"Baby naps from 2 to 4, so we'll need to skip that activity, but we can catch up again at dinner!"

Or "I'm sorry, but baby needs to be back at the house by 7pm for bed. I can still make it, but DH and baby will be leaving early".

You can't expect other people to know your schedule or needs. But you should speak up for yourself and your child and do what works best. It's fine to miss a few things.

the biggest challenge we faced was the thanksgiving meal. When she was younger she slept through it. When she was a little older, I realized that it wasn't always practical too make her sit for the entire meal. Your family won't mind if they leave the table and play. I was so concerned with having her "sit and eat" that i dint have a good time myself. try not to worry. Be sure to plan a nap and not stress during the meal. Sometimes my husband would sit in the"nap room" while playing on his phone until DD fell asleep. It gave him a break from my family and help DD fall asleep.

We have generally always kept to our schedule (our twins are now almost six), so if we were traveling to see my family, that might mean my husband stayed back for naps or handled bedtime so I could spend time with my family. The opposite would be true if we were with his family. It wasn't always ideal - of course we'd both love to be at everything - but it's fleeting. Personally, I would rather miss some time with family than have a day ruined by a cranky baby. So give and take and pick what you really want to do and be willing to split the time. Next year will be easier, and the year after that...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think missing out on stuff and/or dealing with a cranky kid is just the nature of being a parent to a toddler.

This is my in-laws attitude and why we don’t visit. We visit people who understand naps, regular meal times and kid friendly activities. My kids and I shouldn’t be completely ignored and excluded because of their existence.

You sound like a peach.

Thanksgiving dinner you go to.

Is your child on 1 or 2 naps? Can he nap on the go?

I would leave toddler with DH on Saturday and on Friday, see how the day goes.

Anonymous wrote:
On Thanksgiving day you prioritize a nap and try to push through dinner.

The other days you should get your kid to bed on time - even if it means missing some events. Maybe your spouse can stay with your baby in the evening while you go out. Then you can bring him leftovers or get take out at a restaurant? This is what my spouse and I did. When we were with his family I would stay with the baby while he went out to dinner. When we visited my family, I went out and he stayed with the baby.

Remember, this is fairly short stage. Your kid will be over the nap stage before you know it.

+1

I don't really see the problem. When does he nap? Is there a quiet room in aunt's house where he can go to sleep at night? Why not try? Is your DH coming? Would he mind leaving early so you can stay late?

Anonymous wrote:I think missing out on stuff and/or dealing with a cranky kid is just the nature of being a parent to a toddler.

This is my in-laws attitude and why we don’t visit. We visit people who understand naps, regular meal times and kid friendly activities. My kids and I shouldn’t be completely ignored and excluded because of their existence.

Compromise. If you know you want to do the evening activity (dinner) skip the afternoon activity and get a good nap. If one of the later days the afternoon activity is appealing, then skip the nap but be committed to an early bedtime.

Its tough having kids that age. And your baby doesn't sound difficult to me, he sounds normal. People who minimize a baby's need for sleep either don't remember having babies (or never had them) or had babies with crap schedules so it didn't make any difference if the schedule got messed up. My friends kids ONLY would nap in the car/stroller and coslept at night. So traveling didn't matter because it was the same everywhere for them. But I'd rather have my 2 hours of peace every afternoon and my solid 12 hours of night sleep thank you.

Anonymous wrote:I think missing out on stuff and/or dealing with a cranky kid is just the nature of being a parent to a toddler.

“Um your honor I’d like to submit the following flirty texts into the evidence.”
“Sir, this is an arraignment.””
“Okay but please see here where she says ‘thanks for the drink’ and a winky face.”