Anonymous wrote:No, you don't mention gifts at all. Demanding a handy down gift is bizarre. We regularly purge stuff so more than likely if my children are not playing with it, we pass it on. Enough with the no gift, charity gift or what ever demand you have.

FWIW, I wrote to Carolyn Hax and asked for her take on saying anything about gifts on an invitation. She said she knows the old rule that it's rude to say anything, even no gifts, but that people seem to like helpful information such as "no gifts" so it's fine. I'm a rule follower but this rule just needs to die. I'm not suggesting people demand you provide gifts for a particular cause, but saying no gifts has got to be ok.

So, OP, I'd say no gifts and just mention to friends that maybe you can do a toy swap or something, outside the birthday context.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about:

No gifts expected; we try to reuse/ recycle, so hand me down toys/clothes welcome (but, again, not expected

No - just no

Why not?

Do not put anything about gifts on an vite. This includes:

No gifts, please.
Your presence is the present.
Donate to xyz charity in lieu of gifts.
Bring a book instead of a card.

Stop the madness.

Hand me down gifts?! Tacky!

No. Birthday party gift giving has already become confusing enough. Don't make it worse, OP.

No. Just say no gifts. Or graciously accept gifts! Just don't even mention them.

No, that’s kind of weird. And When you say “no gifts”, people feel bad and still bring some.
One of my friends frequently does a book exchange for the party. Could also do a board game exchange.

It is a good idea in theory, but hard to execute. Some kids have a hard time parting with toys even those they don’t play with and then to see it at a friends house might be weird.

Love the way you think out of the box, op.

Maybe a toy swap among parents. I’ve done a book swap this way—swapping books you’ve read to get a gently used copy of one you haven’t.

Anonymous wrote:Please don't make the whole gift thing any more awkward than it is already. As a PP suggested, just get together with your friends to do a swap or donate, do a toy drive for Christmas or something.

Do a charity donation party separately from your child's special day.

Yes, this. If your child gets new gifts that they really won't use, put them up on a shelf to regift or give away to a holiday drive.

The naysayers are narrow-minded and wrong. It's a wonderful idea, and I love the rephrasing offered a past above.
There's nothing tacky about it, it complicates nothing. It's better for the environment. It should become the norm, frankly.

Anonymous wrote:How about:

No gifts expected; we try to reuse/ recycle, so hand me down toys/clothes welcome (but, again, not expected

No - just no

I wish more people were ok with this. I’ve thought of doing it myself. So much more environmentally friendly.

If you feel strongly about the recycling maybe you could say something along the lines of 'No gifts please. But if you must, you may bring a toy or book that your child cherished and no longer needs'

I think this is a great idea! There is so much waste in this world, especially with new items. I would say something on the invitation along the lines of:

No gifts are necessary. Your presence is enough! But if you must, we welcome recycled/preowned/previously loved gifts, if you have an item you wish to pass along rather than donate at this time.

(In so many words. You get my drift. Play around with the verbiage. I know tons of friends that would rather pass along preowned toys/clothes/presents than buy new).

Please don't make the whole gift thing any more awkward than it is already. As a PP suggested, just get together with your friends to do a swap or donate, do a toy drive for Christmas or something.

Do a charity donation party separately from your child's special day.