DISH DUTY!

Accept it if they say "Just relax" and DON'T want your help in the kitchen.

Anonymous wrote:Bring your muffins, bring your wine. Try to stay out of the way in the kitchen unless asked. Don’t make her feel like you’re trying to muscle in and take over. If she says sit back and relax, believe her. If she asks you to peel potatoes, peel potatoes. Clean up after yourself. Don’t criticize. Find small things to compliment.

You’ll be invited again and again.

Only don’t do it like my MIL, whose idea of cleaning up after herself involves rinsing dishes and leaving food scraps all over one side of the sink, and leaving the dishes on the other side, two feet from the dishwasher. Notice if the household scrapes into the garbage or uses a disposal, and do that. Rinse out the sink, too!

Bring your muffins, bring your wine. Try to stay out of the way in the kitchen unless asked. Don’t make her feel like you’re trying to muscle in and take over. If she says sit back and relax, believe her. If she asks you to peel potatoes, peel potatoes. Clean up after yourself. Don’t criticize. Find small things to compliment.

You’ll be invited again and again.

Avoid the master bedroom and ask before using the washing machine.

If you say you are watching the kids outside, don't come back in without them and then ask me while I'm taking the turkey out "Should (2 year old) be down by the river by herself?" Unless of course you enjoy watching me drop everything and bolt despite burning myself.

Don’t put your DIL’s underwear away for her (my mom put away BIl’s underwear - wasn’t appreciated that she went into their bedroom and their drawers without asking and she was hurt because she thought putting the laundry away was helpful)

Don’t pour out all the milk someone pumped to have flexibility during your visit to make room in the fridge for mayonnaise (my father in law did this to his daughter)

Do ask for what you want / need to be more comfortable rather than leaving people guessing

Do get up with kids if you can to allow them a little time to sleep in if the kids are young

If there’s a particular item you’d like to contribute or a holiday tradition you’re hoping to observe feel free to ask - but be gracious if they don’t want to do it

Do not bring food that has clearly spoiled

Do not stick the fork/spoon you have been eating with into shared dishes in the middle of the table

Do not proceed wiping the table with the napkin you just wiped your face with

Do not bring dollar store plastic toys that break after 5 minutes and then the kids are crying

Anonymous wrote:Watching the kids is very helpful, as long as you are really watching them. If you forget that you are supposed to be watching them, then it is not actually helpful as the parents have to watch them too.

Hahaha. Don't be like my MIL who promised to watch my 2 yo Larla while I sorted through some old clothes in the basement she wanted to give me, and then popped down 20 minutes later to ask if I had seen Larla because she had lost track of her. People were coming in and out too, and their house was on a busy road. This did not help me.

I’m confused, aren’t you going to your son’s house???

Tough crowd. I am betting OP is wishing she didn't ask her question.

Anonymous wrote:Try to keep the differences between a toddler and a dog in the front of your mind. My MIL was watching our toddler. I came into the room and asked her where he was since I did not see him. Her response" I opened the door and let him out. This is OK for a dog but not a toddler.

You win!

Try to keep the differences between a toddler and a dog in the front of your mind. My MIL was watching our toddler. I came into the room and asked her where he was since I did not see him. Her response" I opened the door and let him out. This is OK for a dog but not a toddler.

Be gracious and use what is offered -- don't share one towel to keep my laundry load down -- one shared towel is just weird

DO NOT BRING EXTRA COOKIES OR CAKES!!!!!!!

Don't go and just do the laundry. And don't move laundry from washer to dryer if you want to put your sheets in before you go to leave.

Don't come in and drop all your crap on the kitchen island.

Don't bring a food item that needs to go in the fridge.