Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They probably *could* have done that in elementary school (by 4th grade) but I wouldn't have expected them to do that until they were in Middle School.

We were living in a new housing development when my youngest began catching the bus for Middle School. We didn't know too many people in the neighborhood and construction kept a constant traffic of strangers coming to work on the houses being built. Technically my MS kid was more than capable of getting to/from the bus stop all by himself. But I was glad to be there to see him off in the morning and to make sure that he got home safely from school in the afternoon. We lived a good distance from the school, didn't really know anyone so if he missed the bus and I hadn't been there for him that would have been a problem. I was glad to be home for our High School kid for the same reason.

This post is not helpful.

Well, I'm sorry. My point is that situations vary. In our old neighborhood where we knew everyone up and down our block and my kids had friends to walk to/from the bus stop with and I knew other adults that could have given them a ride to/from school if necessary, maybe it wouldn't have been so essential that I be at home for middle school and HS kids. Op is asking for a specific age and my answer is - it varies based on the circumstances.

I thought it was a helpful post. It shows that although a kid may be able to do the task at hand, there are a lot of other things to factor in besides basic ability that are out of our hands.

I guess there are plenty of guilty people who only want to tell OP (and themselves) what they want to hear -- that it's doable and perfectly fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They probably *could* have done that in elementary school (by 4th grade) but I wouldn't have expected them to do that until they were in Middle School.

We were living in a new housing development when my youngest began catching the bus for Middle School. We didn't know too many people in the neighborhood and construction kept a constant traffic of strangers coming to work on the houses being built. Technically my MS kid was more than capable of getting to/from the bus stop all by himself. But I was glad to be there to see him off in the morning and to make sure that he got home safely from school in the afternoon. We lived a good distance from the school, didn't really know anyone so if he missed the bus and I hadn't been there for him that would have been a problem. I was glad to be home for our High School kid for the same reason.

This post is not helpful.

Well, I'm sorry. My point is that situations vary. In our old neighborhood where we knew everyone up and down our block and my kids had friends to walk to/from the bus stop with and I knew other adults that could have given them a ride to/from school if necessary, maybe it wouldn't have been so essential that I be at home for middle school and HS kids. Op is asking for a specific age and my answer is - it varies based on the circumstances.

Middle School, so age 11

She gets herself breakfast and then walks to the bus stop.

I posted before but wanted to add that although my 6th grader could do this we kept morning SACC since his younger siblings are there anyway and I didn’t want to make him responsible for them. It’s not bad. All being breakfast and eat there. The oldest reads or finishes homework. The younger ones play with other kids before school. None mind going and it’s a nice way to ease into the school day. I have to work so it’s this or a long time at an after school program I’d I had later hours. They prefer the time in morning SACC.

Are there other before-care options? In my area there is a karate place that does before/aftercare plus a couple of others. I agree with a pp that says the college kid staying there may end up being more trouble than it’s worth.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a clearance? The college kid plan isn’t really legal - the IRS wants you to be more precise so they can tax the arrangement.

How would they ever know?

So sorry you are facing this and I hope you work out a safe solution.

Get the phone number of all people involved (crossing guard, school, transportation depot, bus driver etc.) and give your kid a phone with GPS enabled.

Did you say how old your daughter is? I don't think elementary kids should have to do this. My Dad died when I was in 9th. grade, so my Mom was working by then.
I was routinely late, started skipping school in high school.
Maybe the point of my post is, it really depends on your child.
My sister was really responsible, I was not.

2nd grade. But we’re a very organized family and I’m very strict.

Do you have a clearance? The college kid plan isn’t really legal - the IRS wants you to be more precise so they can tax the arrangement.

Anonymous wrote:They probably *could* have done that in elementary school (by 4th grade) but I wouldn't have expected them to do that until they were in Middle School.

We were living in a new housing development when my youngest began catching the bus for Middle School. We didn't know too many people in the neighborhood and construction kept a constant traffic of strangers coming to work on the houses being built. Technically my MS kid was more than capable of getting to/from the bus stop all by himself. But I was glad to be there to see him off in the morning and to make sure that he got home safely from school in the afternoon. We lived a good distance from the school, didn't really know anyone so if he missed the bus and I hadn't been there for him that would have been a problem. I was glad to be home for our High School kid for the same reason.

This post is not helpful.

My elementary kid went to morning care
Open at 7 am, they get the kids to the bus stop

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a sad way to start the day. I say this as a single mom who has had to rush kids out the door for years. If you have the option of a college student staying with you, definitely go that route.

One of my kids could reliably get out the door by the beginning of 9th grade -- alarm, making lunch, etc. I would not expect an elementary school kid to do this. Even if they could, they could burn down the house, get abducted, leave the door unlocked, forget their key, etc. I realize it's from necessity but keep in mind that they still deserve to be taken care of.

Again, single mom myself who has turned down plenty of job options so I could be there at both ends of the day for my kids. They deserve it.

NP, wow, way to make OP feel horrible. Work on your empathy.

OP, my oldest asked to do this in 4th grade. She preferred the extra time to get ready and the quiet house to before care. Our bus stop is right by our house. I used cameras and Ring to make sure it was going well ans we never had any issues. She was never late, never dressed inappropriately for the weather, etc. She also waited until other parents showed up at the bus stop before exiting our house.

PP is not trying to "make OP feel horrible." OP herself suggested getting a college student to be at home to help out, which I think is a great idea. A child this age should not be left alone in the morning to get herself to school, IMO. And I agree with PP - it is not only not completely safe or reliable, but at best is a sad way for her to start the day.

They probably *could* have done that in elementary school (by 4th grade) but I wouldn't have expected them to do that until they were in Middle School.

We were living in a new housing development when my youngest began catching the bus for Middle School. We didn't know too many people in the neighborhood and construction kept a constant traffic of strangers coming to work on the houses being built. Technically my MS kid was more than capable of getting to/from the bus stop all by himself. But I was glad to be there to see him off in the morning and to make sure that he got home safely from school in the afternoon. We lived a good distance from the school, didn't really know anyone so if he missed the bus and I hadn't been there for him that would have been a problem. I was glad to be home for our High School kid for the same reason.

I would find a morning sitter where you can drop your dd off there and they will take your dd to school. I think SACC is the childcare in your school, is that right? If so, I would do that and drop her off right when it opens. I had to do this with my elementary schooler and it worked out well. The care is quiet at that time so the ratio is fantastic. Some kids would bring their breakfasts with them. It is not a bad time to be at care.

I would not have a college student move in because that is just problematic for many reasons. If you want to consider an au pair, I would go that route. I'm not sure if you can afford that. An au pair is hard enough. Your college student will have guests of other college students and will add to your burden with cleaning/dishes/etc. It is just not a good idea.

Do you have an elderly neighbor who could walk your dd to the bus stop?

Otherwise you should get your dd up before you leave the house and then have her stay on the phone with you on speaker phone until she get on to the bus. I know people who have to do that because they don't have before school care available at their school.

GL