Anonymous
11/06/2019 08:39
Subject: Re:Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I also went through infertility and multiple losses (I have literally been doing ART continuously since April 2015) and I am dreading my shower but for a different reason. I have sat through so many other ppls showers silently wishing for my own children. Now I am pregnant and I want to celebrate it but I want it to be just how I want it.
Unfortunately I have a very close friend who, for lack of a better word, is a reverse snob. She purposefully will go out and buy the cheapest thing available and not for lack of funds but for making the point. She has been very supportive through my journey and has become the host to my shower (she got together with my mom and now how does one say no). I love my friend; i just wish I could go out and decorate it how I want, have the invitations I want and buy food that I want to have and the cake that I want. Example: so far I know she is doing evite bc its free and wont do paperless post and she is getting a cake from the supermarket. I know this sounds spoiled but after all that heartache I wish I could have input.
Where is your mom in all of this?
My invite is on Paperless Post and it's free.
I mean this is the thing. She went to my mom and offered to host, my mom thought it was a great idea and asked me. I agreed and now she is the host and organizing everything. My mom is not the co-host. And yes there are free invites on paperless post but this is a perfect example about what i said abt her reverse snobbiness or her contrariness or whatever. I said i liked some invites on paperless post and she dismissed said she was already doing evite; i gather she thinks its pretentious or too popular. But again shes been a true friend for a long time, these are small things and i feel like a jerk complaining. But the topic was are you dreading and i am bc its not what i have envisioned for so long. ...
Maybe she just has a familiarity with Evites ... so you are annoyed that your invitations weren't up to par?
i'm also confused by this poster .. what's stopping you ... from buying a cake you want? and just letting your friend know "i got a cake"
my best friend "hosted" my shower, as in helped me plan things, but I purchased everything myself as I didn't expect her to pay for anything. If she is close enough to host your shower, she is close enough for you to tell her you want XYZ ... if you pay for it. I just don't think you can request XYZ and demand that SHE pay for it.
Sorry! not to hijack the thread! Along OPs original message - there is nothing that says you have to open gifts at the shower too! For our shower, we made it clear it was a "party" - there were no games, no gifts, it was co-ed, there were kids, we drank and ate and hung out and i got to see my friends and family that I knew I might not see for a bit once the craziness of a newborn entered our lives.
Anonymous
11/06/2019 08:08
Subject: Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
OP said that she was worried about being overwhelmed and emotional b.c she doesn't like attention and is grieving. Gets labeled ungrateful.
PP isn't happy because her friend is cheap and isn't throwing a fancy enough shower....and uh.....that's OK?
PP isn't happy because her friend is cheap and isn't throwing a fancy enough shower....and uh.....that's OK?
Anonymous
11/06/2019 08:01
Subject: Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I also lost my parents and think you sound incredibly ungrateful, honestly.
She is allowed to feel how she feels. Why does that bother you?
Yeah maybe shes an Introvert and doesn't want 30 people in her face at once. That has zero to do with gratitude.
Anonymous
11/06/2019 01:20
Subject: Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
Anonymous wrote:I refused all baby showers. I suggest you do the same in the future.
+1.
Anonymous
11/06/2019 00:05
Subject: Re:Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
A friend just threw a baby shower for us a couple of weeks ago. I had been totally dreading it for similar reasons: 4 years of infertility, not wanting people to make a big deal, not wanting to get emotional in front of everyone, etc.
So as the weekend approached, I got more and more anxious about it and looked forward to it less and less.
But you know what? I was so overwhelmed by how much love and support we felt in that house, and was so humbled that people would drop everything to come wish us well, that it ended up being a really beautiful time.
I hope you all experience something similar and are able to relax, breathe, be present, and be thankful that someone has gone out of their way to host for you and that friends and family prioritized attending your shower over all of the other things they could be doing. Even during the shower, I marveled at how lucky and loved we are.
So as the weekend approached, I got more and more anxious about it and looked forward to it less and less.
But you know what? I was so overwhelmed by how much love and support we felt in that house, and was so humbled that people would drop everything to come wish us well, that it ended up being a really beautiful time.
I hope you all experience something similar and are able to relax, breathe, be present, and be thankful that someone has gone out of their way to host for you and that friends and family prioritized attending your shower over all of the other things they could be doing. Even during the shower, I marveled at how lucky and loved we are.
Anonymous
11/05/2019 20:59
Subject: Re:Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I also went through infertility and multiple losses (I have literally been doing ART continuously since April 2015) and I am dreading my shower but for a different reason. I have sat through so many other ppls showers silently wishing for my own children. Now I am pregnant and I want to celebrate it but I want it to be just how I want it.
Unfortunately I have a very close friend who, for lack of a better word, is a reverse snob. She purposefully will go out and buy the cheapest thing available and not for lack of funds but for making the point. She has been very supportive through my journey and has become the host to my shower (she got together with my mom and now how does one say no). I love my friend; i just wish I could go out and decorate it how I want, have the invitations I want and buy food that I want to have and the cake that I want. Example: so far I know she is doing evite bc its free and wont do paperless post and she is getting a cake from the supermarket. I know this sounds spoiled but after all that heartache I wish I could have input.
Where is your mom in all of this?
My invite is on Paperless Post and it's free.
I mean this is the thing. She went to my mom and offered to host, my mom thought it was a great idea and asked me. I agreed and now she is the host and organizing everything. My mom is not the co-host. And yes there are free invites on paperless post but this is a perfect example about what i said abt her reverse snobbiness or her contrariness or whatever. I said i liked some invites on paperless post and she dismissed said she was already doing evite; i gather she thinks its pretentious or too popular. But again shes been a true friend for a long time, these are small things and i feel like a jerk complaining. But the topic was are you dreading and i am bc its not what i have envisioned for so long. ...
Maybe she just has a familiarity with Evites ... so you are annoyed that your invitations weren't up to par?
Anonymous
11/05/2019 20:48
Subject: Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
I dread being the center of attention and pregnancy makes me irrationally emotional so even looking at a cute onesie makes me tear up.
Anonymous
11/05/2019 20:44
Subject: Re:Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I also went through infertility and multiple losses (I have literally been doing ART continuously since April 2015) and I am dreading my shower but for a different reason. I have sat through so many other ppls showers silently wishing for my own children. Now I am pregnant and I want to celebrate it but I want it to be just how I want it.
Unfortunately I have a very close friend who, for lack of a better word, is a reverse snob. She purposefully will go out and buy the cheapest thing available and not for lack of funds but for making the point. She has been very supportive through my journey and has become the host to my shower (she got together with my mom and now how does one say no). I love my friend; i just wish I could go out and decorate it how I want, have the invitations I want and buy food that I want to have and the cake that I want. Example: so far I know she is doing evite bc its free and wont do paperless post and she is getting a cake from the supermarket. I know this sounds spoiled but after all that heartache I wish I could have input.
Where is your mom in all of this?
My invite is on Paperless Post and it's free.
I mean this is the thing. She went to my mom and offered to host, my mom thought it was a great idea and asked me. I agreed and now she is the host and organizing everything. My mom is not the co-host. And yes there are free invites on paperless post but this is a perfect example about what i said abt her reverse snobbiness or her contrariness or whatever. I said i liked some invites on paperless post and she dismissed said she was already doing evite; i gather she thinks its pretentious or too popular. But again shes been a true friend for a long time, these are small things and i feel like a jerk complaining. But the topic was are you dreading and i am bc its not what i have envisioned for so long. ...
Anonymous
11/05/2019 18:17
Subject: Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
New poster here. I did not want a shower, but plenty of people gave me presents once the baby was born.
Anonymous
11/05/2019 17:14
Subject: Re:Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
Anonymous wrote:I also went through infertility and multiple losses (I have literally been doing ART continuously since April 2015) and I am dreading my shower but for a different reason. I have sat through so many other ppls showers silently wishing for my own children. Now I am pregnant and I want to celebrate it but I want it to be just how I want it.
Unfortunately I have a very close friend who, for lack of a better word, is a reverse snob. She purposefully will go out and buy the cheapest thing available and not for lack of funds but for making the point. She has been very supportive through my journey and has become the host to my shower (she got together with my mom and now how does one say no). I love my friend; i just wish I could go out and decorate it how I want, have the invitations I want and buy food that I want to have and the cake that I want. Example: so far I know she is doing evite bc its free and wont do paperless post and she is getting a cake from the supermarket. I know this sounds spoiled but after all that heartache I wish I could have input.
Where is your mom in all of this?
My invite is on Paperless Post and it's free.
Anonymous
11/05/2019 16:10
Subject: Re:Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
OP here. First, thank you to those who responded with kindness. I feel less alone in my feelings and better as a result.
Second, just to be clear, my post had nothing to do with lack of gratitude. I greatly appreciate my family and friends rallying around me to plan something nice. Even more so, I appreciate their endless support over the past couple of years of fertility treatment and loss.
To everyone feeling similar overwhelming sentiments (and for whatever reason – no judgement here), I hope we’re able to live in the moment and enjoy our showers. As others have commented, things usually turn out alright even though we tend to play them up in our heads.
Second, just to be clear, my post had nothing to do with lack of gratitude. I greatly appreciate my family and friends rallying around me to plan something nice. Even more so, I appreciate their endless support over the past couple of years of fertility treatment and loss.
To everyone feeling similar overwhelming sentiments (and for whatever reason – no judgement here), I hope we’re able to live in the moment and enjoy our showers. As others have commented, things usually turn out alright even though we tend to play them up in our heads.
Anonymous
11/05/2019 15:44
Subject: Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
Anonymous wrote:I did not have one and have zero regrets. It sounds like someone wants to make it special for you, though, which is really sweet and kind. Make the best of it.
Just curious - did you get gifts? I have been to many showers and I'm really not a huge fan of them, but I would have gladly given a gift if there was no shower.
Anonymous
11/05/2019 15:43
Subject: Re:Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
I also went through infertility and multiple losses (I have literally been doing ART continuously since April 2015) and I am dreading my shower but for a different reason. I have sat through so many other ppls showers silently wishing for my own children. Now I am pregnant and I want to celebrate it but I want it to be just how I want it.
Unfortunately I have a very close friend who, for lack of a better word, is a reverse snob. She purposefully will go out and buy the cheapest thing available and not for lack of funds but for making the point. She has been very supportive through my journey and has become the host to my shower (she got together with my mom and now how does one say no). I love my friend; i just wish I could go out and decorate it how I want, have the invitations I want and buy food that I want to have and the cake that I want. Example: so far I know she is doing evite bc its free and wont do paperless post and she is getting a cake from the supermarket. I know this sounds spoiled but after all that heartache I wish I could have input.
Unfortunately I have a very close friend who, for lack of a better word, is a reverse snob. She purposefully will go out and buy the cheapest thing available and not for lack of funds but for making the point. She has been very supportive through my journey and has become the host to my shower (she got together with my mom and now how does one say no). I love my friend; i just wish I could go out and decorate it how I want, have the invitations I want and buy food that I want to have and the cake that I want. Example: so far I know she is doing evite bc its free and wont do paperless post and she is getting a cake from the supermarket. I know this sounds spoiled but after all that heartache I wish I could have input.
Anonymous
11/05/2019 15:41
Subject: Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
I did not have one and have zero regrets. It sounds like someone wants to make it special for you, though, which is really sweet and kind. Make the best of it.
Anonymous
11/05/2019 15:15
Subject: Re:Anyone else dreading their baby shower?
Anonymous wrote:I get it OP. I also really dislike being the center of attention. It makes me sweat profusely. Which is what happened at my baby shower.
So yes, I mildly dread those kind of events but usually end up happy they happened.
I'm the PP that is also dreading mine. I am worried I am going to be sweating the entire time, makeup running down my face.