe someone is out of town sometimes, so the group fluctuates). The kids eat first and then go to the playroom and the adults eat next. It works well, the kids love it, and the adults do too. We have no problem paying for childcare, but our kids would much rather go to their friends' house than be at home with a babysitter, even their nanny whom they love.
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:55
Subject: Re:Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
Two working parents, one kid. We have very flexible hours but work from offices. I work 6:30-2:30. DH works 9:30-5:30. DH drops off, I pick up. I take him to after school activities. We use Blue Apron for meals, limiting grocery shopping for the work week. We have cleaners come every other week.
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:55
Subject: Re:Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
Anonymous wrote:Not trying to be sarcastic or judged... just in awe “ looking from the other side of the fence” and wondering how on Earth you do:
Private school for two kids
Full time nanny
Flexible 9-5, work from home jobs
I earnestly want to know so I can consider how to do whatever you are doing and consider career change for husband and me!
Not the OP, but probably family money.
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:54
Subject: Re:Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
Not trying to be sarcastic or judged... just in awe “ looking from the other side of the fence” and wondering how on Earth you do:
Private school for two kids
Full time nanny
Flexible 9-5, work from home jobs
I earnestly want to know so I can consider how to do whatever you are doing and consider career change for husband and me!
Private school for two kids
Full time nanny
Flexible 9-5, work from home jobs
I earnestly want to know so I can consider how to do whatever you are doing and consider career change for husband and me!
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:48
Subject: Re:Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I adjusted my hours to 6-2:30 and picked up at 3.
There was aftercare so I could use that as backup.
Lots of the SAHM's used aftercare just because kids liked it and it was easier than planning a playdate.
I did not use no care what so ever ... I mean, we need to go on dates.
I think no outside help at all is a little unhealthy.
Luckily we have a group of neighborhood friends where one of the eight couples hosts all the kids once a month and the other seven couples go out on dates. We also have in-laws who visit and live in a smaller house on our property and they watch our kids for us then. And we trade of babysitting with friends and we use some of our friends' nannies for babysitters if ours isn't available. So I totally agree with you that no help would be bad, but luckily we're in a good spot in terms of having a lot of people who can and are willing to watch our kids. I could definitely adjust my hours to earlier - I do that the one day I take them to their afternoon activity. I did that five days a week at my previous job but I hated never seeing them in the mornings. But I could do it two or three days a week for sure.
Ok, you can pay for private school and a full-time nanny with school age kids, but you need to do things like trade babysitting with friends and stick eight families worth of kids with one set of parents (yikes) while the rest of you go out?
Pay babysitters. There are many great ones out there.
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:46
Subject: Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
Anonymous wrote:I vote for Pt sitter. Growing up I had amazing sitters after school. My parents paid well above market and had an easy time finding them. My next door neighbors are doing the same now and I love their sitter. My sitters were really formative for me as I grew older. I’m still in touch with two of them. Of my two faves, one was a PT SAHM and brought her own kids, who we played with. And the other was a fun grad student. It was better than aftercare because the sitters made our family dinner.
Anyways, there are a number of good ways to arrange this, if you’re willing to pay well.
I think this depends on the kid. If they're social, they want to be at aftercare with their friends. I had an awesome PT sitter for a bit who was a grade student in her 20s and my kids were fine, but told me they preferred aftercare.
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:45
Subject: Re:Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
Anonymous wrote:I adjusted my hours to 6-2:30 and picked up at 3.
There was aftercare so I could use that as backup.
Lots of the SAHM's used aftercare just because kids liked it and it was easier than planning a playdate.
I did not use no care what so ever ... I mean, we need to go on dates.
I think no outside help at all is a little unhealthy.
Luckily we have a group of neighborhood friends where one of the eight couples hosts all the kids once a month and the other seven couples go out on dates. We also have in-laws who visit and live in a smaller house on our property and they watch our kids for us then. And we trade of babysitting with friends and we use some of our friends' nannies for babysitters if ours isn't available. So I totally agree with you that no help would be bad, but luckily we're in a good spot in terms of having a lot of people who can and are willing to watch our kids. I could definitely adjust my hours to earlier - I do that the one day I take them to their afternoon activity. I did that five days a week at my previous job but I hated never seeing them in the mornings. But I could do it two or three days a week for sure.
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:45
Subject: Re:Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
There is a lot of middle ground between no childcare and a full-time nanny. Kids that age are fine (and often happier) in organized, group childcare settings to fill in the gaps - aftercare, camps, etc.
For the one-off things like classes you want to bring them to or sick days, you flex your schedule.
And get a regular stable of sitters going for evenings and weekends. That is easy enough.
For the one-off things like classes you want to bring them to or sick days, you flex your schedule.
And get a regular stable of sitters going for evenings and weekends. That is easy enough.
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:43
Subject: Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
I vote for Pt sitter. Growing up I had amazing sitters after school. My parents paid well above market and had an easy time finding them. My next door neighbors are doing the same now and I love their sitter. My sitters were really formative for me as I grew older. I’m still in touch with two of them. Of my two faves, one was a PT SAHM and brought her own kids, who we played with. And the other was a fun grad student. It was better than aftercare because the sitters made our family dinner.
Anyways, there are a number of good ways to arrange this, if you’re willing to pay well.
Anyways, there are a number of good ways to arrange this, if you’re willing to pay well.
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:38
Subject: Re:Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
I adjusted my hours to 6-2:30 and picked up at 3.
There was aftercare so I could use that as backup.
Lots of the SAHM's used aftercare just because kids liked it and it was easier than planning a playdate.
I did not use no care what so ever ... I mean, we need to go on dates.
I think no outside help at all is a little unhealthy.
There was aftercare so I could use that as backup.
Lots of the SAHM's used aftercare just because kids liked it and it was easier than planning a playdate.
I did not use no care what so ever ... I mean, we need to go on dates.
I think no outside help at all is a little unhealthy.
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:37
Subject: Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Do your kids take the bus and when does the bus get to your stop?
I don't do aftercare because the bus doesn't get to my stop until after 4:30 and I flex my schedule to leave at 4 and I work 15 minutes away (and know other parents at the same bus stop).
No, our private does have a bus but our kids don't take it. Currently our nanny drops our kids off and picks them up. However, their school is only 7 minutes from our house and we've discussed doing a carpool with friends next year, so we'd take kids and pick them up maybe one day a week, which is definitely doable for us. They'd be home around 4. We could look into the bus because that would extend their day a bit, but I'm not sure the cost of the bus is worth it for that - I'd probably rather pay someone during that time.
I think my child is safer on the bus than riding in a car driven by various PT sitters or various other people who may or may not have proper carseats.
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:37
Subject: Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
You should hire a weekly or biweekly housekeeper. That’s way cheaper than a nanny!
Anonymous
12/02/2019 16:35
Subject: Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think aftercare at school will be more reliable and easier than finding a PT sitter. Look at all the threads on this board about how impossible it is to find PT sitters.
This. We never used an afterschool sitter until 2nd grade--it was REALLY hard to find someone willing to do PT who was high-quality. My coworkers have found them, but they usually charge something like $20-$25 an hour and want benefits, etc.
PT sitter with pickup duty for multiple small kids = pretty much the crappiest job ever, and anyone you find will flake or bolt as soon as a better opportunity comes up or life happens.