Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 19:48     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
Anonymous wrote:Well, if he supposedly hid the lego box behind the curtain, wouldn't he have been secretive about the Lego set too? Instead, he brings it out for dad's help with it. And wouldn't he have known Mom would've arrived home too?


No bc only the box reveals that it is a new set he wasn’t supposed to have. The bricks themselves wouldn’t give him away.

Agree that this requires action and he can’t keep the legos.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 19:20     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
Anonymous wrote:I would have been very upset. Sick is not an excuse. I would donate the toy and have him pick two or three of his current toys to donate as well.

I’m not strict on everything but lying gets big consequences.


Yeah, next time he'll be smarter and hide his transgressions better.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 18:32     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
Well, if he supposedly hid the lego box behind the curtain, wouldn't he have been secretive about the Lego set too? Instead, he brings it out for dad's help with it. And wouldn't he have known Mom would've arrived home too?
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 17:45     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
Anonymous wrote:I would take it away and another consequence but part of it is your husband's fault for not paying attention. Next time put it away.


Thinking the little guy had this planned when he knew mom would be out. He could have the toy down and out in the time it takes Dad to go to the washroom.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 17:43     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
I would take it away and another consequence but part of it is your husband's fault for not paying attention. Next time put it away.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 17:37     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
I would have been very upset. Sick is not an excuse. I would donate the toy and have him pick two or three of his current toys to donate as well.

I’m not strict on everything but lying gets big consequences.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 14:11     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hold him accountable by taking away the lego set now.

He is 5 and you are expecting a really high level of self control. I don't know any 5 yr old who can't get up to the cabinet on top of the refrigerator BTW.

You need a new hiding place and put a child proof lock on it. Keep the new place a secret. The level of self control you were expecting from your child is above the level of self control that he has at this age.

That is why you should still have prescription bottles tucked away at this point.

You have the child you have and he will get more impulse control, but he is not outside the range of normal at this age. Your expectations were outside the range of normal.

Disagree with this completely. He is 5, not 2. He should have the impulse control to not take toys that are forbidden.


Ha. I think you are not aware of children's development levels. A cabinet right above the refrigerator is hardly an out of sight place. Kids at 5 are often still sneaking cookies from a cookie jar or from the pantry. This was an incredibly tempting thing put in a cabinet that he sees every day.

My husband doesn't have the willpower to not get cookies out of the pantry when they are there. How many ADULTS are dieting and still cheat a little? This is no different from that.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 13:57     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he knew you were going to re-gift the legos? And were those Legos originally "his", until you unanimously decided it was going to be re-gifted, so maybe your DS saw "his" bday present that Granny gave him months ago.

Trying to see the other side of the story. You have such a knee jerk reaction and you must have comedown harshly given your kid, who isnt feeling that great to begin with, is crying for the past 20 min.

Did you (or dh) set him up for failure? Did your dh engage with him while you were out? Were there other toys to keep his mind off of things?

Sounds like he was left to his own devices so he snooped around, discovered a cool looking Lego set, and decided to try it out.


Really not sure where you got all that from. Seems pretty clear the kid knew what he was doing. OP, do not let him have the legos, you can not reward this type of behavior.


+100. PP is making excuses for a child that chose to do something he knew was wrong. Sick is no excuse. He's crying because he got caught. The toy was put away in a location he knew he was not supposed to access. The child chose to disobey. He chose to fail. I m so tired of the "set up to fail" excuse.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 13:13     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
Anonymous wrote:No, he didn't just break the rules he went out of his way to deceive his father. Actions have consequences and bad actions have bad consequences. He has learned that lesson today.

Also, who are these people standing over a 5 yo every minute so that this "couldn't happen?" Y'all need lives.


This.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 13:09     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
No, he didn't just break the rules he went out of his way to deceive his father. Actions have consequences and bad actions have bad consequences. He has learned that lesson today.

Also, who are these people standing over a 5 yo every minute so that this "couldn't happen?" Y'all need lives.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 13:03     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hold him accountable by taking away the lego set now.

He is 5 and you are expecting a really high level of self control. I don't know any 5 yr old who can't get up to the cabinet on top of the refrigerator BTW.

You need a new hiding place and put a child proof lock on it. Keep the new place a secret. The level of self control you were expecting from your child is above the level of self control that he has at this age.

That is why you should still have prescription bottles tucked away at this point.

You have the child you have and he will get more impulse control, but he is not outside the range of normal at this age. Your expectations were outside the range of normal.

Disagree with this completely. He is 5, not 2. He should have the impulse control to not take toys that are forbidden.


He had enough impulse control not to get it out while Mom was home


Teens know this to when it comes to drugs, drinking, or sex. The knowing is a different part of the brain than the doing (impulse control).

Op, I get why this annoyed you but this is a very minor infraction. Kids will know where you have your secret stash of whatever. Either don’t have them, or keep perspective when it gets broken into. It’s legos not whiskey.

Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 13:00     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
OP, you keep a "secret" stash of toys for potential future birthday parties that your DC knows about?

There are all kinds of problems with that.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 12:54     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hold him accountable by taking away the lego set now.

He is 5 and you are expecting a really high level of self control. I don't know any 5 yr old who can't get up to the cabinet on top of the refrigerator BTW.

You need a new hiding place and put a child proof lock on it. Keep the new place a secret. The level of self control you were expecting from your child is above the level of self control that he has at this age.

That is why you should still have prescription bottles tucked away at this point.

You have the child you have and he will get more impulse control, but he is not outside the range of normal at this age. Your expectations were outside the range of normal.

Disagree with this completely. He is 5, not 2. He should have the impulse control to not take toys that are forbidden.



He had enough impulse control not to get it out while Mom was home
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 12:51     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
Anonymous wrote:Hold him accountable by taking away the lego set now.

He is 5 and you are expecting a really high level of self control. I don't know any 5 yr old who can't get up to the cabinet on top of the refrigerator BTW.

You need a new hiding place and put a child proof lock on it. Keep the new place a secret. The level of self control you were expecting from your child is above the level of self control that he has at this age.

That is why you should still have prescription bottles tucked away at this point.

You have the child you have and he will get more impulse control, but he is not outside the range of normal at this age. Your expectations were outside the range of normal.

Disagree with this completely. He is 5, not 2. He should have the impulse control to not take toys that are forbidden.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 12:50     Subject: wwyd--5 year old discipline situation
He’s 5. Yes he should respect boundaries, but your DH is the one who should have supervised and stopped him from opening and playing with it. In my view a 5 year old should not be unsupervised long enough for all this to unfold. So I would tell him what he did is wrong, but no further.