Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have great flexibility and love my work but only get 60k. Good thing DH earns more. My DD is choosing not to pursue an MD for work life balance concerns, as well as the cost and length of med school.

Doesn't it depend hugely on specialty? My brother is a dermatologist that does mostly cosmetic work, all at his office, no hospital work. He has a great lifestyle.

I have an MD. I actually find that hospital work is more flexible than office work. For example, this Saturday, my daughter has a piano recital at 11am, so I am available in an emergency, but otherwise, I won’t go in until noon to see my inpatients. Plus no one expects to see “their” doctor in the hospital, so if I needed to find someone to cover for me, I could.

However, clinic is different. My clinic is booked three months out with most people booking appointments 3-6 months in advance. I didn’t know about the piano recital until 2 months in advance. So, if I had clinic that day, I wouldn’t have been able to go.
I can also leave the hospital if my kids are having an emergency and return later. But if I have clinic, I have to walk out and tell people in the lobby that I can’t see them that day, and they will have to reschedule. I have only done that twice. Once because my nanny had to call 911 because my son was septic, and once because I had strep throat, couldn’t think straight, and started making a ton of mistakes. I was afraid I would hurt someone.

I am surprised at people saying dentist. That doesn’t seem like a career that would support being a primary caregiver to children. Unless people are imaginj g that they would have a SAH spouse?

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would have went into dentistry.

Pp again. Except if I did, I wouldn’t have met my husband, I wouldn’t have gone into the career that brought me to DC and to this board. I would have had a very different life with different husband, different kids, and location. Would I have been happier?

No. I went into consulting right out of college. I had lots of options and choices along the way while building my career. I kept doors open and when I needed more flexibility and less hours, the dues I paid in grueling hours and tons of travel during my 20s paid off. Lots of people want a job like mine - work from home, 34-40hrs, $150k+, but people fail to realize that most people with well paying flexible jobs spend 10+ years laying the foundation to have that job.

I got stupid lucky. I did not think about work life balance at all until I turned 30. My parents jobs were not flexible - factory worker and teacher - but they were both home every night by 5pm so I never realized how much commute length mattered.

I was lucky that the corporate career I had helped me to develop the skill set I needed to start my own consulting business. It gives me a good amount of flexibility and I enjoy the work. And I make a lot of money which helps! If I had stayed on the corporate track I’m sure I would have done well but the hours and travel would have taken its toll.

No, I think I really lucked out in what I ended up in (data science / technology). I didn't really plan it but it is a field that allows for a lot of different lifestyles and career choices.

I do heavily regret not going for my MBA in my 20s - I got into Kellogg but I freaked out about the cost/loans, I also had a great job offer on the table at a new company so I chose to keep working. That MBA would have written my ticket for a lot of jobs I want now, but with kids in the picture the idea of going back to school seems insane. What's really annoying is that I watched my husband go through business school and I know first hand that getting in was the hard part. I did the hard part and then opted out of the fun and easy part, and now I get no credit for it. It's honestly the biggest regret in my life which I know is pretty good as far as regrets go, but still.

I think a lot about how to tell my kids to value things like work life balance, etc when choosing their careers, but I know that if someone had said something like that to me at 18 I would have thought they were a sell out. I was really driven by my ideals / ambitious / motivated to work, and lessons about 'work life balance' would have never gotten through to me. So I'll just try to help guide them toward something that allows for flexibility in the future, like law, technology, etc.

I kind of fell into my career. It's not exactly what I went to school for, but I have no regrets. I have an incredibly flexible job, but that's more the company I work for than the field. I'd like to think between myself and DH (much less flexibility), DD will have varied experience and advice to pull from.

I wish that I had my parents living with me. Career goals changed due to kids and childcare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I would have never gone into anything education related. The pay is horrible and the hours are horrible. I would have gone into corporate America and at least would have been paid for the long hours.

I’m the opposite. I would’ve gone into teaching because summers are off and there’s a pension!

+1

Anonymous wrote:Unless you choose something that you know has very little flexibility - like classroom teaching or surgery - it has much more to do with your career path (a lot of which is luck) and the companies you end up at etc. It’s rarely about the field. And flexibility issues will change as technology changes as well.

+1

Most of our work needs are not possibly anticipated, OP. Plus, there are far too many variables. The best firm can go out of business, etc. See above.

Anonymous wrote:Another one who wishes I would have gone into dentistry.

Yes, I talk about my kids about finding a career that offers work life balance and thinking ahead to what they want in terms of both lifestyle and pay.

Same for my DD.

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I would have never gone into anything education related. The pay is horrible and the hours are horrible. I would have gone into corporate America and at least would have been paid for the long hours.

I’m the opposite. I would’ve gone into teaching because summers are off and there’s a pension!

Luckily my job has grown more flexible as time has gone (and technology has grown). When I started my family we couldn't work from home and didn't have very flexible hours, but now I have that. With two teens who aren't yet driving, and extensive sports schedules, I'm very fortunate.

But I also have mommy-tracked myself, staying in this position because of its flexibility and not going for promotions. I'm happy with my choice, I'll be an empty-nester in a flash, and am glad I've been able to have a lot of time with my kids. But I have to often push back on the DH, who expects me to be like him chasing money, and pushes me to move up the ladder.

Another one who wishes I would have gone into dentistry.

Yes, I talk about my kids about finding a career that offers work life balance and thinking ahead to what they want in terms of both lifestyle and pay.

I only make $50K but do shift work and have a pretty flexible job. Next Weds our sitter can't babysit so im getting off 3 hours early to be with dd. i really value that about my job.
I don't make a lot but the bonus in family time makes up for it.

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to inform you DD or DS about the importance of jobs that will offer the family balance they may want. My parents only worried about getting 'any' job, not a job that would better fit my longterm life goals

Absolutely! My dad said jokingly the other day that some 15 years from now my daughter may be an intern in my firm and I said: Hell no! I do not want her to work these kind of hours.